Bruno Fernandes has picked his dream 5-a-side team – & it’s wonderfully chaotic | OneFootball

At Planet Football, we love nothing more than seeing famous players name their dream five-a-side team.

If nothing else, it’s an insight into their personalities. Will they be pragmatic, packing the side with tough competitors, or romantic and pick five street ballers and no defence?

Manchester United and Portugal midfielder Bruno Fernandes was asked this very question by Rio Ferdinand in the latest episode of Rio Ferdinand Presents.

All we can say is, if Fernandes ever went into management, his tactics would make Ange Postecoglou seem like the ultimate park the bus merchant.

We’ll let Fernandes speak for himself, adding the odd interjection only when we can’t resist.

Bruno Fernandes: Best five-a-side player? Oh, it’s a very tough one. I’m gonna put… I have to put one defender, no? If you want, I will put, as a defender, Pepe

Rio Ferdinand: I was with him the other day, actually, he’s very healthy, man.

BF: He’s going cycling, cycling kilometres and kilometres. I’m done with seeing photos of him on Instagram cycling.

So Pepe, just ahead of Rafa Varane, just because I played more with Pepe than I played with Rafa. But friendship-wise, Rafa was like one of my best friends here.

Friendship-wise in the national team, when I came, Pepe was one of the ones who helped me the most. So I need to put him there.

BF: In midfield, I will put Juan Mata because he was one of the most special players I’ve played with in terms of technical ability, he’s probably one of the best. And then in terms of personal, he’s by far one of the best.

Then up front… one midfielder, one midfielder… Pepe, yeah, but I think I have too many strikers to put on.

Let me think about another midfielder. I will put one that I think everyone has regrets about not seeing the best of him, that is Pogba.

I need to put him there. I’ve seen the best of him because I played against him in Italy.

Planet Football: Mata and Pogba is an insane 5-a-side midfield pairing. Pure cinema. We’re starting to like the cut of Bruno’s jib.

RF: What’s so special about Paul?

BF: He has everything. He could do everything as a midfielder. He could run, he could recover balls, he could score goals, he could give assists, he could head the ball, he could win duels, he could do everything.

He’s the most complete midfielder that I’ve seen for a long, long time who could do all these things.

Unfortunately, I’ve just seen that at Juve and I couldn’t see him as often here at the club because of injuries and many other things.

But I’ve played against him in Italy, he was unbelievable.

No, it was crazy, and I had to mark him. Look at me, my size-wise, I was at the time 68–69 kilos.

Paul was already a beast. Any diss, I was like… it was like a kid, like, stay back, like I do to my kids, “Stay there.” He was doing that to me.

So that’s three – Pepe, Juan, Paul. And I need two more. Obviously, Cristiano has to be there. It’s the main goal scoring of the football world all the time for me.

And then I have one more striker to put there. I will put Di Natale.

RF: Oh, in Italy, for Udinese.

Planet Football: The first wildcard. Ferdinand responds exactly as you would hearing about a forgotten schoolmate who’s bought a farm in the pub at Christmas.

BF: Nice. That guy is, when we talk about loyalty, that’s also a guy, yeah. He could have gone to Juventus, he could have gone I don’t know any other clubs, and decided to stay at Udinese for himself and for his family.

He wanted to stay there. He had an amazing career.

I think he’s top five goal scorers in Italy, Serie A, and that’s something unbelievable because he played for a team that struggles sometimes to be almost in relegation battles and stuff, and he still put numbers up there always, every year, like close to 20s.

And he’s been there with Totti, and I think he’s the one with fewer games and more goals, like ratio-wise. It’s unbelievable. What he did is unbelievable.

Planet Football: Fernandes reveals himself to be something of a football hipster with his Di Natale pick, considering he’s shared a pitch with Lionel Messi, Robert Lewandowski, Harry Kane, Kylian Mbappe and Neymar. 

RF: So that’s Pepe, Juan Mata, Pogba, Cristiano, Di Natale. Your five-a-side team.

BF: Yeah, I could have gone for many others, but I’ve friendship-wise and blend, yeah, I mix a little bit.

Planet Football: All very nice and sweet with the friendship angle, but who’s going in goal? We can’t imagine Cristiano has bought any gloves.

Anybody who plays five-a-side regularly knows a specialist goalkeeper can make all the difference.

Just having somebody who doesn’t automatically save with their feet and flinch away from the hardest shots is worth a few goals per game.