Steve Mandanda lays bare the void after retirement in new book | OneFootball

Steve Mandanda lays bare the void after retirement in Les jours d’après, out on 13 May with Flammarion. He announced his retirement last year in L'Équipe at 40, after a final spell at Rennes, having played a Marseille record 613 matches in 14 years and earned 35 France caps.

He recalls months when little had flavour, long days with no plan, and the feeling of being unemployed on the sofa. He wondered what he would become and whether he had quit too soon.

He describes the loss of structure, with no schedule, meetings or rhythm. Above all he missed the pitch and the group, the posts ahead of him, the dressing room, armband, glances, words and jokes.

Guillaume Hoarau, who had faced the same transition, reassured him and urged him to set a simple programme and small goals. He says he put on three or four kilos, reached for fizzy drinks, then forced a light routine to stem the solitude.

Progress followed, though fragility lingered, including a wet November day when he did nothing and felt it return. He accepts his ideal reconversion, immediate work inside a structure with on-the-job learning, is not the route he will take.

A year on he says he feels calmer and free of the darkest thoughts, though the life of the group still aches. Patrice Evra told him he had felt the same emptiness after stopping. For Mandanda, the days after mean accepting the end without sinking and remembering the good.

Source: L'Équipe