How Benjamin Sesko’s ‘drastic measures’ can ‘fix’ football after move which will ‘trigger outrage’

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·3 de marzo de 2026

How Benjamin Sesko’s ‘drastic measures’ can ‘fix’ football after move which will ‘trigger outrage’

Prepare for your ‘outrage’ to be well and truly ‘triggered’ by some woke, ‘tradition-defying’ FIFA nonsense. Get Benjamin Sesko on it.

It is a busy old Mediawatch because precisely no-one is happy about the current state of football.

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And now even the actual calendar is making a mockery of ‘tradition’.

If it ain’t broke…

There is a definite theme in the football media on Tuesday, probably unrelated to Arsenal still being top of the Premier League instead of crumbling under the pressure like everyone wanted and expected by now.

The theme? That football, dear reader, is a bit rubbish. Arne Slot says so. And just look:

‘How can football’s lawmakers fix the corner chaos?’ – BBC Sport.

‘DAVE BASSETT: Set-piece wrestling is spoiling the game for fans and if football doesn’t do something about it, we will all die of boredom – here’s three ways to fix it’ – Daily Mail.

‘The great corner debate: Why the penalty area nonsense is borderline illegal, how weak referees have allowed the set piece chaos to dominate – and what it all means for the World Cup’ – Daily Mail.

‘The beautiful game is broken. This is our plan to fix it’ – Daily Telegraph.

That last article in particular is a marvel to behold once you get past the shock of the Daily Telegraph presenting their ‘plan’ to ‘fix’ something and it not just amounting to removing women or trans people from the equation, or blaming Marcus Rashford for feeding hungry school children.

There is some decent, perfectly sensible stuff in there from their assorted writers advocating for delays at set pieces to be addressed and VAR to be either more limited in its scope or just sacked off entirely.

‘Arsene Wenger’s clear daylight idea is the best I have heard,’ he writes, seemingly but surely not completely seriously. Someone is clearly excited to watch some Canadian Premier League action soon.

This is great and in no way completely daft from Edwards:

‘If we can see a gap between the last defender and the attacker, we all know it’s offside. There would be no need for lines. Fans inside the stadium would be able to tell far better with their naked eye, as would the referee’s assistants with the flag to raise.’

Perfect. Just do offsides like we used to, but now ask officials (and fans in the stands) to judge whether there is enough of a gap between a defender and an attacker instead of the latter simply being ahead of the former in any way. We can see no problems with that whatsoever – everyone will simply accept every decision made because it isn’t from VAR or doesn’t involve those pesky lines.

Edwards has found a way to take Wenger’s idea and make it worse. It’s a genuine achievement.

Next up is Matt Law with this:

‘VAR, PSR, and SCR – get rid of them all. Full abolition. The game has been stolen by data and finance boffins, and none of it is fun.’

You don’t hate modern football. You hate acronyms. And can ‘data and finance boffins’ really be blamed for those things?

Law isn’t done.

‘And those who support a club outside the big six cannot dream about playing Barcelona or Real Madrid without some finance expert telling them their club will be screwed if they finish sixth instead of fifth.’

Spot the fan of the club who only stopped paying Philippe Coutinho’s wage last July. Aston Villa played Paris Saint-Germain, Bayern Munich and Juventus last season, fella. Get over it.

Over to you, James Ducker:

‘Only one player from each team in addition to the defending goalkeeper to be permitted in the six-yard box in a [sic] effort to end these ludicrous corner scrums.’

Can’t wait for VAR lines to be drawn to check whether someone’s toe was inside the six-yard box before scoring.

All in all, it reads less like a ‘plan’ to ‘fix’ football and more like a venting session which has thrown up numerous new ways of making it worse.

No half measures

What football needs is a problem solver who can take ‘drastic measures’ like this:

‘How Benjamin Sesko’s drastic measures including double glazing and VR headset inspired Man Utd take-off’ – The Sun website.

Get the windows at Stockley Park sorted and we’ll all be fine.

A bee in your Easter bonnet

But perhaps the sport is actually f**ked beyond repair, because…

‘Revealed: Why there will be NO Premier League or Championship football over Easter weekend next season’

What woke nonsense is this? First they come for the Boxing Day schedule, now Easter? Does even actual Jesus have no respect for English fixture traditions?

Mike Keegan bravely reports on this travesty for the Daily Mail.

‘In a tradition-defying move which is expected to trigger outrage, sources have disclosed that FIFA have shifted the international break to encompass Good Friday and Easter Monday.’

Consider our outrage well and truly triggered. Keegan himself hasn’t been this furious since the Mail stopped sending him to Wing’s.

‘This season, the two-week international break takes place on March 28. According to details obtained by this newspaper next season it will start after 20 March’s fixtures and encompass Good Friday (March 26) and Easter Monday (March 29).’

So…it’s the exact same weekend? And your exclusive, breaking news is that Easter moves every year – from April 5 in 2026 to March 28 in 2027.

FIFA haven’t ‘shifted the international break to encompass Good Friday and Easter Monday’ at all. The ‘tradition-defying move which is expected to trigger outrage’ is that they haven’t bloody moved it. Because for some reason, Premier League and Championship football being played over Easter isn’t their priority.

‘The first Easter Saturday match took place in 1889 and games over the Easter period have been a staple for more than 100 years.’

Such a ‘staple’ that there were no Premier League fixtures in Easter 2016, for example. And, well, there are none in 2026. But presumably it isn’t ‘tradition-defying’ for FA Cup ties to be played then instead.

Mediawatch is ultimately just confused. This all comes from ‘sources’, ‘insiders’ and ‘details obtained by this newspaper’ about how ‘FIFA have shifted the international break to encompass Good Friday and Easter Monday’.

But the FIFA International Match Calendar was published in March 2023 and covers every year up to 2030, so this exclusive, breaking news has been public knowledge for literally three years.

Just because you’ve only just noticed something and are eager to wilfully ignore context to openly ‘trigger outrage’, doesn’t make it news.

‘FIFA have been contacted for comment,’ the article concludes. Keegan might be waiting a while.

Trigger finger

One of those lines in particular does look familiar, mind…

It’s this one, isn’t it? ‘In a tradition-defying move which is expected to trigger outrage…’

It reads an awful lot like this line a Daily Mail article lamenting last year’s relative lack of Boxing Day fixtures, with Dominic King and one Mike Keegan the authors:

‘In an apparent break from tradition – which may well trigger outrage…’

It almost feels like Keegan wants calendar quirks to ‘trigger outrage’. Weird.

Casper the friendly coach

‘Chelsea make emergency short-term signing amid Robert Sanchez’s struggles’ – The Sun website.

The implication is clear: Chelsea have finally had enough of Robert Sanchez to the extent that they don’t even feel comfortable waiting until the end of the season to replace him. They need an emergency loan. Is Andy Goram available?

The truth is depressing: Chelsea have appointed Casper Ankergren as an interim goalkeeping coach to replace a member of staff who is recovering from surgery. And that click cannot be taken back.