The Celtic Star
·26 January 2026
Sandman’s Definitive Ratings – Lesser Hades v Celtic

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·26 January 2026

“Rather fail with honour than succeed by fraud” – Sophocles

Kasper Schmeichel arrives at Tynecastle. Hearts v Celtic, 25 January 2025. Photo Vagelis Georgariou.
THE FRIENDLY GHOST – 8/10 MOTM – “He’s fat, he’s round, he’s worth a million pound…” Or maybe tens of millions if we get the season over the line and into the Champions League. Pips Liam for MOTM due to his instinctive brilliance, saving two certainties to The Ginger Baresi’s one. Still won’t be enough to quell the haters, and their petted lips will be fluttering with angst as they realise but for the Schmeichel family’s finest goalkeeper we’d be out of Europe and out of a title race.

Kieran Tierney arrives at Tynecastle. Hearts v Celtic, 25 January 2025. Photo Vagelis Georgariou.
KATIE – 5/10 – Doubt KT would have started if we had a single fit left-back available to give him a breather. As it was, he coped manfully, obviously uncomfortable, being out-jumped and out-muscled for their equaliser. Thursday killed him for yesterday.

Julian Araujo of Celtic celebrates during the Scottish Premiership match between Heart of Midlothian and Celtic at Tynecastle Park on January 25, 2026. (Photo by Zak Mauger/Getty Images)
AZTECO – 5.5/10 – Game enough, and was in a right tussle with their most potent attacking player. Got overwhelmed at times due to lack of proper cover, outnumbered when it should have been the other way about. But, like KT, he coped, though unable to offer any attacking option.

Liam Scales and Benjamin Nygren. Hearts v Celtic, 25 January 2025. Photo Vagelis Georgariou.
OF JUSTICE – 7.5/10 – When the chips are down, he’s delivering. And there was plenty salt ‘n’ sauce on them yesterday to sour the palate. Manful resistance through the ten-man siege, stunner of a goal-saver at 1-1, looking the most assured outfielder and defying all detractors by holding Celtic together when other’s heads had gone. Yet again, thanks be to Liam…

Auston Trusty walks off after being shown a red card. Martin O’Neill looks on. Hearts v Celtic, 25 January 2025. Photo Vagelis Georgariou.
CRUSTY THE CLOWN – 4/10 – The hero of exotic spaghetti Bolognese becomes the villain of domestic macaroni, narrowly escaping catastrophe as he worked himself into a fusilli, gifting chances and ending up penne-alised by the corrupt MIB’s for a scurrilous red after an innocuous but clumsy intervention. After the delicious heights of Thursday, what the fetuccine was that, big ghuy?

Callum McGregor of Celtic celebrates during the Scottish Premiership match between Heart of Midlothian and Celtic at Tynecastle Park on January 25, 2026. (Photo by Zak Mauger/Getty Images)
CALMAC – 3/10 – The skipper’s worst gig of the season, by far. Never seen him so off the pace, out of sorts and critically unable to really knit any combination of passes in the middle. Overrun and dismissed too easily by lesser players.

Arne Engels of Celtic and Marc Leonard of Hearts contend for an aerial ball during the Scottish Premiership match between Hearts and Celtic at Tynecastle Park on January 25, 2026. (Photo by Zak Mauger/Getty Images)
THE TERMINATOR – 3.5/10 – About on par with his captain; expected to take up the mantle and offer some guile from deep, but despite appearing game for a physical contest he, too, shouldn’t have been second-best to most disputed balls; in particular being out manoeuvred by his runner who scored their opener.

Benjamin Nygren of Celtic celebrates a goal during the Scottish Premiership match between Hearts and Celtic at Tynecastle Park on January 25, 2026. (Photo by Zak Mauger/Getty Images)
NEGAN – 5/10 – What an absolutely splendid strike. And then… Then the sum of hee-haw. A total contradiction of a player; incredible instinct for scoring, incredible hapless anonymity outwith that knack. “Thou shalt sign a Swede in summer ’25 who will be top-scorer in the League by February ’26,” foretold the prophet, and we’d have expected a generational King Of Kings worth his weight in gold. We got a conundrum valued in Chicken McNuggets. Flaming snake-oil salesmen…

Daizen Maeda of Celtic during the Scottish Premiership match between Hearts and Celtic at Tynecastle Park on January 25, 2026. (Photo by Zak Mauger/Getty Images)
LORD KATSUMOTO – 4.5/10 – Damn, Daizen. Another who looked like he was suffering from Euro-exertion, but still put himself about admirably enough to get involved in the second, even if his touch was gone and his peep a bit off full-whistle.

Tomas Cvancara in action at Tynecastle. Hearts v Celtic, 25 January 2025. Photo Vagelis Georgariou.
CARAVAN – 7/10 – One of the few. A big unit with some pace in those telescopic pins. Very promising second-half once he’d settled in and got about battering the Minis’ goons at the back. Be nice to see what he can do in a side that gives him some actual service, seeing as he still managed to pop one off the bar and create our second with a terrific bit of play. Took a yellow too, as is the right of passage for any debutant Bhoy; at least he earned it well by trying to rearrange one of the uglies’ facial deformity; “We have Mr.Potato Head in Czechia too…”

Tomas Cvancara, Benjamin Nygren and Hyunjun Yang of Celtic celebrate during the Scottish Premiership match between Heart of Midlothian and Celtic at Tynecastle Park on January 25, 2026. (Photo by Zak Mauger/Getty Images)
YING – 5/10 – Well, the game little fella got himself up and in there for a sweet tap-in, but most of his day seemed to be giving fouls away with any and every attempt to win back possession. However, just how many of those tackles were worthy of a free-kick is a case for Mulder and Scully…
SUBS –

Sebastian Tounekti arrives at Tynecastle. Hearts v Celtic, 25 January 2025. Photo Vagelis Georgariou.
TUTANKHAMUN – N/A – Got on an kind of quibbled about, not really favoured with much hope given the circumstances.

Anthony Ralston arrives at Tynecastle. Hearts v Celtic, 25 January 2025. Photo Vagelis Georgariou.
TONY THE TIGER – N/A – Tony at left-back? Flaming hell, Martin. What was wrong with Tony right, or central too, and young TALL Colby at the left spot he’s so admirably coped with before? Don’t know. Maybe to counter their muscle coming in from that side on set-plays? Worked once when he won a great deep header from a corner, backfired when his height wasn’t enough at the back post for the knock-down at their second.

Dane Murray attempts to block the Hearts late equaliser. Hearts v Celtic, 25 January 2025. Photo Vagelis Georgariou.
GREAT – N/A – Back on the crime scene, mysteriously. And escaped another conviction with a panicked, suicidal sky-ball thanks to the linesman’s flag. Unconvincing.

Martin O’Neill at Tynecastle. Hearts v Celtic, 25 January 2025. Photo Vagelis Georgariou.
FATHER MARTIN AND SAMWISE GANGEE – 6.5/10 – Two arguments here – that he/they failed to get a tune out of a side primed to set about a title-winning run, or that they DID get a tune out of a jaded team in the last type of match they wanted after Thursday’s epic, sapping slugfest. Given the nature of the performance, probably the latter – a case further strengthened by the red card which would have spelled doom and capitulation but for the mindset MON instills; enough of a force of will to get through to the final whistle despite obvious adversity.









































