The five-letter Alejandro Garnacho ‘message’ that makes us despair | OneFootball

There’s just something about Alejandro Garnacho that screams content. But sometimes he has literally done nothing.

Oh and the Champions League draw has NOT been decided.

Garnacho cheese

First, a reminder that not everything is transfer content.

But Garnacho clearly is content fodder; there’s just something about the Chelsea player that screams content. The face. The talent. The nonsense.

Which is why we end up here on the Manchester Evening News: ‘Alejandro Garnacho’s message to Man United star and behaviour that’s sparked huge concern’.

There’s an obvious market for content aimed at Manchester United fans wanting to gloat about the winger’s less-than-stellar start at Chelsea.

Has anything happened this week? Has it balls. Does that matter? No, they have just picked this week to ‘take a look at how it came to be that such an exceptional talent left United, his current relationship with the team and how he is faring in west London’.

The sum total of his ‘message to Man United star’ was ‘T best’ on a Bruno Fernandes social media post. Literally five letters. And that merits not only that headline but these…

‘Alejandro Garnacho’s concerning behaviour, bitter Man Utd exit and message to Bruno Fernandes’ – Daily Mirror.

‘What Alejandro Garnacho told Man Utd star as behaviour sparked concern’ – Daily Express.

A reminder that what he ‘told Man Utd star’ was ‘T best’.

But what’s this in the Daily Express?

A ‘next manager twist’ you say?

Has Carrick ruled himself out? Has Xavi ruled himself in?

Or is Xavi – currently a 33/1 shot for the United job – ‘reportedly in the running to become Morocco’s new manager’?

That’s mighty tenuous but this might be even better/worse from the Manchester Evening News:

Jurgen Klopp for Man United? Now that is a ‘curveball’. We might even say that was a ‘new manager twist’ and a half.

‘Jurgen Klopp was so often a thorn in Manchester United’s side, but it appears the former Liverpool boss could throw some of the Reds’ plans into the air,’ apparently.

If we are assuming that Klopp is not about to become United boss, our brains are in overdrive. Is he about to appoint Carrick as manager of Red Bull Salzburg?

Is he balls. But what could happen is that Klopp is sacked by Red Bull and they could replace him with Oliver Glasner, who was probably never going to become Manchester United manager anyway.

Indeed, the prospect of United appointing Carrick now seems so high that the Daily Mirror have busied themselves revealing ‘Michael Carrick’s permanent Man Utd contract – and how it would differ to his current deal’. And you will be shocked to learn that it will be quite a bit longer.

That’s both a curveball and a twist.

All in the f*** of the draw

We covered this on Wednesday and we are well aware that the boat has long since sailed over the jumped shark but FFS, we simply cannot less this kind of sh*t pass.

It’s not misleading. It’s not clever. It’s just a bare-faced lie from The Sun.

Man City are not ‘facing a nightmare clash’; they literally have a 50% chance of being drawn against Bodø/Glimt. And let’s not pretend that potentially being drawn against Newcastle will keep Chelsea awake at night. Hell, they would probably prefer to play this particular version of the Toon than the kings of the Arctic.

The Sun are obviously not alone; we’d like to give a Chinese burn (is that racist?) to the Daily Star for claiming that ‘Champions League last-16 draw confirmed as Premier League clubs learn opponents’. No, no, no. It’s bollocks.

Then we go to the Daily Express, who have taken it upon themselves to ‘simulate’ the draw and – this will send you reeling – ‘our draw gave four Premier League clubs the hardest possible opponents’. Who saw that coming? Oh…every single one of us.