Sandman’s Definitive Ratings – Gleniffer Braes Doggers FC v Celtic

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The Celtic Star

·15 de diciembre de 2025

Sandman’s Definitive Ratings – Gleniffer Braes Doggers FC v Celtic

SANDMAN’S DEFINITIVE RATINGS: GLENIFFER BRAES DOGGERS FC v CELTIC

“You don’t get what you deserve. You get what you earn.” – Tom Brands.

Jonah Ayunga of St. Mirren scores his team’s second goal whilst under pressure from Kasper Schmeichel of Celtic during the Premier Sports Cup Final match between St Mirren and Celtic at Hampden Park on December 14, 2025. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

THE FRIENDLY GHOST – 5.5/10 – Not a lot for Kasper to do with their goals – exposed by lack of defensive cover as two virtually-free headers beat him, followed by an alarming breakaway third where our defence exhibited the resilience of Bonnie Blue’s kecks.

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KATIE – 5.5/10 – He’s still got the power – sweet assist for our goal – and needed it to combat their robust strike force. But the legs aren’t the exo-skeleton pistons anymore that fired him up and down his wing of near a decade past. Thus, he was drained and done before the rest had fully chucked it, and our way back into the match diminished.

Liam Scales of Celtic during the Premier Sports Cup Final match between St Mirren and Celtic at Hampden Park on December 14, 2025. (Photo by Vagelis Georgariou, The Celtic Star)

OF JUSTICE – 4/10 – A shaky day for Liam – more responsibility in a spartan backline has yet to settle well with him. And if there’s a more difficult physical front pairing to counter than St.Mirren’s, then he’s not met them yet and let’s hope he doesn’t because they gave him a torrid time.

CRUSTY THE CLOWN – 6.5/10 MOTM – Equipped himself admirably enough given the failure of others to offer protection or support. You might think he was careless for their second with a slack pass out but the culpability wasn’t his, as he was swamped – the mistake came beforehand with JK’s calamitous first touch selling possession and facilitating their break en masse. Still the only player giving solid, consistent input, since his restoration.

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TONY THE TIGER – 5/10 – Fault The Brickie? For 100% committment, taking a machete to the heid and generally reflecting in his countenance the mood of every fan? No, he’ll never purposely let you down.

Callum McGregor of Celtic looks dejected after the team’s defeat during the Premier Sports Cup Final match between St Mirren and Celtic at Hampden Park on December 14, 2025. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

CALMAC – 4/10 – Sought to assert himself and be the hammer of the harpies once more, but the control he gained after the first quarter mysteriously slipped beyond the break. Whatever command he thought he had, evaporated under confusion and hustle; leading to a multitude of midfield breakdowns and trips to consult with the sidelines.

THE TERMINATOR – 4/10 – I believed he might be the bhoy to raise us out of the mire as time dragged on. But though he applied himself pretty well physically, the guile wasn’t there, nor the decision-making in moments of opportunity.

Reo Hatate of Celtic scores during the Premier Sports Cup Final match between St Mirren and Celtic at Hampden Park on December 14, 2025. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

HAKUNA HATATE – 4.5/10 – Never got going. His finish was sublime and should have led to a Reo masterclass. Yet for all his movement, nothing else fell his way and he never seemed to be settling into the pivotal role that defines so many of his quality displays and our wins off the back of that.

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LORD KATSUMOTO – 5/10 – You can’t keep Daizen down, but you can starve him of the service he thrives on and that’s what we inexplicably did into the second period when he was, and had been, the obvious out-ball to turn their lumbering assassins at the back and wn us the cup.

TUTANKHAMUN – 1/10 – Nope. Give Mikey a call.

Kelechi Iheanacho during the Premier Sports Cup Final match between St Mirren and Celtic at Hampden Park on December 14, 2025. (Photo by Vagelis Georgariou, The Celtic Star)

ITCHYCOO PARK – 6/10 – Goddamn. Should have read the tea leaves when he clutched his hammy like the chicks grab their thighs when Jamesy rolls into a Prestwick bar. Suddenly, ominously, we were down a man who looks like he’s mad for being a bhoy and has the class to carry the line. Had looked like our potent attacking fulcrum for half an hour, coming close a couple of times, defied by top goalkeeping.

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SUBS –

YING – N/A – Skied one towards the Celtic end with a futile last effort. It landed in Birmingham.

JAMESY – N/A – That bad? Yes, even the presence of Jamesy couldn’t open up the Paisley legs to let us in, and that’s really saying something.

MELLOW YELLOW – 4/10 – Too enthusiastic. Might be a good thing sometimes, but was caught galavanting up his wing as they broke and killed the game down his detailed channel.

KENNY JOHNNY – 1/10 – Nope. First-touch like Michael Mols’ missus; Brutal. Second time he spilled it was unforgivable, breaking-up our forward move and allowing them to overload and score.

HIGHLAND TOFFEE – N/A – Luke at where he’s being played; all over. Someone can’t make their mind up what his proper position Lukes like.

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Wilfried Nancy during the Premier Sports Cup Final match between St Mirren and Celtic at Hampden Park on December 14, 2025. (Photo by Vagelis Georgariou, The Celtic Star)

LIONEL RICHIE – 5/10 – Undone by Baldrick’s cunning plan. Learned half his lesson from Thursday with Negan benched, but big Paulo still criminally cast to the winds. Yet… The first 45 minutes’ Nancyball was encouraging – hauling us back into the game, pinning them, creating chances, exerting enough domination to think the inevitable would follow.

Wilfried Nancy during the Premier Sports Cup Final match between St Mirren and Celtic at Hampden Park on December 14, 2025. (Photo by Vagelis Georgariou, The Celtic Star)

So what went wrong? His tactics? No – see above. The problem lies deeper but maybe not deep enough that he cannot stake a salvage claim and bring the treasure to the surface; The players’ simply disconnected from their manager’s instruction. Somehow. It was a communication issue on a rather grand scale given the context of the game.

That’s what needs addressed – not the tactical approach, because we saw enough in the first-half to understand Nancyball is capable of overwhelming the most rigid, strident SPL defensive exponents. His success or failure will depend on his players’ ability to execute his system for 90 minutes. And win with it.

Ange Postecoglou Unveiling – Celtic Park Friday June 25, 2021. Photo: Jeff Holmes

Ange Postecoglou infamously struggled to get anywhere at first, losing at Mordor and facing the hangman’s noose. It took Big Ange months – yes, MONTHS – to get Angeball functioning on a consistent level, establishing its uncompromising permanence in the Celtic mindset with the devastation of the Zombie hordes in February 2022.

With the current mood surrounding the club and interweb/social media cry-spanking virgins digging the hatchets out, I’d say WN’s got until the end of February if his January signings don’t rock the casbah.

Good luck.

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MIBBERY – 3/10 – A surprisingly easy, joyful day for the scuzzballs in black who barely had to pull a pinkie to fashion the result that would lubricate the ludges.

Callum McGregor and Celtic teammates look on after the Premier Sports Cup Final defeat to St Mirren at Hampden Park on December 14, 2025. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

OVERALL – 4/10 – A rousing retaliation to the gangsters’ early goal left us unperturbed at half-time, awaiting the continuation of a vibrant, flexible resurgence that had pulled one back and created enough close things that their keeper was initiating traditional Paisley voodoo rites in his six-yard box to thwart our advances.

Then came the second-half and…Nothing. Point-blank nothing. Had someone shared a dirty needle in the dressing room? Was the stolen batch of Feegie smack tainted? Our players wandered around Hampden in a fugue; lost their way in more alarming fashion than Fred West turning up to landscape your garden.

We got rinsed by a St.Mirren team more drilled, committed and deserving of a glorious victory. Disturbingly, that is NOT down entirely to the coaching; like Thursday these players need to take more responsibility for their performance levels. Downing tools and shifting blame to the new coach because the system requires time and effort to learn and implement does not top professionals make.

We lost because man-for-man St.Mirren took us on and wanted it more, despite them being on the verge of capitulation towards the interval. Their players went all-or-nothing while ours wandered around going through the motions, entitled.

St Mirren celebrate during the Premier Sports Cup Final match between St Mirren and Celtic at Hampden Park on December 14, 2025. (Photo by Vagelis Georgariou, The Celtic Star)

Well the trust fund has run out and the trust of the support is wavering. The manager’s just in the door and has no idea where or what Paisley is, bar having watched the Jurassic Park franchise. The TEAM knew exactly what they were up against, got it under control, then chose to ease their collective foot off the throats of the narco-raptors, and paid the price. Time the squad quit the whining, bought into the ideas, gave it their all, and focussed on the winning. Heal the fractures.

Find a new way.

Go Away Now

Sandman

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