Kinsky ‘storms’ down tunnel and Tudor doomed, but there is some good news for Spurs… | OneFootball

No surprise about where the majority of today’s media attention lands, with Spurs going beyond Full Spurs to previously undiscovered new levels under a manager plumbing previously undiscovered new depths.

Annoyingly for Mediawatch, the sheer nightmarish ridiculousness of Spurs’ reality means even some of what on the surface seems absurd coverage is actually, well, kind of fair enough.

But not all of it. Never all of it.

X rated

A rare day indeed when the biggest story of the day really is almost impossible to sensationalise. Pretty much every outlet has a TUDOR MUST GO story, and yet not one of these unequivocal assessments of a four-game managerial reign can possibly be considered hyperbolic or sensationalised.

It’s just… true. The only two possible quibbles are to wonder where this energy was from the press pack when their hero Thomas Frank was getting Spurs into this mess in the first place, and to wonder whether it really might be for the best to keep Tudor on until the annual Anfield humiliation is out of the way at the weekend before giving literally anyone else on earth a clear run at the free-hit second leg against Atleti and the monumental pre-interlull six-pointer against Nottingham Forest.

But yes, astonishing as it might be, the sight of the press pack in unanimous agreement that a manager must be sacked after just four games is neither surprising nor scandalous. It really is that bad. Spurs really are that club.

But the UK tabloid press are still the UK tabloid press, and almost impossible isn’t entirely impossible. Even now, housery must occur when there is clearly no need for it at all.

You’d think, really, that the sight of a team subbing off their goalkeeper for tactical reasons 16 minutes into a Champions League game would be wild enough, wouldn’t you? That this was a story already absurd and ridiculous enough to need no lily-gilding or garnish.

You would, obviously, be wrong.

Because why settle for that when you can suggest it was in fact Cristian Romero’s decision to replace Antonin Kinsky rather than Beleaguered Igor Tudor (to give him his now mandatory full name) calling the shots?

Now the one slightly awkward thing here is that this idea was put to Tudor in the post-match presser, and he dismissed the idea out of hand: “My decision, of course.”

So you can’t really flat out claim that Romero did it in the presence of that quote and absence of compelling evidence to the contrary. So what to do?

If you’re The Sun, simply spend less time than a Kinsky Champions League appearance on X-formerly-Twitter to find some randoms saying it and just make the story ‘Spurs fans claim’ instead.

You’ve got all the usual stuff in here. A grand total of four random X-formerly-Twitter users quoted, three of whom were ‘eagle-eyed’ enough to watch the ‘viral video’ and jump to a reasonable yet unprovable conclusion, and one who said simply ‘WHAT IS THIS CLUB’ which is a valid and entirely unanswerable question.

Does The Sun bother to carry the only quote we have on the subject from one of the two people actually in a position to know the truth?

Like Spurs fans as a game kicks off, you already know the answer.

Storm warning

Crucial point of order for this Daily Express headline. These things matter.

That was no storm. That was a trudge if ever we saw one.

Jungle is massive

Let it not be said that it’s all doom and gloom at Spurs. There is always some good news if you’re willing to search hard enough.

Take, for instance, this magnificent sentence from The Sun’s inevitably eclectic round-up of possible Tudor replacements (Mason, Poch, Keane… Amorim) about ‘Arry, clearly the only man for this particular crisis.

Surely not until after Cheltenham wraps up on Friday, though?

History boys

The Express’ version of the ubiquitous TUDOR OUT missives this morning is broadly identical to all the other TUDOR OUT missives. There’s stuff about being on the brink. Reasonable assertions that subbing your keeper after 16 minutes and then blanking him might be sub-optimal. Fair observations that while Spurs were bad under Frank they are now somehow even worse.

But also, because it’s the Express and they can’t help themselves, just a really weird line snuck in among it all.

Schools that spend valuable time teaching the history of comically inept football clubs? Sounds like utter woke nonsense to us. Probably on the curriculum at the same definitely real schools that exist where they put out litter trays for the students who identify as cats.

Gunned down

A fun game here based on this Daily Star headline.

How many times does Mathys Tel, for it is he, mention Arsenal in the subsequent quotes?

HINT: it’s the same number as Tottenham wins under Igor Tudor.

Me, Myself & I

Much like with watching Tottenham, Mediawatch often assumes we’ve seen everything the press are capable of, only to frequently find ourselves astonished anew.

Take this new wheeze from the Mirror, for instance.

Sounds very harsh, doesn’t it? Singling out one person after a collective disappointment? What kind of manager would ever do that, perhaps after, say, 16 minutes of a Champions League game? Certainly not Arne Slot, surely?

No denying it grabs the attention. Who could possibly resist clicking that to see which poor sod is in the manager’s crosshairs. Certainly not Mediawatch, that’s for sure. So who’s he blamed, then, the big meanie?

Technically correct will always be the best kind of correct for sh*thouse headlines, and this looks sure to become a new staple of the genre – 10/10, no notes.