England must ‘protect our large tongued saviour at all costs’ | OneFootball

England were rotten against Japan…we really do have no options beyond Harry Kane. But there was one positive.

We also have some views on Tottenham. Mail us at theeditor@football365.com

Three Little Lambs?

When England qualified for the Epstein Files World Cup with a perfect record, they looked fearsome like the Three Lions. But after last night’s showing, the big bad wolves in group L will soon blow down the house built by the three little lambs…baa. Muthama Gitonga, Nyeri (Mount Kenya)

…According to a popular betting exchange, England are 2nd favourites to win the World Cup, after drawing to Uruguay and losing to Japan.

Oh lay, oh lay, oh lay. Simon S, NUFC, Cheshire

…If corners/set-pieces are so ‘basic’, why are England so shit at them tonight? My local park team would’ve done better with every single one Pete, Norfolk

Lewis Hall the new England left-back?

Absolutely turgid stuff obviously, but I was mighty impressed with Lewis Hall when he came on. He put a few good crosses into the gap where Kane wasn’t, smashed a cracking shot that the excellently named Zion Suzuki palmed away and looked full of verve throughout his cameo.

Looking at the match ratings on the BBC and Football365 though, and they barely mentioned him. Instead praising the pretty non-effective Nico O’Reilly. Hall absolutely nailed down that left back slot to me with that cameo.

Maybe I passed out from boredom, and then had a dream about a cherubic faced young left-back and his swashbuckling ways. In which case, at least my therapist will be earning his crust this week. I’ll certainly need him in June, especially if Kane picks up an injury.

Dust off that cotton wool filled crate that TFI Friday had for Gazza in 1998, which presumably Hoddle must have put a lock on and buried in a desert. We need to protect our large tongued saviour at all costs. Jae, Tunbridge Wells

Don’t panic

Before we all get carried away slating England at least we’re not Italy. There’s time for us and Thomas Tuchel to get it right before the World Cup. Dan, London

Good move from Spurs?

In various confrontational situations in life, especially when choosing between unpalatable options, the best advice is very often to do what your opponent least wants you to do. Solely on that basis, well done Spurs. I was hoping you’d hang on to Tudor. Mike, WHU

De Zerbi will crack

I have a theory: much of it is scar tissue and trauma. Having had to settle on Nuno as their ninth-choice gaffer a few seasons back, and after regularly getting pied off by all angles from players down the years (ie, your Ezes, Gibbs-Whites… Luis Diaz further back… Grealish, Dybala, Willian further still…), I reckon Tottenham moved for De Zerbi in large part as it was the flashest name they could get through the door, but fittingly, without having to compete for the signature. As we know, to compete is anathema to the Tottenham. They needed a free run at it, even if more prudent names for a seven-game survival stretch probably make more sense given remit and circumstance.

The thing is, all the varied names and personas and walks of life passing through the revolving Spurs door do at some point or another reach identical conclusions. Mourinho sat on dog years for his knives to come out. Postecoglou had a whiff of self-preservation when he went the podcast route, but his observations were pointed and pointedly barbed. Conte famously didn’t even wait to flush before he fled the hot mess under his hot seat.

What makes anyone believe De Zerbi (he of the uber-zen, chill fella demeanor right ?) won’t be coming to that same exact conclusion as all who passed before him ? Maybe the bags of coin will gag him to buy reprieve, maybe they’ll clink glasses when they avoid the drop, but at some point it all comes flooding out. It always does. That Tottenham osmosis is trademark inevitable as much as it is inevitably sad. Eric, Los Angeles CA (Btw forget our tiki-taka, Tuchel wanted hari-kiri at Wembley tonight.)

…Two thoughts on Spurs and their new appointment. Firstly the new stadium must be a financial millstone as it has been for many relegated clubs so a drop in playing investment was to be expected. De Zerbi just like Frank came from a well run Prem club and will not find that environment at Spurs. Why are they expecting an uptick? Ted Bythesea

…Football management is the only job in the world where you can consistently fail upwards, and particularly at Spurs. You had Levy to blame until recently, and now the clowns in charge provide you with another blemish free record should you not succeed/fail.

Even some of our fans are suggesting getting Ange back to save the day. The same guy who spectacularly failed at Forest this very season after nearly relegating us last year! He’s not a Premier League manager, and Ange-ball is nonsense. He ran our players into the ground and we are still without Kulu and Madders who at the very least would have improved the situation somewhat. I was at the Brighton game after the EL win and Ange wasted all his credit after 35 minutes when they reverted to lumping it up to Richarlson for the rest of the game. The party atmosphere disappeared after less than on half of football, and anyone who thinks Ange is the answer is in dire need of a head wobble, or at the very least listen to his Overlap appearance where he blamed everyone else but himself and ignored his Forest disaster.

De Zerbi can f*** off as well. Same thing will happen next season unless we get Poch back to change the mood at the ground. It’s never been as toxic as it is right now. Poch’s form was relegation fodder when he left but his disillusionment was down to Levy ignoring his cries for the “painful rebuild”.

Clearly, I need a snickers or something. Ranty. Jon (I find it helps to make peace with relegation and I for one welcome our new away days), Lincoln

Relegation is hilarious, actually

Sam. What an embarrassing, Windows 95, side-salad of a man you are.

In short, you are everything that is wrong with the modern game. (Middle-aged rant incoming.)

To say that you’ll take no pleasure at the relegation of my team – West Ham – is an embarrassment to all spurs fans. In fact, it’s an insult to football fans in general. Slap yourself in the face and wake up.

If you take no pleasure in our downfall, that what are we doing all this for ? The epic tribalism of our game. The songs, the chants. The colours we wear. The ribbing in the office after a big win or defeat. This is what bonds us together. It gives us something to talk about in the pub when we meet strangers.

You’re dismissing all of that. Opinions like yours have led to the rise of scarves with two football teams on them. Polite clapping when a goal is scored. VAR. Prawn sandwiches. Take your pick.

It’s mean to tease opposing football fans because they might be sick or poor ? Or part of the “millions less fortunate” ? Are you a columnist for the guardian ?

One of our teams is going down, my pedigree chum. If it’s the Hanmers I expect mockery, snide comments and at least a season of one-upmanship. It’ll make our return to the Premier League and our next victory against you all the sweeter.

And of course; if Spurs go down you will never hear the end of it. Songs will be sung. Drinks will be raised and then downed. Discussion of statues to Igor Tudor. Banter, in short – and lots of it.

I and my people will not accept your “kind regards”. I wish Spurs nothing but darkness. Each and every defeat you suffer brings a smile to my face and a spring to my step.

So jog on, Sam. FFS. Take yourself and your opinions over to bowls or cricket where they belong. Tom, E13

…The letter from Sam this morning was the most absurd opinion I have heard yet on the Spurs situation. Spurs going down wouldn’t be funny because some of their fans might be on long term sick?