Sandman’s Definitive Ratings – Celtic v Dundee Mifflin | OneFootball

SANDMAN’S DEFINITIVE RATINGS: CELTIC v DUNDEE MIFFLIN…

Martin O Neill, manager of Celtic in the dug out Celtic v Dundee, Scottish Premiership, Celtic Park, 03 December 2025. Photo Mark Runnacles IMAGO Shutterstock

3rd December 2025 Celtic Park, Scottish Premiership FCeltic versus Dundee Celtic interim manager Martin O Neill drags forward Celtic interim assistant manager Shaun Maloney to get acclaim at the end of his last match in charge. Photo David Young IMAGO

THE FRIENDLY GHOST – 7/10 – Kasper to the rescue. With the defence more vulnerable than recent times as they stretched us with punchy counters, it was up to the very last line to save the day. Like Sunday’s final whistle never blew – class in lime green, the big lhad pulling out the big stops in the big moments.

3rd December 2025 Celtic Park, Scottish Premiership, Celtic versus Dundee – Colby Donovan of Celtic on the ball. Photo IMAGO David Young

MELLOW YELLOW – 6.5/10 – The kid’s got game – with more first-team minutes he’s learning to raise his intensity levels. Appears to revel in a bit of a barny, which can cost him as with Sunday. But its not a bad thing for your guard dugs to be a bit rabid, and our pup’s also trying to add some finesse, as witnessed by a couple of peachy deliveries.

Marcelo Saracchi of Celtic is seen sitting on the pitch injured during the Premier League match between Celtic and Dundee at Celtic Park on December 03, 2025. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

SCRATCHY – 6.5/10 – Adventure over? The curse of the hammy strikes again, just as his energetic approach was raising both enjoyment and anticipation levels. Will the cartel extend their hitman’s stay in Europe? Will he get fit in time to plug a few holes in the Zombies come N’erday, before racing for a flight back to South America? Stay tuned; All this and more in the next episode of ‘Parkheid Narcos’…

Liam Scales of Celtic under pressure from Cameron Congreve of Dundee Celtic v Dundee, Scottish Premiership, Celtic Park, 3 December 2025. Photo IMAGO Mark Runnacles Shutterstock

OF JUSTICE – 5/10 – Liam, Liam, Liam… For that first half it was less Ginger Baresi and more ‘Wicklow Whit?’. Old habits bit back – worryingly lapse, casual, racking up the faults like Henman going down in every Wimbledon Quarter-Final he ever reached…Redemption of sorts came with a now-trademark deep defensive header in deadzone time. Let’s hope this blip’s the season’s anomaly.

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Auston Trusty of Celtic has a chance Celtic v Dundee, Scottish Premiership, 03 December 2025. Photo IMAGO Mark Runnacles Shutterstock

CRUSTY THE CLOWN – 6/10 – Appeared distracted, both by Simon Murray’s bug-ugliness traumatising his aesthetic values, and worried about Liam’s propensity for tomfoolery. However, it’s admirable in that his default is hoofing the ball the hell away from trouble. Which I found enormously comforting in the latter stages of the game.

3rd December 2025 Celtic Park, Scottish Premiership, Celtic versus Dundee – Ethan Hamilton of Dundee challenges for the ball with Callum McGregor of Celtic. Photo IMAGO David Young

CALMAC – 6.5/10 – The not-so-smooth flowing final third was the bumpy part of the skipper’s road tonight. Took control well and also partook in some fine keep-ball; just couldn’t find the combination to unlock the only chastity belt in Dundonian history. But when the chips were down and their tails up, his discipline kept us in check and secured the points.

3rd December 2025 Celtic Park, Scottish Premiership Celtic versus Dundee. Luke Graham of Dundee goes past Arne Engels of Celtic. Photo IMAGO David Young

THE TERMINATOR – 6.5/10 – Aggression, impact, pivotal – attributes we’ve seen from the gallus Belgian bhoy since Father Martin had a word over a pint of holy water. He continued to put himself about tonight, playing an unrewarding role, buffering the Dundee physicality like my dodgy stick trying laughably to maintain a Celtic TV away feed (Dear BBC licence crew, that’s a joke. I pay my licence dutifully because I feel it’s the only way to maintain civilisation – give you shanks free money to buy expensive artwork for your plush offices).

The transformation in the young gun’s performances will no doubt be put down to new confidence being instilled. No, that’s lazy journalism. All kids of his level of ability have innate confidence – it’s taken them through boys’ club systems right to the high pro levels. What managers like MON do is reinforce that confidence. Which strengthens belief, and boosts performance. Let’s hope Arne’s kept the old bhoy on speed-dial.

Luke McCowan of Celtic and Simon Murray of Dundee, Celtic v Dundee, Scottish Premiership, Celtic Park, 03 Dec 2025 Photo Mark Runnacles IMAGO Shutterstock

HIGHLAND TOFFEE – 5.5/10 – Luke’s drifting without Luke-ing dangerous; bit of a Negan night for him, wide and playing the wideo early on with some cultured passing. Unfortunately, like often this season, just when you’re hoping he’s going to step up a level, he fades.

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3rd December 2025 Celtic Park, Scottish Premiership. Celtic versus Dundee Luke Graham of Dundee passes the ball while Reo Hatate of Celtic closes him down. Photo IMAGO – David Young

HAKUNA HATATE – 7.5/10 MOTM – Another O’Neill miracle – heaven knows how Martin’s command of Japanese has made the required impact with Reo, but the evidence is plain; mercurial inventive, involved and hungry for action. Always our most dangerous tonight in creation or execution of the difficult pass; just a shame nobody around him was able to reach the same elevated frequency.

Daizen Maeda of Celtic scores the opening goal during the Scottish Premiership match between Celtic and Dundee at Celtic Park on December 03, 2025 (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

LORD KATSUMOTO – 7/10 – Daizen Maeda, Bushido master: When death manifests, Bushido is realised – choosing death whenever there is a choice between life and death; true courage and honour are found in facing death, in embracing its ferocity headlong – exactly what Daizen did when that big thick Dundee heid stood between him and glory.

The only crystallising thought in his mind at that moment was gyokusai shugi (nothing to do with fondly-remembered Johannes Edvaldsson, or Darius Wdowczyk, older Celts…) – the principle of honourable death.

3rd December 2025 Celtic Park, Scottish Premiership, Celtic versus Dundee Daizen Maeda of Celtic down after a clash of heads with Luke Graham of Dundee while scoring for 1-0 in the 11th minute Photo IMAGO David Young

He took it….Only to be resurrected ten minutes later as a true Kamikaze, bearing the headband of the Divine Wind, back like a tormenting ghost to rumble the Dundonian rear-guard until the final whistle, before which he nearly scored a ripper but for the keeper’s fingertips and a traitorous post. Not that Daizen will remember it anyway – he’s still asking around the ground-staff if the cursed Yankee battleship has sunk yet.

3rd December 2025 Celtic Park, Scottish Premiership, Celtic versus Dundee Cameron Congreve of Dundee takes on Yang Hyun-Jun of Celtic. Photo IMAGO David Young

YING – 5.5/10 – Jings Ying’s… Suffering from Luke’s fading affliction; we got the resurgent Yang performance for much of the opening spell – direct, penetrating runs, looking lively. But the edges were fraying as his touch and decision-making deserted him at crucial times. And he disappeared off radar and park somewhere in the second period.

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SUBS –

Kieran Tierney on the ball. Celtic v Dundee, Scottish Premiership, Celtic Park, 03 December 2025. Photo Mark Runnacles IMAGO Shutterstock

KATIE – 6/10 – An early entry and a tough half seen through pretty well; surging runs would probably fare better with a winger ahead in-form. But defensively, KT’s presence always brings more sense of security.

NEGAN – N/A – Bounding on to kill time, did so pretty well, and tried to kill their goalie. Yellowed for his efforts.

SAINT BERNARDO – N/A – Hey, that’s Paulo again! Blink and you’ll miss him. Let’s see if the new boss notices.

TUTANKHAMUN – N/A – Mikey J usually does well against Dundee around Xmas time. So it may have been a test.

TONY THE TIGER – N/A – Need something shored up? Throw on The Brickie.

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3rd December 2025 Celtic Park, Scottish Premiership , Celtic versus Dundee. Celtic interim manager Martin O’Neill waves to the crowd at the end of his last match in charge Photo IMAGO David Young

FATHER MARTIN AND SAMWISE GANGEE – 7/10 (9/10 for overall impact) – And with that, he was gone… The venerable Saint Martin takes his curtain call, thankfully eeking out another essential win, and departs into the care home sector with an enviable record that will surely see him sweep gloriously into the Paradise beyond Paradise when that time comes…He’s not leaving because he lost the dressing room – it’s just that he’s at an age when he sometimes forgets where it is.

Celtic interim manager Martin O’Neill at full time during the Scottish Premiership match between Celtic and Dundee at Celtic Park on December 03, 2025. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

There can be no doubt MON’s presence and influence – along with pocket elf-on-the-shelf, SOM (Shaun O’Maloney) – has turned the season around. And probably Mad Fozzie too; ‘Intensity, ya bassa’. Well, not so much turned, as lifted Celtic’s heid out of a puddle of its own vomit, slapped some colour into the cheeks, hosed it down and told it to stop feeling sorry for itself, get out there and do something worth cheering for.

And the response to his unexpected interjection since late October – remarkable, uplifting and invigorating as we now find ourselves competitive once more. His particular ability to subtly man-manage players across different generations has had some obvious effects on this squad. So we wish the departing inscrutable sage well, and can relish the season ahead, the burgeoning glory within reach once again, all due in no small part to the legend of MON.

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MIBBERY – 6.5/10 – Ooft, a latecomer storming up the rails in the final furlong, throwing a yellow at every Bhoy within his gaze, peepee tingling as Celtic tired and the opposition got wired for a late equaliser. No coincidence they were hanging on at Tannadice to see if we won, and the moment their MIB crew in Glasgow failed, the Zombies got their last-breath non-penalty penalty in the forty-first minute of added time; co-ordinated desperation at its most risible.

OVERALL – 6/10 – A title-winning three points. These are the games that matter. Embattled Celts, off-key, unable to slit the throats of an opponent they’ve caught in a chokehold. Big night, big expectations, big last-hurrah for a living legend; all recipes for disaster for Celtic of recent times. So to get the job done, close on one collective and evade another further, was all we could ask of the Footy Gods.

Elvis was in town and we were tuneless. The stands were increasingly frustrated and anxious as the players – not struggling, but not synching fully – toiled to finish off a side who must have begun to seem like a jinx; remember this same set of eleven jobbers took us to the cleaners in Dundee a month or two ago. Our Bhoys had to face up to opponents not fazed by reputation, with full recent knowledge of the sweet taste of a rare victory over them.

So it was a sticky wicket, to use an analogy from another sport – Bonnie Blue’s pastime of choice… But the points were ours and the advantages gained, by the time the goodbyes and gratitudes were shouted. Now the table’s set for Sunday dinner. And while their bloated old zombie hogs of a cousin club toil well below, the young pretenders from Edina snort their way along the M8 looking for scraps of glory…

There’s gonna be a carvery. Bring your daughters to the slaughter, Rugger Bears. Here, piggy-piggies…

Go Away Now

Sandman

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Celtic in the Eighties and Willie Fernie – Putting on the Style both by David Potter. Photo The Celtic Star

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