Man Utd fan’s viral haircut challenge is exposing modern society’s hollowness | OneFootball

Society has long since descended into individualism over the collective before Manchester United‘s game at West Ham last night.

But the spectacle of a genuinely crucial match at both ends of the Premier League table being turned into a sideshow over one man’s haircut was especially galling.

It’s a piece of inconsequential news that has transcended football. There’s nothing inherently wrong with that, but seeing Michael Carrick asked about it pre-match confirmed we are truly through the looking glass.

Some United fans reported going into the office yesterday and being asked about it by non-football fans, the type to mistake every match-going fan as a hooligan and consider cheddar cheese to be a bit spicy.

Wayne Rooney, one of United’s least problematic pundits, spoke for most Old Trafford regulars by saying: “I’d put him to the other side of the country, he’s doing my head in.”

“We’re talking about Carrick and United trying to win their fifth game in a row and the whole thing is about this guy getting his haircut.

“I bet he’d be devastated if United win the fifth game because all of a sudden he’s irrelevant.”

Frank Ilett streamed himself watching the game, fully capitalising on his 15 minutes of fame. There were even newspaper reports in Spain about the curious British eccentric.

But Ilett is not an eccentric; he is an exhibitionist. The self-esteem of an exhibitionist is franchised out to other people, creating an air of desperation about them.

There’s no finish line, no landing strip. It never stops. If United had beaten West Ham yesterday, Ilett would’ve upped the ante with another challenge rather than slip back into obscurity.

Despite four successive victories, United didn’t look like securing a fifth at a strangely raucous London Stadium.

It took a spectacular fluke strike from Benjamin Sesko to secure a draw against revived opponents, who made Carrick’s team look ordinary for long periods.

“We go again for the next five,” one of Ilett’s friends said at full time, as the man of the hour sat pensively with a thousand-yard stare masking a modicum of inner delight.

“The longer the better for the charity,” he eventually said, referring to how he will donate his hair to The Little Princess Trust, which provides wigs to children who have lost their hair.

“I don’t want this to be about me.” But that’s the rub. By this point, almost 180,000 people were watching.

Ilett started off saying it was all for charity, a harmless bit of fun that gently shone a light on United’s inconsistencies.

But now he’s done multiple sponsored posts, streamed himself watching yesterday’s match to boost his own bank balance, has his own merchandise and even his own cameo page.

While Ilett will continue to tell himself and everybody else this is all for charity, such an assertion requires a large pinch of salt.

This may have been the case had he rejected all sponsorship deals and kept the publicity down to a minimum.

But something that may have once been organic has been co-opted by the leeches of big business, with Ilett’s full endorsement. Any innocence has been stripped bare.

The facade of the livestream demonstrated how there’s nothing else there. The whole thing is garish, hollow and bafflingly popular with a gormless minority.

With the clippers back in their stable, we’re spared a repeat until Carrick’s men string another couple of victories together.

It’s asking too much that we give this Temu Felliani the appropriate level of attention next time.

There are too many vested interests at play and too many participants writing it off as ‘banter’, the same people who openly admit they haven’t read a book in years.

The only way Ilett can redeem himself with United fans is by vowing not to cut his hair until the Glazers sell up. Now that would be a worthy cause.