Sandman’s Definitive Ratings – Celtic v Gerogeorwell

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The Celtic Star

·6 October 2025

Sandman’s Definitive Ratings – Celtic v Gerogeorwell

SANDMAN’S DEFINITIVE RATINGS: CELTIC v GEORGEORWELL…

“Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen.” – Michael Jordan

Kelechi Iheanacho of Celtic celebrates scoring a penalty during the Scottish Premiership match between Celtic FC and Motherwell FC at Celtic Park, on 5th October 2025 Photo by Mark Runnacles IMAGO /Shutterstock

THE FRIENDLY GHOST – 7/10 – The goalie who shouldn’t be there – well, he is a ghost – makes a classic Schmeichel flailing-arm stop to keep us square and shut up the doubters, this one included. Takes a big character to reset the ‘keeping heid and go again after a bad one like Thursday but he’s got that in abundance right through the genes and we saw it today as he voiced his encouragement to drive a struggling team back into the game and on to a great win.

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TONY THE TIGER – 6/10 – There’s a bit of a rumble in the jungle, so throw in The Brickie. What you’ll get is 100% and more if he can find it. What you won’t get is consistent finesse, as clear when a heavy touch compounded our slackness and led to their equaliser. But when the chips were crashing to the table and the clock was bleeding fast, you get incessant Ralston on the wing looking for killer balls/supporting. You won’t lose a game for want of Tony’s input.

SCRATCHY – 6/10 – He’s a bit mad mental – the mad was some fine attacking contributions, the mental defensive errors out of the blue, saved by Kasper once, but no stopping the penalty Scratchy conceded with a clumsy stamp. He’s more positive than negative at this stage; need to maintain that ratio lest we see yet another erratic full-back sell the jerseys too many times.

Celtic v Motherwell Scottish Premiership 05/10/2025. Apostolos Stamatelopoulos 9 – Motherwell celebrates his leveler during the Scottish Premiership match between Celtic and Motherwell at Celtic Park, on 5 October 2025. Photo Raymond Davies PSI

OF JUSTICE – 7.5/10 MOTM – This is how it’s done, by the way, Playstation FIFA virgins: let’s explain in the Americanised lingo you crazy kids are so fond of – Play Of The Day goes to the Celtic’s Defensive Endbacker Liam, ‘The Ginger Baresi’ Scales. Shout it through a mic with echo if it makes you feel a bit more WWF…You won’t see a better-timed goal-saving sliding tackle this season or any other, probably; Exemplary defending, the physical prowess and the mental sharpness to get there and cover. Maintained his command for the remainder of the game, frequently supporting attack with sensible layoffs, and positioning to contain their troublesome athleticism on the counter. Haters, sit this one out.

GET CARTER – 7/10 – Good to see him get his hands full of rangy big opponents and come out scrapping and winning. A lot of physical battles keeps him tuned, I reckon, making for a solid display and a learning experience; occupied for the full match, put in a good one.

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CALMAC – 6.5/10 – Still not getting control of the game and still not getting the support required to exact that. But he’ll dig, dig, dig – because he’s the Celtic skipper and example is his to set. And he’ll feel good getting that over the line today because he was on his heels for much of it, having to circle back as their counter-press had very mobile brawn blocking his guile. I’ll say it again – get the right bodyguard in beside Calmac and we dominate.

HIGHLAND TOFFEE – 5.5/10 – Luke, a big chance, but Luke, a bit of a flop. This was made for his swashbuckling style but, as previously, the moment expectation hits, his form lets him down and the numerous impacts he’s made off the bench don’t get replicated when the jersey’s his to claim. Damn.

HAKUNA HATATE – 6/10 – Well, Reo looked energised and busy for a frantic first-half display. His play was alert and inventive – a bit of the old Reo we love. Something happened at the interval, though – maybe told to cut short an episode of Battle Of The Planets to get back out there? – but we missed his influence as he faded out of it.

Daizen Maeda of Celtic scores a late goal during the Scottish Premiership match between Celtic FC and Motherwell FC at Celtic Park, on 5th October 2025. Photo Mark Runnacles IMAGO/Shutterstock

LORD KATSUMOTO – 7/10 – Ha! Finally, Daizen-down-the-middle pays off once more! The much-maligned wantaway hero adds to his Celtic legend with a crucial winner which will be fondly remembered as a spectacular double-cousins-sickener. Only Daizen, with the insight of a Roshi, would diving-heider a ball 4 millimetres off the turf, but that he did and lifted the day to ecstasy. Around his moment he’d blown hot and cold but never petulant; always buzzing them. And even to the bitter end he was conceding tactical free-kicks, standing over them, and eyeballing the MIB as he took a card. Arigato, Sensei.

TUTANKHAMUN – 5.5/10 – Flattered to deceive, ultimately, but did look like there was more to come until he was benched and we lost that trickery which is more likely to open tired defences than get the better of early, energetic legs. Bit baffling, but not the only thing.

Kelechi Iheanacho of Celtic scores a penalty during the Scottish Premiership match between Celtic FC and Motherwell FC at Celtic Park, on 5th October 2025 Photo by Mark Runnacles IMAGO /Shutterstock

ITCHYCOO PARK – 6.5/10 – The striker we need. Also, the striker we might need to score winners late in games but doesn’t yet see them out…But you can see the class in his natural target-man play. Movement and linkage is what’s required; if he had pace he’d be devastating. Slotted in that penalty with a wily striker’s instinctive change of placement, putting the keeper in the North Curve. Just get him fit and keep him engaged, he’ll score almost as much as Jamesy on a Shmagaluf weekender.

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SUBS –

Benjamin Nygren of Celtic celebrates scoring during the Scottish Premiership match between Celtic FC and Motherwell FC at Celtic Park, on 5th October 2025. Photo by Mark Runnacles/Shutterstock

NEGAN – 6.5/10 – Give the man a baseball bat wrapped in barbed-wire and stick him on to batter the Lanarkshire Zombies. That was the remit. Took him three swipes to bloody them enough that we could later apply the finish but fair play to another in the firing line for criticism recently; he was all attack and destroy and we needed that. Half of what they have is now his. Join The Saviours.

KATIE – N/A – He’ll always bust a gut but I thought he looked knackered from the moment he arrived this afternoon. At least he gets a fortnight’s rest now… Ehhh…

BALIKMORY – 5.5/10 – Well done again on sneaking onto the park via the laundry room; looking a little more like a player now than a prankster. Still to convince anyone, but maybe a slow starter? *Edit #1 (too busy rolling about like big wean, hadn’t seen replay): sprightly and sharp to take Arne’s pass and set up the winner.

Celtic v Motherwell Scottish Premiership 05/10/2025. James Forrest 49 – Celtic arrives ahead of the match between Celtic and Motherwell at Celtic Park on 5 October 2025. Photo Raymond Davies PSI

JAMESY – 6/10 – Yes, a bit of verve from The Flash – wing-play that pinned them back and had them in turmoil as we gravitated to Jamesy like lonely Prestwick ladies at the last dance.

THE TERMINATOR – 6/10 – At least Arne’s looking angry these days – nice MMA move to get himself booked. Now we need the ire translated into some footballing quality. *Edit #2 (too busy rolling about like big wean, hadn’t seen replay): beautiful slotted ball into Balikmory to set up the winer. THAT’S what I mean by quality.

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Celtic Manager Brendan Rodgers during the Scottish Premiership match between Celtic FC and Motherwell FC at Celtic Park, on 5th October 2025. Photo Mark Runnacles IMAGO/Shutterstock

THE NOTAPRODDYGAL – 6.5/10 – Some say he’s a lucky manager. I say he’s a flaming lucky manager. Crushed the songbird kid’s confidence on Thursday, buried it today by leaving him on his XBox. Hooked the goalscoring striker and won’t play the other strikers we’ve got waiting and hungry to impress, for… Reasons. Threw Daizen down the middle in a ploy that hasn’t worked all season, as we fell into a chuck-it-at-them-and-see-if-it-sticks show, but came up smelling of Gucci Essence Pour Homme.

I’m not buying the optics and the platitudes and the ‘elite’ analysis – he got away with one as much as CIA sharpshooter Never-Fail-Freddy, stood on a grassy knoll in Dallas in 1963 with a smoking gun amid chaos, saying to approaching cops: “Might’ve been that fella hingin’ oot the book repository windae…”

MIBBERY – 6/10 – Bit of a choker there, eh? Cream-yer-kecks moment for the VAR pen; a clip which they’d uploaded to porn hub within seconds of it being scored, categorised under ‘Goatworriers Delight’ Few dodgy break-up fouls given and outrageous impediment of Celtic players ignored – Daizen on a breakaway; nothing to see there… But, ultimately, even with the begrudged extra seven minutes, we’d ruined their weekend within three. And Falkirk compounded that when they got into the dressing room. Har-de-har.

A banner held up in the crowd by Celtic fans during the Scottish Premiership match between Celtic FC and Motherwell FC at Celtic Park, on 5th October 2025. Photo by Mark Runnacles IMAGO/Shutterstock

OVERALL – 7/10 – That was a good day. Didn’t look like it for much of the overcast sabbath but the sun shone on the Hoops eventually. Not an easy proposition this new claret and vomit side; drilled, disciplined, with added athleticism to counter you and run the legs off your hussled midfield. We’d handled ‘Well quite well (one for punned-alliteration goofballs there…) but an air of threat hung around the organised way they move up the park. And it came to pass in a costly way, twice.

Luckily their goalkeeper is on fentanyl for nerves and contributed to our resurgence with a delightful slipped pass to Negan. After that, the momentum was with the Bhoys and you hoped it was going to be another late-show classic. Credit to The Hoops for the drama and the belief. Looks like we might have properly woken up to the fact we’re in a fight for our right to party.

Go Away Now

Sandman

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Celtic in the Eighties and Willie Fernie – Putting on the Style both by David Potter. Photo The Celtic Star

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Celtic 3-0 St Mirren, Scottish Premier League, Celtic Park, 15 May 1982.Celtic captain Danny McGrain collects the championship trophy as Roy Aitken looks on. Photo The Celtic Wiki

Danny McGrain signing copies of Celtic in the Eighties by David Potter. Photo: Celtic Star Books

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Celtic in the Eighties by David Potter. Out now on Celtic Star Books. Click on image above to order.