Ray Hudson’s Best Calls | OneFootball

A tribute to Ray Hudson — the man who put “magisterial” on the map.

You know his voice. But even more so, you know his vocabulary.

Ray Hudson’s 20-plus year career as a broadcaster was full of highlights both on the field and in the booth. He wasn’t the first person to ever utter the word “magisterial,” but he may as well have invented it, and it’s now forever etched in the football zeitgeist because of him. His incredibly deep bag of similes and metaphors made the games he called must-see TV, whether it was a Messi–Ronaldo El Clasico or a random MLS matchup on a Tuesday night.

Hudson recently announced his retirement to The Athletic, ending an iconic run that saw him become the voice of soccer in America. His Geordie tones soundtracked some of the most memorable moments in the game, and his zealous love for the sport is oft imitated, but never replicated.

To celebrate his career, I’ve decided to look back on some of my favorite moments from one of my favorite ever callers of the game.

In addition to his career as a legendary broadcaster, Ray Hudson spent four seasons as an MLS manager with the Miami Fusion and DC United. Jeff Gross/Allsport

First, consideration needs to be shown to his unique style. He had a ludicrous approach to color commentary, combining poetic phrases, imagery, hyperbolic expressions, and some of the most incredible metaphors anyone has ever heard. His signature accent and voice made them sound even better.

“He literally disperses his atoms on one side of the defender and collects them on the other side,” is a mere glimpse into the lens which Hudson viewed the game through.

His vivid palate of figurative speech made him stand out and is why he’s so beloved.

“Like a kangaroo on a trampoline” — how does he come up with this stuff on the spot? It really is a talent. His over-the-top enthusiasm for the game was as beautiful as it was contagious. Throughout the history of the game, commentary can make a moment. It adds to the ecstasy. Hudson’s passionate and expressive delivery elevated even the most brilliant of moments. Measured, tactical analysis or pure emotive fireworks? I know which one I’d rather have…

His partnership with Phil Schoen was also perfect. A calm, play-by-play approach from Schoen complemented Hudson’s explosive nature creating the ideal mixture. Their time covering La Liga together is one I fondly remember, and is a constant reminder of a time during football that I just fell deeper and deeper in love with the game.

Though he’s called the name of thousands of players, one stands out in particular: Lionel Messi. The Argentine phenom, especially during his time at Barcelona, routinely produced magic that couldn’t be described with words — unless you were Hudson.

He did it in a way no one else could at a time when people ran out of superlatives. To celebrate Hudson’s career, here are some of his best quotes spanning across many years, players, teams, and more…

On Lionel Messi

“The menacing man arrives and sinks his flaming spear into the hearts of Real Madrid. Astonishing from Messi…all the pieces falling into place. Messi, born into the crossfire hurricane and he is Jumpin’ Jack Flash.”

“You could drop a tarantula into his shorts and he’d still be cool.”

“Look at the way he picks his spot, the way only Messi can… He could make Ebenezer Scrooge smile!”

“Waahhh.. are you kidding me? This man is absolutely mainline to pure footballing magic that belongs in a different galaxy altogether.”

“Lionel Messi, the nerve of a cat burglar. He’s as cool as the seeds inside a cucumber.”

“Like a happily married couple, Messi washes, Kun Aguero dries.”

On Football in General

“Giving Cristiano that much time and space on the ball is like giving Dracula the keys to the blood bank.”

“He tries to hit the spiders in the corner (with a shot) but he’s still adjusting his gyroscope.”

“He could follow you through a revolving door, and come out first.”

“Barcelona were like a three pound chicken trying to lay a four pound egg…just constipated in front of goal.”

“Llorente has an absolutely impossible task to hit that first time. Well, he just threw a pint glass into a shot glass. Astonishing.”

Hudson’s retirement is a sad moment for the game, but he leaves behind a load of memories. He told The Athletic upon his retirement, “It wasn’t a shtick. There was no rehearsed methodology. It was just me. Being isolated in that booth is strange. You don’t realize the multitude of people that are tuning in and getting such enjoyment from so much of it. For whatever time is left for me, I want it to be just a fan now. It’s always been working at it to get better in football as a player, as a coach, and then a broadcaster. So it’ll be fun to just not have that calendar now.”

The ex-Newcastle United man and American soccer journeyman takes a step back but leaves a legacy behind him. A genuinely passionate man, Hudson is the voice of football for many. Countless times, I’ve logged onto YouTube to watch his best bits. Yes, I’m watching Messi do something magic but having Hudson’s voice over it just adds to the experience. Ray, if you’re reading this, happy retirement. Enjoy being a fan, I just hope your family enjoys the metaphors when you scream them in your living room as much as we did hearing them in ours. Thank you.