A Mag abroad is never on holiday | OneFootball

Walking along the edge of Lake Garda from Lasize to Bardolino, who did I see pedalling purposefully inside a campsite, with his younger sister in tow?

None other than young Lucas, sporting a black-and-white striped top.

At first I assumed the youngster was a Juve fan, one of many in this part of northern Italy.

Since arriving five days ago, I had clocked shirts promoting several of the big European teams, including Bayern, PSG, Real Madrid and Barca.

Predictably, there had been plenty (some would say far too many) Liverpool, Arsenal, Man Utd and Chelsea tops on display.

As Lucas whizzed past on the other side of the wire mesh fence, my assumption proved false. That is, unless Juve are sponsored by Sela and Noon.

“I should have shouted ‘Toon Army’,” I told the missus, “but he might have fallen off his bike!”

Two minutes later, he approached at high speed from the opposite direction. This time I was ready. “Toon Army, Toon Army!!” at 120 decibels disturbed the tranquil atmosphere like a blunderbuss in a silent disco.

Slamming on his brakes with all the finesse of Tadej Pogacar avoiding a multiple pile-up, Lucas turned to see the source of this familiar chant.

“You all right, man?” I asked.

Lucas is probably no more than 11, so I made my second assumption, which was probably more accurate than the first; that he wouldn’t at such a tender age be thinking: “WTF! Who is this weirdo?!”

Anyway, he was fine, although not apparently aware of the latest Anthony Elanga development, namely the new recruit’s medical.

“Medical? Who? Isak?”

“No, our £50m-plus signing from Forest,” I explained. “You haven’t been keeping up with the news, have you?”

“I’m on holiday,” he replied, reasonably enough.

“OK, but you’re never off-duty if you support the Mags,” was my less-than-reasonable response. “Do you get to many games?”

“Some. My dad supports Middlesbrough….”

Now it was my turn for a WTF moment. “Your dad’s a Smoggy? What’s all that about?”

“But my mum’s side of the family are Newcastle United fans,” he added hastily. “My grandad is too.”

Sadly for Lucas, Grandad was back in the northeast, so I guess Dad would have to listen to the strange tale of this strange encounter with an NUFC pensioner lacking a decent Tyneside accent.

“Tell your dad to log on to The Mag website. You’re gonna be famous, Lucas!” I shouted as he sped off.

More than 1,000 miles from home (1,842km, according to the AA) young Lucas was proud to show his support for the Toon.

We should all follow his splendid example and leave the glory-hunting hordes to align themselves with the next media darlings.