World Cup bronze final: ‘The worst game to play’ is a nonsense and should be binned | OneFootball

If the old adage is true, then losers are forgotten. But at the World Cup, FIFA continue to peddle a fixture where the majority of fans would struggle to recall the winners.

England and France must recover from their crushing semi-final disappointment in time to do battle for the instantly forgotten honour of taking bronze at the World Cup.

England have lost a couple of these nonsense affairs before, and we vaguely recall Holland ‘winning’ in 2014 only because Brazil still looked like they were stumbling away from a car crash having been rear-ended by Germany. The outcome of any other semi-final losers meeting, including the last one, was a mystery before looking them up just now.

It was a blissful kind of ignorance. Even if the human brain has a virtually limitless capacity for long-term memory, any storage at all is still wasted on a match that holds less significance than the Community Shield.

Many players and managers care not one bit for it. “I think this match should never be played,” said Louis van Gaal when Netherlands we obliged in 2014.

“The honest thing is it’s not a game any team wants to play in,” admitted Gareth Southgate in 2018.

Morocco coach Walid Regragui concurred in 2022: “Yes, we are thinking about our FIFA ranking but it is quite difficult for us and also for you I guess as journalists because it is not really an important game is it, honestly speaking?”

Managers can recognise that their players are shattered  – physically and mentally – and just want to go home, which is hardly unreasonable. The same goes for the coaches. The three or four extra days that the England and France players are kicking their heels in the USA really could be better spent, especially when many stars are absolutely knackered, all the while their clubs are a week into pre-season.

The apathy and general disinterest in a game to decide who finishes as second loser has been rife for years. The European Championships canned the play-off in 1980 and not once since has anyone missed it.

The idea is in direct contrast to the principle of a knockout tournament. The importance at a World Cup is supposed to increase with each game. From the last-16, it’s winner stays on. As Van Gaal noted: “In a tournament, you shouldn’t have players play a match for third or fourth place. There’s only one award that counts, and that’s being world champion.”

When, unlike at the Olympics, there is little merit and no interest in third place, what justifiable reason is there for continuing with such a meaningless affair?

Some overachieving third-place finishers may contest that it is a hollow triumph. Croatia were chuffed to win it at their first ever World Cup in 1998 and so too were Sweden four years before. But their legacy would not have suffered had they not been made to play Netherlands and Bulgaria respectively.

The bronze final good for only one thing: individual stat padding.

Davor Suker was happy to go through the motions at France ’98, as were Toto Schillaci in 1990 and Thomas Muller in 2010; all three scored goals in the third-place play-off that earned them the World Cup’s Golden Boot.

Runners up Tomas Skuhravy, Gabriel Batistuta, Christian Vieri and David Villa will surely argue that not all World Cup goals are equal. The approach to play-off matches is akin to that of exhibition games, and that seems to be reflected in the defending.

The last 10 World Cup finals tournaments, back to Mexico ’86, have produced an average of 2.5 goals per game. The average number of goals in third-place play-off matches during that same 40-year period is 3.8.

There is no asterisk next to Suker, Schillaci and Muller’s names on the list of Golden Boot winners, as there won’t be if Kylian Mbappe fills his boots against England’s demoralised defence – but perhaps there should be. Just as it should be noted that Just Fontaine’s all-time tournament record of 13 goals includes four in the 1958 play-off that ended 6-3 to France. Without those, Lionel Messi could be on for another record.

Despite the increase in goals traditionally on offer, few fans would miss the bronze final or even notice it was gone if FIFA followed UEFA’s lead and abandon them. There appears little likelihood of that happening, however, while the governing body can make a few quid from another game to sell and two more halves for Gianni Infantino to get his nefarious mug on TVs across the world for those with nothing better to do with their Saturday night. So players and coaches are stuck with them.

For the most part, England and France have spoiled us over the last month but they must now be running on fumes – the Three Lions especially – and neither deserves to return home on the back of two defeats, the last imposed on one ‘B’ team by another.

The penultimate match of the World Cup is by a huge distance its least important. How can that be logical? Just bin it.