Sterile, Clueless, and On the Beach: Everton Player Ratings

Tottenham Hotspur 1 - 0 Everton

Tyrique George in despair at Tottenham Hotspur

(Photo by Alex Pantling/Getty Images)

If you wanted a microcosm of Everton’s entire campaign, this absolute chore of a football match was it. On a day that required an ounce of attacking intent to sign off the season with some dignity, David Moyes’s side delivered a tactical masterclass in how to pass sideways, look thoroughly knackered, and threaten absolutely nobody.

João Palhinha’s goal just before the break was all it took for a nerve-wracked Spurs side to take the points, but truth be told, they barely had to break a sweat. The Blues offered zero service to Thierno Barry, the midfield pairing looked like they were running through wet cement, and the tactical rigidity on display from the dugout was nothing short of exasperating until the last 15 minutes. By then, it was far to late, the travelling Toffees — as usual, the only world-class component of this football club — deserved infinitely better than this lazy, "on-the-beach" surrender.

Here is the verdict from a miserable afternoon in London.

The Player Ratings

Jordan Pickford — 5

Hardly had an avalanche of saves to make, but stood no chance with Palhinha's strike. His distribution was back to its erratic worst, routinely humping the ball into the stands or directly to a white shirt.

Jake O’Brien — 3

Got himself booked after just 12 minutes with a clumsy challenge and looked terrified of picking up a second thereafter. Constantly dragged out of position by Destiny Udogie and Mathys Tel. Hooked on the hour mark to save him from a red card, and frankly, it was a mercy killing.

James Tarkowski — 4

Supposed to be the rock of this backline, but looked utterly leaden-footed today. Got a late yellow card out of pure frustration. The lack of clean sheets in the final stretch of this season rests heavily on how easily our senior centre-backs are being turned by any striker with a modicum of pace.

Michael Keane — 3

At this stage of his Everton career, playing Michael Keane feels like a weekly social experiment designed to test the fanbase's sanity. Zero presence, zero tackles won, and stood off his man like he was social distancing. A complete passenger.

Vitalii Mykolenko — 2

Offered absolutely nothing going forward. Played with a frustrating level of timidity, consistently passing backward to Keane or Tarkowski rather than taking a gamble down the flank.

Tim Iroegbunam — 5

To his credit, he tried to inject some energy into a moribund midfield, but he’s being asked to do the heavy lifting for three men while the veterans around him spectate. Chased shadows for long spells before being taken off late.

James Garner — 4

Needs to stop pointing at space and start dropping into it. Supposed to keep us ticking over, but completely lost the midfield battle to Palhinha and Bentancur. Sideways, backwards, repeat.

Kiernan Dewsbury-Hall — 4

Bought to provide a creative spark, but the spark plug is completely fouled. His passing was loose, his positioning was isolated, and he looked entirely out of ideas long before he was hauled off in the 84th minute.

Merlin Röhl — 5

Showed a few bright sparks in the first half with some tidy footwork, but he is fundamentally not a natural winger. Moyes is actively draining the lad’s confidence by isolating him on the flank in a setup this negative. Subbed on 62 minutes.

Iliman Ndiaye — 5

Another typical performance from the jinking ball juggler whpo tried to make things happen, danced out of tight spaces, but he’s playing a completely different sport to the rest of his teammates. No one is ever on his wavelength.

Thierno Barry — 4

Feasted on an absolute starvation diet. He was starved of service, isolated against Kevin Danso and Micky van de Ven, and cut a thoroughly miserable figure. Hard to blame the lad when the tactical game plan is to launch hopeful 50-yard punts at his head.

The Substitutes

Harrison Armstrong (on for O'Brien, 62') — 6

Came on into a broken tactical system. Chased hard, but the game was already dead.

Tyrique George (on for Röhl, 62') — 7

Had a superb effort on goal, they only Everton player to really try and score. I love this lad and just hate the fact that Moyes has tried to break his spirit by keeping him on the bench.

Beto (on for Barry, 84') — 5

Too late to make an impact.

Charly Alcaraz (on for Dewsbury-Hall, 84') — 6

Another bizarrely late sub from the manager -- but he has so much desire... why was he not on so much earlier?

Séamus Coleman (on for Iroegbunam, 84') — 5

A late run-out on the final day, with the match already done and dusted, and he shows what he's still got in the quiver with a great cross that Alcaraz just couldn't jump high enough for.

The Manager

David Moyes — 0

A textbook tactical disaster class. To roll out the same tired, passive, rigid blueprint after the disasters against Sunderland, West Ham and Liverpool is an insult to the fans who paid good money to travel.

His reluctance to trust the youth from the start, his predictable 84th-minute substitutions, and his complete inability to construct a cohesive attacking plan shows a manager who hasn't evolved a single bit. A morose finish to a deeply frustrating campaign.

Reader Comments (22)

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Ian Jones 3 Posted 24/05/2026 at 18:36:37

Headline sums it up. Moyes saying he'd do what he could to help West Ham. That went well.

Karl Jones 4 Posted 24/05/2026 at 18:38:12

Any club with an ounce of ambition would have a new manager in place, and be rid of at least half of that slow, ponderous ageing squad, by the start of next season otherwise I can see a return to fighting relegation as the mighty Coventry and Hull go sailing past.

Gerard Carey 5 Posted 24/05/2026 at 18:39:05

Ratings being kind!!!!. When you have a dinosaur for a manager what do you expect. If hes still here in August, it will be exactly the same next season.

Gavin Johnson 6 Posted 24/05/2026 at 18:40:44

Lets face it. Most of us barring Moyes knew we wouldn't get anything when we saw the starting XI with Moyes picking 2 CB's who leak goals for fun.

Mike Keating 7 Posted 24/05/2026 at 18:41:13

Apologies to West Ham and my son who went to the game. What a gutless performance

Tom Bowers 8 Posted 24/05/2026 at 18:43:20

Below mid-table, 13th.spot, only 13 wins and no wins in last six games. Moyes will be happy with that. Today, no shots on goal for eighty minutes. Bloody awful. How many points did they drop to teams finishing below them. A really poor statistic.

If the Freidkin goup don't change things now then they will be fighting relegation next season with this bunch.

Jeff Spiers 9 Posted 24/05/2026 at 18:45:42

Mike. The players should apologise to the away supporters

Neil Lawson 10 Posted 24/05/2026 at 18:45:51

Mike and Michael. You berated me earlier for my pessimistic outlook, but you have just delivered the perfect assessment and assassination of Moyes in your post. I rest my case, M'lud and retire again from ToffeeWeb.

Jack Convery 11 Posted 24/05/2026 at 18:49:27

Has he gone yet ?

Jay Harris 12 Posted 24/05/2026 at 18:49:34

I have defended Moyes all season believing that we could do a lot worse.

But after watching that load of shite against a team that haven’t kept a clean sheet in 18 games and have only won 2 home games all season I have completely lost the last remains of any faith in the man.

To keep Barry on for 80 minutes and not give George a chance until it was too late is borderline lunacy.

Moyes has said he just wants 1 or 2 quality players rather than a bunch.

For that alone he needs sacking.

Rob Hooton 15 Posted 24/05/2026 at 19:26:31

Jay, I also defended Moyes for long periods this season and feel like a right twit for it. He’s as much a dinosaur as Dyche and Allardyce are considered, his use of subs, youth, and the squad are all shameful.

Ratings are generous, though Armstrong, George and Alcaraz showed why Moyes needs sacking when they came on and are fair ratings.

Sean Kearns 16 Posted 24/05/2026 at 19:29:55

Sunderland got into Europe but according to Moyes and many on here “we might not be ready” 😂 😂 why are a bloody championship team any more ready than a team who has been in the Premier League since its founding in 1992. We are being sold shite and the Americans only care about the dough. End of.

Nick Page 17 Posted 24/05/2026 at 19:31:39

Only Everton would keep an absolute dinosaur like Moyes when two of the most promising (and young) managers in the PL have stated they are leaving their respective clubs. If I was Friedkin I’d be all over these two. If we don’t rid ourselves of Moyes, then the Friedkins are only happy with surviving in the league.

Jamie Clancy 18 Posted 24/05/2026 at 19:33:12

Times up pal. Moyes has got to go now. He doesn't even have the excuse of a big injury list. You can accept boring football when your getting results. He's not doing it.

It looks like the club is happy with a safe mid table bottom half finish every season going by Kinnear's comments. Dreading next season. What a bore fest.

Sean Kearns 19 Posted 24/05/2026 at 19:34:54

If Jake starts at RB and Barry plays any part of our first game next season, then I’m going to boycott the entire season. I just can’t watch that every week

Pete Jeffries 20 Posted 24/05/2026 at 19:39:46

Excellent summary Michael. My other view is that when Grealish was stamped on - have you seen modern boots, ( or should I say slippers) no protection - he was always the main target because opponents feared him. Then the decline started KDH had no partner to set things up and there was never any meaningful end product up front. Big changes needed but probably no money from the yanks next season

Jim Bennings 21 Posted 24/05/2026 at 19:44:38

We need a massive squad overhaul this summer otherwise I wouldn't be at all shocked to see us in the position Spurs found themselves in today.

The manager for me is seriously up for discussion this summer, I think if TFG are serious about this football club then they will be asking whether or not Moyes is right choice to progress this club now or whether like myself, and many, feel this season we have actually regressed from last season's ending.

That was truly shocking that was today, abysmal and embarrassing at times watching us for 85 minutes try to work out how to breach one of the worst defences in the league, not until George's late shot did we threaten a fragile Tottenham Hotspur team.

I'd be ashamed of that end to the season if I was at the club, but I'm not, so I assumed it will be normal service resumed in August with the same old tripe wheeled out, Mykolenko left back, O'Brien right back, probably one of or both Keane and Tarkowski in defence.

This is Everton, what's the Latin for Nothing Changes?

Jay Lewis 23 Posted 24/05/2026 at 19:53:43

If I had a dark coloured bedsheet to paint Moyes Out! On it (I only have white paint) it would be on the wall of Bramley Moore dock tonight. He needs to go like in the next few days, sick of him

Ian Wilkins 24 Posted 24/05/2026 at 19:58:51

Generous for Pickford I think. Misjudging crosses, poor punching, nearly threw one in his own net, came out of box to head, got it horribly wrong; poor kicking. Thought he had a mistake ridden poor day. Rohl also generous, may be in wrong position but he’s slow and ponderous, easily dispossessed, poor passing, poor game I thought. The only positives came from the subs really. George, Armstrong, Alcaraz all positive impact and good.