Man Utd caretaker manager in-tray: Mainoo back, Dalot dropped, parking space ignored, Fergie consulted | OneFootball

Manchester United seem likely to go for the caretaker manager option, so we have made things a little easier for Ole Gunnar Solskjaer or Michael Carrick.

Those appear to be the leading candidates for the role of temporarily making Manchester United feel a little bit better about themselves, before a more permanent arrangement is made in the summer.

Here is a handy checklist for Solskjaer, Carrick, Darren Fletcher, Ruud van Nistelrooy or Dong Fangzhuo to work through when they are appointed.

Phone – and then talk extensively about – “Sir Alex”

Obviously. It’s not physically possible for someone who played for Manchester United between the years of 1986 and 2013 to make any life decision without first consulting and seeking the blessing of Sir Alex/the gaffer/the boss.

Manchester United want you as caretaker manager? Best ask Fergie before literally anyone else.

Not 100 per cent sure what to wear to this work do later? Send the big man a message.

Cook something in or order a takeaway? Just let me ring this 84-year-old widower I’ve not seen in years and he can decide.

The next step is to then proudly and openly tell a room of fellow adults about how the immediate instinct at any mildly important juncture in your existence is to discuss things not with your wife and family but your boss of at least a decade and a half ago, and for that room of fellow adults to somehow not burst into simultaneously uproarious laughter.

This is not a particular dig at any of those individuals and their blind veneration of Ferguson, more the wider culture whereby Jason Wilcox and Omar Berrada literally invited him over for coffee on Tuesday morning because Manchester United cannot get over the man who literally recommended David Moyes as his replacement – and nor does Ferguson really want them to.

Kobbie Mainoo returns

The open net any caretaker manager worth the time and effort must convert is the reinstatement of a popular but ostracised player to the starting line-up.

And to his credit, Amorim has provided a delicious ball into the box by making Mainoo, an academy graduate more than gifted enough to make a difference in a problem position, such a prominent talking point.

Mainoo is the big winner of the latest Manchester United sacking, and so too is the manager who can come in, put an arm around him and accept the plaudits for picking one of the better players in the squad over Manuel Ugarte.

Diogo Dalot is dropped

The other side of that coin is to unceremoniously drop someone clearly favoured during the previous failed reign.

The Mainoo restoration makes Ugarte a natural and obvious candidate there but it feels like more separation from the Amorim regime is needed.

Diogo Dalot is a compelling option. He made more appearances under Amorim (54) than every player bar Bruno Fernandes (58), having also made the podium during Erik ten Hag’s time at Old Trafford.

And rarely if at all has he warranted that level of esteem or protection. A thoroughly mediocre player on whichever side he is deployed, Dalot ought to be far more vulnerable as a clear favourite of the last two sacked managers; sticking him on the bench for a bit is an easy win.

Stop playing 3-4-3

Like dating after a break-up and becoming infatuated with someone purely because they don’t actively sh*t themselves, even the lowest bars must be cleared.

Something about DNA

That, of course, links in to perhaps the biggest part of the remit of any Manchester United manager, caretaker or otherwise.

This week alone, a great many people have offered their understanding of the Manchester United DNA.

Neville referred to it as “aggressive, adventurous, exciting football, playing young players and entertaining the crowd”.

Ferdinand said “you’ve gotta be brave, you’ve gotta have imagination, you’ve gotta be relentless,” as well as “fast and aggressive”.

Fletcher believes it comes down to how players “embrace the challenge” and become “excited” by it.

It all links back to the tenets established by Sir Matt Busby and elucidated by perhaps their greatest exponent, Sir Bobby Charlton:

Four at the back. Two quick wingers either side. Fred the Red up top. All tactical decision made by an open committee including Ratcliffe, Wilcox and the estate of George Best, obviously with Sir Alex being phoned before anything is finalised.

Not parking his car in the manager’s space

An act of absurd defence almost definitely rectified in the two-and-a-half years between his permanent appointment and eventual sacking, it is nevertheless intoxicating – and frankly really quite easy – to imagine that Solskjaer continued to see Ferguson’s former parking space as sacrosanct throughout his tenure.

“It just doesn’t feel right parking there. It’s still the gaffer’s place,” the Norwegian reportedly told staff in April 2019, the ludicrously potent early vibes from his caretaker reign having finally started to wear off.

Sir Jim Ratcliffe has almost certainly installed a parking meter in the space so when Solskjaer learns that Ferguson has been unknowingly racking up hundreds of thousands of pounds of unpaid charges, he can just get Rio to pin a GoFundMe in the former players’ WhatsApp group to sort it as they all compete to see who pays off the most.

Make it explicitly clear you are here just to do a job for Manchester United Football Club

Arguably the most important box for an interim to tick can only really be done when facing questions from the media about anything beyond basically the next game.

You cannot lead with it unprompted for that would be insane and the entire world would freeze in panic, not knowing what course of action to take next. So wait patiently for the question or any variation thereof to be put to you at a press conference:

We simply cannot rest as a collective until we are specifically told that the Manchester United caretaker manager is just here to do a job for Manchester United.