Until someone reminds me it was the first of Nick Woltemade’s 200 goals for Newcastle United…

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·14 septembre 2025

Until someone reminds me it was the first of Nick Woltemade’s 200 goals for Newcastle United…

Hi everyone!

I’ve not enjoyed this season to date I have to admit.

Vidéos OneFootball

Obviously some rotten little ingrate has turned our close season into a chaotic circus that has tainted holidays, ruined weekends, ending in a manic climax that may yet work out well for Newcastle United, but indisputably has cost us as we approached today, with two points from a potential nine.

This total would, without question, have been better had we had a recognised striker in this opening set of matches.

Today that changed.

Wolverhampton were the perfect opponent for a settling side, zero points from the opening games, here lies a side that would have been in massive relegation bother last year were it not for the presence of a trio of non-competitors as the inevitable relegatees. Even then, it felt like Cunha was often the difference between Wolves and oblivion, and his departure for a new relegation battle has left a scarred squad that has an almighty feel of four failed managers in a season to forget. You could be forgiven for thinking United could get something here.

The summer striker narrative still wouldn’t go away.

Woltemade started for United when Wissa may have been a steadier option, whereas alleged alternative target Strand Larsen missed out for Wolves. The visitors may well have cursed their main man’s absence in a terrifying opening couple of minutes where their two best opportunities were carved out. I’m not sure if Nick Pope got a touch to the effort within 10 seconds or if it was a deflection off Livramento, but Pope was definitely the hero of Hwang’s shot from the subsequent corner, saving at full stretch to quell an opening that definitely wasn’t in the script. If he’s saved both, Pope should get a 9/10 and be in Shearer’s team of the week.

United then decided to get settled into the game and if we’re honest here, the majority of activity occurred in the first half. Murphy blasted wide, then hammered a point blank shot into the keeper. Schar produced a back foot interception of such utter magnificence it should be worthy of an award, the accuracy in steering a cross wide with an opponent breathing down his neck in front of an open goal, is astonishing on a level of a superb goal, but handsome defenders rarely get the plaudits.

Things were picking up, although there was some concern about the shocking approach of the opponents, not least Bruno looking in some distress after an early assault as Wolves clearly had a certain game plan.

Wolves’ lowly status has clearly given way to destructive tactics, as this kind of horrible cludge was omnipotent throughout a kickabilly opening. When Barnes was clean through the defender’s flying double axe handle to take him out was inexplicably cleared by both ref and VAR. I’m sure by the time this goes online you’ll all have seen both the pundits on MOTD incredulous how this hasn’t become a matter for the police, let alone a red card offence.

No matter, for today just needed one outcome, the result that would set our season straight. The way it was delivered was lovely stuff. As United probed down the right, Murphy seemed to have little space for delivery when played in by Tonali, but he engineering space to dig out a looping cross. I think I’ll remember the feeling of anticipation in the ground as it became apparent he had picked out Big Nick. It looked on, but I honestly can’t emphasise enough, what a magnificent header this was. With Mosquera in close attendance Woltemade outjumped and outpowered him but still managed to plant the header out of reach of Johnstone. It was a fabulous finish and a massive, massive moment as our big signing broke his duck on debut, thus avoiding any potential monkey on his back about playing in the Premier League. The response was cacophonous and Big Nick already has a song (Woltemade, to the tune of Campiognes).

United were now in the ascendancy, with Murphy having a goal ruled out after the offside Barnes had played him in. With injury time almost over, Tonali hit a vicious drive that bounced back off the inside of the post in the style of Chris Waddle at Italia 90. I feel much better about the Germans today though.

Second half was dreadful if we’re honest, it felt like United were balancing off the value of the win against the potential to extend the margin, with the conservative approach winning out. Also, if we try and pretend that nobody was thinking about the visit of the biggest club in the world in five days time then we’re all living in a mad and miserable world where there’s no point in striving for Champions League qualification and the joys it brings.

Osula coming on for Woltemade was a throwback to recent weeks. Young Will ran about in earnest but his inability to link up the opportunities played into him, saw United have little goal threat, to the extent that the final 15-20 minutes became an apparent exercise in hanging on for the 1-0.

Hang in we did. The first three points on the board and I know what this game will look like in hindsight. At some point in the future I’ll read how our first win of the 25/26 season was a 1-0 against relegated Wolverhampton and I’ll struggle to remember the game, until someone reminds me it was the first of Nick Woltemade’s 200 goals for Newcastle. It was not a good match, but friends, this will do on so many levels. It was played in a controlled and managed fashion because…

We have only five days to turn around before (swallows hard, wipes tear from the eye) – Barcelona. I bloody love you Eddie.

Newcastle 1 Wolves 0 – Saturday 13 September 2025 3pm

Goals:

Newcastle United:

Woltemade 29

Wolves:

Possession was Newcastle 57% Wolves 43%

Total shots were Newcastle 16 Wolves 8

Shots on target were Newcastle 4 Wolves 3

Corners were Newcastle 10 Wolves 4

Touches in the box Newcastle 29 Wolves 23

Newcastle team v Wolves: