“My whole life was in turmoil” – Portugal’s João Cancelo on losing his mother as a teenager, special connection to Barcelona and Benfica, disagreement with Pep at City and why his personality made it difficult to settle | OneFootball

Cancelo is thriving back at Barca [Getty Images]

João Cancelo is clearly enjoying his reintroduction to Barcelona, having returned to the Catalan club during the winter transfer window following a spell in Saudi Arabia with Al Hilal.

Speaking in a candid and emotional edition of the "Soltinhos pelo Mundo" programme on Canal 11, the Portugal man reflected on his career and looked ahead to the future, which he clearly hopes will involve both Barcelona and boyhood club Benfica, where he made his breakthrough twelve years ago.

“The crest gives me goosebumps”

Cancelo played for Barca in the 2023-24 campaign on-loan from Manchester City, after which he was tempted to the Middle East by Jorge Jesus’ Al Hilal. Eighteen months later and Cancelo returned to Camp Nou, where he admits he wishes to remain for the foreseeable future.

"I have a special affection for this club,” he says of Los Cules. “Of all the clubs I've played at, Benfica and this one are the clubs I always dreamed of playing for. At Benfica I had the opportunity to play for the first team, even though I only played a few games.

“All my idols played here and I always dreamed of playing for Barcelona. Here I feel at home. The crest gives me goosebumps, I'm serious. The crest has weight, it's the Blaugrana.

“I was very well received. It's like I hadn't even left. When the possibility of me coming back arose, and when the news started, several people sent me messages: Gavi, Fermin, Rafinha, Eric Garcia... I felt that they wanted me to come back and help with decisions too.

"Who impresses me? In my first year here in the 2023/24 season, who impressed me most was De Jong, but today I see players who two years ago weren't where they are today. Lamine's evolution has been incredible. Fermin is another star, his evolution is also incredible. Raphinha, for me, is a very special player because he gives so much to the team."

João Félix the most talented Portuguese - Cancelo

As well as current club teammates, Cancelo was also asked about his international colleagues, including enigmatic fellow ex-Benfica prodigy João Félix, who is currently in Saudi Arabia with Al Nassr. Cancelo also spoke about close friend Bernardo Silva, while also responding to a question about the toughest wingers he has faced during his career.

"I have many friends in football: Malcom, Bruno Fernandes, Bernardo Silva, Nuno Mendes, João Neves, João Félix and Rúben Neves. Bernardo Silva is much more mature than I am, you can even tell by his hair. Bernardo is a pain in the neck, but if he calls me out on something, I listen.

"I would like Bernardo to play for Barcelona or Benfica, because we have a special relationship.

“What is João Félix lacking? Just body language. He's the most talented player on the Portugal team. He's special. He plays as a false 9, behind the striker. He's very intelligent with the ball and in his movements, and he also shoots well. He reminds me of Kaká. And he even works harder than I do.

"Opponent wingers? The worst of all, for me, was Neymar, when I was at Valencia, around 2015. England, Salah, and Mané are also difficult, in my opinion. Jérémy Doku is, I'll say, terrifying, incredible; his stop-start play is the most incredible thing I've seen in my career."

“I adore Jorge Jesus”

Despite his obvious delight at returning to Barca, there was space for Cancelo to pay tribute to Jorge Jesus, the current Al Nassr boss who led Al Hilal back in 2024 and was a driving force in bringing the defender to Saudi football, reuniting the pair who had been together at Benfica.

"It was very special,” Cancelo recalls. “The decision for me to go to Al Hilal was largely his. Al Hilal had a different idea, and he said he only wanted me. And that captivated me. There were players in the City dressing room who were already trying to convince me to stay. He didn't call me many times, but the times he did were very decisive.

“He's practically the same, except there are things he doesn't have as much patience for anymore. The desire he has, at 70 years old, to live football the way he does... Jorge Jesus is one of the best coaches I've had in my career. Anyone who knows him... I know him well, very well indeed. He adores me, and I adore him. I can say he has a heart of gold."

Guardiola “unfair” during City departure

Another manager raised during the interview is Pep Guardiola, who for a short period induced some of the best football of Cancelo’s career with Manchester City. Across three-and-a-half seasons in England, Cancelo was a triple Premier League winner, but the hasty nature of his departure to Bayern Munich midway through the 2022-23 season clearly rankles somewhat.

"I came from the World Cup and the manager (Guardiola) and I had a disagreement, and he didn't want me there anymore,” Cancelo says. “I decided to leave for Bayern Munich, and to this day I don't regret it.

“People sometimes portray it as something very serious. It wasn't. He said, 'Look, João, I'm not happy with what you're doing in training, and I want you to leave.' I thought it was very unfair, and I still do. But he's the coach, he's the one in charge. And I went my own way. There's a lingering feeling simply because I felt I was very important, and the team also knew I was important to them.

“He's someone I admire a lot because, for me, he's a genius. He's the best coach I've had in my career. And for making me reach the highest level I could have reached. In other words, he extracted all the potential from me. I would go onto the field and already know I was going to have a great game."

Mother’s love irreplaceable

Moving on swiftly has become a habit during Cancelo’s career, which has seen him regularly switch between big clubs across Europe’s most prestigious leagues. As well as his time with City, Barcelona and Bayern Munich, Cancelo has enjoyed stints with Valencia in Spain as well as Internazionale and Juventus in Italy’s Serie A, with his tenure at most clubs lasting between 1-2 seasons.

"What I feel is I could have stayed longer at a club, but it was sometimes because of my personality. At City or Juventus. Because of my irreverence, sometimes without reason. Often without reason. Today I can admit that, because of the maturity I have now. But I am very proud of what I did and I feel fulfilled."

If Cancelo is a somewhat complicated character, his life story provides plenty of cause for consideration. In his late teens, around one year before he made his senior competitive debut for Benfica, Cancelo along with his younger brother were passengers in a car crash which killed their mother, Filomena Cancelo, on a motorway in Seixal.

“I still feel a void,” he says. “My mother was healthy, it was a shock. My whole life was in turmoil. In a second, everything collapsed. It forced me to be the head of the family at 18, I wasn't prepared. My father was depressed and [working] in Switzerland, my brother was 8 years old. I was already earning my own money and had a professional contract with Benfica, but it wasn't enough to support us.

“All my money went into my mother's account. She provided me with what I needed for school and clothes. Even though my father is a pillar, I was much closer to my mother. He was the one who taught me to play football. But a mother's love cannot be replaced. I missed my mother terribly in difficult situations, especially when I was in tight spots.

“Football didn’t save my life, but it helped a lot. I always wanted to be a football player. If I don’t play, what will I do? I don’t know how to do anything else, I’ll end up on the streets. I didn’t want that. I’m addicted to football and I know my mother wouldn’t want me to give up this path. I could have been the only one in the family with the chance to have a good life.”

Benfica move will be “out of love”

The legacy of his mother is prevalent in Cancelo’s desire to one day return to Benfica, where he made just two senior appearances. For now, the preference to continue at Barcelona is clear, but much like friend and colleague Bernardo Silva, there is a keen interest in one day wearing the Benfica shirt while still being able to perform at close to the peak of his powers.

"I came to Barcelona with the intention of staying [after the loan finishes] with the club. I don't think much about the future. It will depend on Al Hilal's plans for the last year of my contract. I would still like to play for Benfica. I don't know if it will be possible soon.

“Fortunately, I've reached a salary level that is difficult for Benfica to match. If I go to Benfica, I know I'll have to take a pay cut. I've already earned much more than I expected. If I go to Benfica, I will go out of love.

"I don't know. But it's difficult to say no to Benfica and Barcelona, ​​that's where I dreamed of playing. Having only two main games for Benfica's first team is tough, because it was my mother's club, I know she wanted me to play at the Estádio da Luz. And you're in your own country. I never had that feeling.

"Mourinho? I would love to be coached by José Mourinho; he's a role model. I remember what he achieved with FC Porto and Inter Milan, especially the Champions League. He's a coach with an enviable resume.

"I don't want to be at Benfica when I'm not in my best physical condition. I don't want to be just another player. I know it's a demanding club and, if I'm not capable of meeting those demands, then I'd rather not go.”