Time for Some Definitive Ratings – Celtic v Barcawell

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The Celtic Star

·15 de marzo de 2026

Time for Some Definitive Ratings – Celtic v Barcawell

SANDMAN’S DEFINITIVE RATINGS: CELTIC v BARCAWELL…

“We will be relentless in our pursuit for perfection. We won’t ever be perfect – but in the process we will achieve greatness.” – Vince Lombardi

Viljami Sinisalo of Celtic is beaten by the shot of Elijah Just of Motherwell (not pictured) during the Scottish Premiership match between Celtic and Motherwell at Celtic Park on March 14, 2026 . (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

VINDALOO – 6.5/10 – Jeez, Vinny likes to tempt fate at times; the ghost of the Friendly Ghost, Kasper, haunted him with the dodgy slipped pass to an under-pressure Reo for the opener. A pastiche of their second against us in January. Given he can see the press coming and that it is their most potent weapon, he’s got to shoulder equal responsibility for that shocker. However, still managed some smart saves and exudes confidence which strengthens the resolve of the harangued back four in front of him.

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KATIE – 6.5/10 – Another display of battling intensity from KT. Difficult shift against pace and movement but he kept himself in it physically for an admirable length of time.

MELLOW YELLOW – 6/10 – Surprised to see the big lad in, and dismayed to know Azteco was injured. But was never worried that young Colby couldn’t gallop his way through this testing afternoon. Handled their attacking verve well, with youthful enthusiasm, and always eager to support his winger.

OF JUSTICE – 7/10 – Probably up there with last week’s Zombie pumping as captain Liam’s biggest domestic career challenge. This was against a proper footballing side rotating their frontline constantly. With his young charge at his side it was a Knight of the Seven Kingdoms performance, heroically maintaining focus under stressful pressure, particularly in a tough opening half.

Benjamin Arthur of Celtic heads at goal during the Scottish Premiership match between Celtic and Motherwell at Celtic Park on March 14, 2026. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

PENDRAGON – 7/10 – With ‘skelping comes maturity. Great shift today, showing he’s got it mentally to complement his physical prowess. Despite lack of game time, he’s impressed with his application. Wonder if he’d fancy another season on loan?

Sandman’s Definitive Ratings continue on the next page…

Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain at Ibrox. Scottish Cup quarter final on Sunday 8 March 2026. Photograph by Vagelis Georgariou

NEVILLE – 6.5/10 – Paint the lines thinner, groundsman! Scottish football, eh? Veteran EPL personality gets the raw taste of parochial warfare as he is isolated and swarmed by enthusiastic journeymen. Feared the worst for him, stuck in among speedy rotation with his aged legs still not totally tuned. And a yellow on his first challenge – the kid should have been wearing shin pads, for heaven’s sake! – meant the chances of him not finishing the game one way or the other were short odds. But he hung in there with nous and class. Had another near-sensational strike refuse to creep in after a blinding fingertip-save pushed it onto the post. Picked his moments to play, but most impressive all game was his positioning; economy of movement to counter their abundance.

Hyunjun Yang of Celtic celebrates scoring his team’s opening goal with Benjamin Nygren during the Scottish Premiership match between Celtic and Motherwell at Celtic Park on March 14, 2026. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

NYLON – 5.5/10 – Today. He chooses today to lose his scoring touch. Mind you, if he could kick with his right peg we might have been out of sight. Very unlucky to spin one off some amber bammer’s back onto the upright; summed up his day. But still made a poignant contribution by nicking the ball to set up our equaliser, so not all bad.

Reo Hatate of Celtic arrives prior to the Scottish Premiership match between Celtic and Motherwell at Celtic Park on March 14, 2026. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

HAKUNA HATATE – 5.5/10 – What’s Japanese for, ‘dithering numpty? Jee-sus…The saviour of the midfield in recent times comes a cropper with a calamitous error to kill our title hopes. Or so it felt at the time. Said previously, not entirely his fault but his hesitation against their press was fatal, and he knew it. Still, if there’s one thing he will do when in the mood it’s continue to play football. So kudos for not reprising the sulking Hatate and finishing strongly, on a yellow, with an appetite for victory.

https://twitter.com/fast_sin/status/2032940133469794788?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Sandman’s Definitive Ratings continue on the next page…

Hyunjun Yang of Celtic scores his team’s opening goal during the Scottish Premiership match between Celtic and Motherwell at Celtic Park on March 14, 2026. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

YING – 8/10 MOTM – And there it is! Concrete proof measured by the Jamesy Scale that the Korean Messi is… Eh, ‘dining at the Y’. A couple of tremendous finishes allied to his work-rate make him a potent weapon when he’s not charging around with blue baws. Was the surprise difference maker today when I expected he’d be expending energy closing them down for 90 minutes. Now, if there was only a way we could ensure his committed, 100% engaged participation to the absolute end of the season…Jamesy, need a wingman?

LORD KATSUMOTO – 7/10 – From the 17th minute when he turned in the centre circle with a delicate, uplifting back-heeled turn and charge down their throats, I knew Daizen’s touch was in and he was going to be instrumental. And he put in a Maeda classic of a 90 minutes – tireless until he dropped, combative and hungry; deserved a goal himself, but won that crucial penalty. Maybe eleven games to go as a Celt. Mr.201 could go out a double-winning hero. And who’d bet against him if he’s finally found the Daizen form we know?

TUTANKHAMUN – 4/10 – The only let-down today. Another Mikey J promising opening comes to nothing as he gets overwhelmed by prowess and appetite. Ended up chasing fruitlessly as they picked him off too often and countered. And he doesn’t possess Yang’s defensive capabilities. Rightly hooked at Half-time, regardless of injury.

Sandman’s Definitive Ratings continue on the next page…

SUBS –

Hyunjun Yang of Celtic celebrates scoring his team’s third goal during the William Hill Premiership match between Celtic and Motherwell at Celtic Park on March 14, 2026 in Glasgow, Scotland. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

HIGHLAND TOFFEE – N/A – Thought he’d be on earlier, but was relieved as Luke practiced giving the ball back to the opposition for the first ten minutes of his participation.

SAINT BERNARDO – N/A – Somehow the middle felt a little stronger with Paulo in there to fortify it.

SCRATCHY – N/A – Good to see the fiery sicario back on the park. A big asset for the run-in.

TONY THE TIGER – N/A – The Brickie strikes! Resumes hostilities with the SPL and the MIBs – picked up a scandalous yellow for a terrific solid tackle, then stuck it to Johnny B by cracking a screamer into the rigging* with virtually the last kick of the game.

*Hammered it wide and hit a ballboy.

Tomas Cvancara of Celtic celebrates after scoring his team’s second goal during the Scottish Premiership match between Celtic and Motherwell at Celtic Park on March 14, 2026. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

CARAVAN – 6.5/10 – On cold, but hot in the head and right up for it. Must have still been buzzing on his heroic Mount Doom moment last Sunday. Managed to reprise that brilliantly with the most crucial penalty-kick of our season; sweetly clipped down the keeper’s throat and metaphorically, too, the throat of every urine-gargling heathen in Christendom.

Sandman’s Definitive Ratings continue on the next page…

Celtic manager Martin O’Neil arrives prior to the Scottish Premiership match between Celtic and Motherwell at Celtic Park on March 14, 2026 . (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

FATHER MARTIN AND SAMWISE GANGEE – 8/10 – Shuffle like you were Mick and Keef in Harlem. Yet more injury worries and makeshift make-shifting to get a competitive side on the park against the country’s best footballing team. And for a time, he had his work cut-out, tweaking and gambling with components, trying to put round pegs in shamrock-shaped holes, flirting with disaster as the card-count mounted.

But the wise old owl played a probability game, aware that the ferocious rotation his players faced would fade with time as fatigue bit. He managed to keep a fragile Celtic in a decent enough shape to take our chance when possession presented itself, and in the end dividends paid out in luck and victory. Got to roll those tumbling dice like the Stones said, and MON did. And won. Again.

Celtic manager Martin O’Neill and Shaun Maloney look on during the Scottish Premiership match between Celtic and Motherwell at Celtic Park on March 14, 2026. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

https://twitter.com/BBCSportScot/status/2032877696821145741?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Sandman’s Definitive Ratings continue on the next page…

https://twitter.com/Highland__paddy/status/2032880377581203539?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

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MIBBERY – 6/10 – The nightmare strikes Johhny B and the Mibber-ee once more – VAR throws in the nauseating penalty cert and the necessary red.If he wasn’t already sporting the face of every man who’s girl has encountered Jamesy, that call all but broke him.

https://twitter.com/pat_mcs/status/2032895904793911625?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

As if Mordor a fortnight back wasn’t bad enough, here was the moment he had to clip the wings of the one side capable of dominating the Bhoys. To be far, he rallied in diabolical fashion by bookng everyone in Paradise dressed remotely in a semblance of green but the Celts teased him like the Alan Partridge lap-dances of his dreams by refusing to dangle a trailing leg or fire into any dubious 50-50s that would warrant an equalising red or more. Enjoy yer night, Johnny, pal. Har-de-har.

https://twitter.com/ScouseTims/status/2032881327708533238?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Sandman’s Definitive Ratings continue on the next page…

Celtic Manager Martin O’Neill reacts during the Scottish Premiership match between Celtic and Motherwell at Celtic Park on March 14, 2026. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

OVERALL – 8.5/10 – WHAT a win that is. The only domestic team to properly rinse us in recent memory roll into Parkhead on a must-win mission for their own title ambitions and Celtic facing them with yet more fresh injury concerns, plus no skipper again to call the shots and give us some sort of countering-rhythm in the midfield. I feared the worst. And for a time, that impressive Ange-ballesque rotation had us chasing. And chasing. And to be honest, I was praying the Bhoys just hung in and maintained concentration. Then they messed it up royally.

And at one down – in the manner in which we conceded – it really looked like another may put the lights out on our league season. But, massive kudos to the side for not being demoralised and forcing our way back into the game, continually snapping back and refusing to let Motherwell dominate after the equaliser. Of course, we will have to go there before the prizes are distributed. But we’re now on an even keel with the incest-twins, who also have to play the Lanarkshire – now kingmakers – again. Buckle-up. We’re really back in the driving seat now, with the salt ‘n’ sauce Cousins on the run, and their Spiderman cosplay Cousins one bad result from an anguished meltdown that will make Chernobyl look like the chip-pan fire that melted their season. Happy days are *nearly* here again… Keep on keepin’ on.

https://twitter.com/KilmarnockFC/status/2032956165286424725?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

*Kilmarnock 1 Hearts 0 is the full-time score from Rugby Park this evening.

https://twitter.com/JimGreenan/status/2032998010238476587?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Go Away Now

Sandman

https://twitter.com/julianarauGOAT/status/2032988986143289418?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Celtic in the Thirties by Matt Corr. Click on image to order