Premier League Update: GW 23 | OneFootball

Bournemouth 5 – 0 Nottingham Forest

You’re not getting punked. This is the real score. Justin Kluivert’s long strike continued his outstanding form. Then came the Dango Ouattara show, with a hat-trick in the next 32 minutes to completely shell-shock the previously high-flying visitors. For a non-striker, he certainly has me convinced he should be the nine. Nottingham’s ten game unbeaten streak came to a crashing halt, but they remain third in the table.

Brighton Hove & Albion 0 – 1 Everton

First referee controversy: the handling call against Joël Veltman. This could have gone either way. In favor: his arm moved into the ball, pushing it out of place. Against: he was being pressured from behind, and the arm movement wasn’t deliberate. It went the former, and Everton won because of it.

Liverpool 4 – 1 Ipswich Town

I honestly can’t tell if Ipswich are that bad, or Liverpool that good. Either way it was 3-0 at half. Mo Salah’s signature tight-angled goal off that left foot propelled him to seventh on the all time list. The Jacob Greaves goal for the visitors was the only stain on an otherwise outstanding and dominant showing from the league leaders.

Southampton 1 – 3 Newcastle United

Southampton got a lovely header from Polish hard man Jan Bednarek in the 10th minute. That just made Newcastle mad. When Isak was brought down in the box, he converted the resulting spot-kick. Four minutes later, he lashed one in from distance. Credit the Saints for not giving up. Without VAR, this might have ended in a 2-2 draw, Stockley Park snatching away a goal and awarding the first Isak pen after advising the referee to check his monitor.

Wolverhampton 0 – 1 Arsenal

Second referee controversy: Myles Lewis-Skelly’s red card. Yes, the tackle was deliberate. It also disrupted a promising counter, but this wasn’t a last man scenario. To send him off was extremely harsh. But for the love of the game, people, stop heaping online abuse and threatening official’s families. That’s just not right. The toothless Wolves simply could not capitalize on their advantage and then evened the sides when João Gomes earned a second yellow in the 70th. Riccardo Calafiori would score only four minutes later.

Manchester City 3 – 1 Chelsea

N00b defender Adbukodir Khusanov could not have had a worse start. Chelsea were a goal up after 3 minutes off his mistakes. But fair play to City, who rallied as a team to regain the possession and turn the match around. When Joško Gvardiol scored in the 43rd, it was deserved. City’s lead came after Erling Haaland controlled an Ederson goal kick, spun Trevor Chalobah silly and lofted the shot over an out-of-position David Sánchez. Omar Marmoush also made his debut for Manchester, and despite not quite understanding the offside rule looked very promising indeed.

Crystal Palace 1 – 2 Brentford

Dropping points to an out-of-form Brentford at home has to sting Eagles fans. Palace looked out of sorts for much of the game, and should look in the mirror after this defeat. It wasn’t all doom and gloom, however. Selhurst Park was treated to a stunning debut from recent signing Romain Esse, scoring on his very first Premier League touch.

Tottenham Hotspur 1 – 2 Leicester City

If the Forest result was shocking, the only surprising aspect to this upset was how inevitable it seemed to be. Up a goal at the half, Spurs hadn’t necessarily played well, but neither had they given the Foxes many chances. Barely five minutes into the second and all that was gone when Leicester snatched two unanswered goals. Hell, Moroccan midfielder Bilal El Khannouss had so much time after receiving his pass he brewed a cup of coffee, checked his Instagram and THEN took two dibbles before smacking it into the lower right corner. All this without a Spurs defender coming within feet of him. Spurs had no answer. Nothing. Not even a glimmer of fight. If this is Angeball… unsubscribe.

Aston Villa 1 – 1 West Ham

The home side struck early and were hands down the stronger side in the first 45 minutes. But West Ham must have done some serious soul-searching in the dressing room, emerging back onto the pitch a rejuvenated force. They pushed and prodded Villa in much of the entertaining second half before Emerson’s thumping header leveled the score. Deep into stoppage it appeared Lucas Paquetá had given the Hammer the lead; but alas he was offside.

Fulham 0 – 1 Manchester United

I’m struggling to find anything really positive to say about this match. Maybe it was the brief glimpse of FIFA’s Dr. Evil, Gianni Infantino, watching from the luxury boxes. Maybe it was game fatigue, but the tactical posturing just wore me down. Lisandro Martínez got lucky his shot took the barest of deflections to loop over Mats Sels, otherwise this was going down as the Match Week 23’s snooze fest.