Ex-Man Utd pundit picking on ‘liability’ Bruno Fernandes is too ridiculous to ignore

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·14 de marzo de 2026

Ex-Man Utd pundit picking on ‘liability’ Bruno Fernandes is too ridiculous to ignore

As a rule, an opinion on any subject from anyone who does not rate Bruno Fernandes is to be dismissed. But we simply must address the latest nonsense from Paul Parker.

Ex-Manchester United players seem to queue up these days to offer an edgy take or two, and Parker is no different. Fortunately, try as he definitely does, the former full-back doesn’t have the same platform as the likes of Paul Scholes or Roy Keane. So he’s much easier to ignore. To the point that his evisceration of Fernandes almost passed us by.

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And, really, we wish it had.

Parker, speaking to Goal in association with what we assume is a foreign bookmaker but we’re too wary to click the link to see for sure, branded Fernandes “brainless”, a “liability” and a “so-called playmaker”.

Sorry, but this has to be seen to be believed…

“A lot of people are so blinkered about Bruno. I think you have to look at the longer game and ask the question, can you go and really compete for a league with someone like Bruno?”

Yes, Paul. Yes you can. If you had other players around Bruno on a similar plane to Bruno, and not some of the tosh he’s been made to play alongside for much of his six years at Old Trafford. But go on, if you must…

“He’s been given that role now where he’s further forward, but the problem is that he’s a liability unless you make the game perfect for him. “Because when you haven’t got the ball, he just can’t get around people. He won’t tackle, always chasing back and just the fact of his ill discipline without the ball. He just wants to chase and chase and chase. He will not stand in a position and believe that’s good enough, he thinks he’s got to chase everything and be seen chasing.”

No, Paul. He won’t “stand in a position and think that’s good enough” because, well, do we really have to explain? Damn you, Bruno and your desire to always chase back.

Somehow, the lad that “won’t tackle” has attempted the second-highest number of them in the United squad this season and won the third-highest amount.

But maybe Parker is on to something. Perhaps Bruno should stand still and wait for opponents to come to him to be tackled. Spurs seem to be trialling that at the moment, we should check in to see how they are getting on.

Sorry, Paul. We interrupted you.

“I think Matheus Cunha would give you more with and without the ball, yes definitely. But people will say look at the goals Bruno’s made this season. At this time, I think you can go and do that, but you’d look at him in the last few games where you’re looking for your captain and your so-called playmaker to do something for you and he just doesn’t do enough.”

Well, Fernandes has either scored or assisted all three of United’s goals in the last two games.

And, yes, Paul. People probably will look at the goals Bruno has made this season. We tend to find it a useful metric for judging footballers. Especially “so-called playmakers”.

Enlighten us, Paul. At what point might Fernandes be legitimately described as a playmaker? His case looks quite solid to us…

14 Premier League assists this season, double the number of anyone not named Rayan Cherki.
Only two players in Europe’s top 10 leagues have more assists this season – Michael Olise and Federico Dimarco.
Last month, Fernandes became the second-fastest United player to reach 200 goal involvements in the Premier League era behind only Wayne Rooney.
He is currently one short of matching David Beckham’s club record of 15 Premier League assists in 1999/00.

We could go on, but Paul is piping up…

“You look at the Newcastle game, giving away the penalty was needless.”

Oh, we’re back on the tackling thing, are we…

“There was no need for him to be making that challenge, on a player who was looking for it. A player who doesn’t necessarily beat people with the ball at his feet in Anthony Gordon. Gordon was looking for a penalty. He tried it again later. Brainless.”

Poor Anthony Gordon, catching strays there.

Look, we know we shouldn’t get annoyed by this level of nonsense, nor should we give Parker the reaction that he is being paid (in God knows what currently) to prompt.

But if you are determined to sh*t talk Fernandes, why not pick out a legitimate criticism?

Is he a great captain? He waves his arms around a lot and gets easily frustrated when those around him struggle to match his quality. We would suggest the stick he gets for that is misplaced but, sure, there is a debate to be had.

Beyond that, in the form he consistently shows, Fernandes should be beyond reproach. Especially from ex-players losing the battle for relevancy and credibility.