Really Bad Week for Manchester United Managers, Past & Present | OneFootball

It all started down in Grimsby.

That’s where our necromantic buddy the Reaper watched from the stands as Rúben Amorim played with his magnets as his team collapsed. Insider sources report Rúben’s reluctance to watch the penalty shootout stemmed from his concern he might catch Death’s glance.

However, that bell has not yet tolled for Amorim. Not yet. But if the Red Devils fall to jumped-up Burnley it will be more than claret that gets spilled, if you catch my drift.

Fancy some Turkish Delight?

So our friend Ol’ Scratch hopped on board the direct flight from Manchester to Istanbul, enjoying that Turkish Air first class experience and probably scaring the living daylights out of the passengers and crew. They (let’s face it, Death uses neutral pronouns) had some impending business in Turkïye to attend to.

Solskjær in 2011. Trust us, he looks for Gollum-y now. (Source)

First, off to the Beşiktaş district, headquarters of the eponymous club. Ole Gunnar Solskjær, whose visage bears an uncanny resemblance to Gollum/Andy Serkis, was getting an earful from the BJKAS president in the dead of night less than an hour after the club’s dismissal from the Conference League.

They lost 2 – 1 on aggregate to Swiss side Lausanne, dropping the second leg at home by a single goal. Felix Uduokhai’s 46th minute red card was too much to overcome, though poor shooting up front didn’t help. Ole had been at the job less than seven months, taking over towards the tail end of last season and leading them into fourth place in the Super Lïg. Now he’s filing for unemployment.

After an early wake up and breakfast of menemen and çay, our shadowy protagonist had to hotfoot it across town to the Kadıköy district, home of Fenerbahçe! The storied club was knocked out of the Champions League during the playoff round, losing to Benfica 1 – 0 on aggregate. Looks like the board grew tired of José Mourinho’s antics, not to mention his tepid approach to game management, and they placed the Portuguese manager into the Black Coach. Look at the positive, José, now you don’t have to plan out your Europa League strategy!

So What’s Next?

So the Pale Rider wanders through the Grand Bazaar waiting for news on Amorim’s fate. Meanwhile, the big question is whether Sir Jim and his cronies might be looking at the sudden availability of these two former employees as an opportunity. The optics of calling either over to Old Trafford for a “meeting” wouldn’t be lost on Rúben, and might just light a fire under his ass.

Could United go retro and pull in a former gaffer? Time will tell.