Michael Carrick ‘spots’ major Manchester United problem as transfer decisions made | OneFootball

There’s a surprise story setting the news agenda this morning while the slower-off-the-mark corners of the football media landscape are still foolishly busy talking about such minor events as Arsenal v Chelsea.

There’s also an exciting Iconwatch and the distressing return of Acewatch to… enjoy.

And Michael Carrick using all his experience to ‘spot’ something that would surely have escaped the attention of Joe Public.

Every woman, every man Sometimes Mediawatch simply has to hold its hands up and concede that we really just do not understand, well, the Media. Even after all these years of watching.

Because if you’d asked us what the biggest story in football this Monday morning might be, we’d have had a fairly confident guess that it would maybe have something to do with Arsenal beating Chelsea in the biggest game of the season so far. Or maybe you might want to throw things forward to this week’s return of the Champions League. That would make sense. We could get behind that.

We could even accept something on Everton’s late fightback against Manchester United, or one of the many ongoing crises already engulfing the Premier League, whether that’s the three teams who still for some reason stubbornly refuse to score any goals at all or maybe even Fulham entering prime You Fear For Them, You Really Do territory at this early stage of the campaign.

But none of those are actually the biggest story in football this morning. And we know that because we, as everyone must, will always concede that the biggest football story in the world at any time is the one The Sun’s football homepage decrees to be the biggest story in all of football at any moment.

And this morning, that means it’s this.

Yes. Erling Haaland has used a relatively small amount of his relatively large fortune to purchase a caravan, and what’s more he intends to drive ‘somewhere’ in said caravan.

Really puts Arsenal taking an early grip on the Premier League title race into perspective.

Especially when you consider the full extent of the outlandish plans the big man has for his new purchase.

Listen, fair play, that is undeniably how caravans work.

Spotter’s badge A frustrating Sunday afternoon for Manchester United at Everton, but the good news is that everything is in hand. The Daily Express have the details.

One could, if one were so inclined, be rather cruel here and suggest that spotting the fact that a) Manchester United have conceded two goals in every game this season and b) that it might be an idea to concede fewer goals, is a low bar for a well-remunerated Premier League manager to clear.

Decisions, decisions The really good thing about Man United only drawing against Everton is that it raises the tantalising prospect of a United crisis, especially with the Manchester derby coming up at the weekend. There is rich potential there.

Take a little bit of mounting Man United unrest, throw in a healthy dose of the classic post-window performance of pretending one of the available free agents might come in, and you can come up with this headline. If you’re the Daily Star.

The ‘David Alaba decision made’ is that Man United will not be signing David Alaba because of course they won’t. The transfer race Michael Carrick has been told he’ll win is for Adam Wharton next summer. By no less an authority on these matters than John Obi Mikel. That deal is now basically done.

Iconwatch Regular Mediawatchers will of course be familiar with the ever-popular Acewatch feature. We hope you’re as excited as we are to introduce its spin-off as, thanks to The Sun, we can bring Iconwatch to the world.

Glenn Whelan. It’s Glenn f*cking Whelan.

Acewatch Talking of which, we regret that the unbending rules of Acewatch mean we have simply no option but to bring you this headline from the Daily Express with our most sincere apologies.

That would be Victor Ibarbo, whose impeccable ‘Prem ace’ credentials amount to four games and no goals for Watford on loan back in 2015/16.