Watching Scotland qualify was like hallucinating a pornographic cartoon… | OneFootball

As I was peeled off the ceiling following Scotland’s win, I reflected on the scale of the achievement.

What was once commonplace – qualifying for a World Cup – has been 28 years in the making. If you’re in your mid-30s, already grizzled and cynical, you won’t remember the last time Scotland qualified.

Scotland’s curse has long been to have great players but to underperform and be left clinging on to moments of brilliance, largely by Archie Gemmill, as embodied in Trainspotting. Such orgasmic moments are all that has sustained the Tartan Army over the decades, despite having many brilliant players.

And all of this is carried to every game like a handicap weighing down a horse, leaving Scotland to beat both the opposition and themselves to get anywhere.

Their mix of superstars and Souttar overcame the odds to win their group from being third seeds in an unbelievable scenario seemingly designed to rip your heart clean out of your chest. To see the phlegmatic, hang-dog Steve Clarke joyfully dancing like your drunk uncle at a wedding was a sign of how momentous this night truly was.

Paul McDevitt in the mailbox has perpetuated a lie by saying ‘I am not one for ‘everything was better when…’ as Johnny Nic is,’ an idea I have specifically and clearly rejected several times – and have even written a book decrying – but in this case it was actually better in the past for Scotland.

The same mixture of hubris and underperformance that has always dogged them appeared to have returned on Saturday against Greece in an awful performance. It seemed memories of David Narey’s goal v Brazil and Archie’s against the Netherlands would have to drag the Scots through the hard times again. The inevitable reality of failure, even into added time on Tuesday night, was going to return once more.

If you’ve ever been in an altered state and stared disbelievingly at the wall as you hallucinate a pornographic cartoon, last night was like that. You couldn’t believe what you were seeing. And to finish it with a lob from the halfway line was astonishing. This was phenomenal stuff and, if I know Scottish cultural ways, will follow Archie into the archives to be pulled out every time they want to assuage the latest defeat.