Why an England v Argentina World Cup semi-final must be blocked by FIFA | OneFootball

It would be a miracle if England and Norway get their World Cup quarter-final on, but the Three Lions cannot be allowed to play Argentina.

FIFA will simply have to step in if both sides win their next games, because no-one can possibly be ready for that coverage.

Hit the Dec

Mediawatch is starting to think there might be no point in England playing their World Cup quarter-final against Norway.

‘Declan Rice suffering from sickness bug as England staff desperately try to contain it ahead of Norway clash’ is the story atop The Sun’s website. And considering their poorly opponents have already been ‘hit by illness’ themselves it would be a minor miracle if there are enough players left to get a game on.

Mind you, not sure that Rice missing a couple of training sessions and being kept away from the rest of the entirely healthy squad really amounts to England ‘desperately trying to contain a sickness bug in their camp’.

It sounds similarly undesperate and just as routine as the ‘chaos’ and illness engulfing Norway.

Scare tactics

The Rice ‘scare’ amounts to him and only him coming down with something. The Daily Telegraph use the same ironically scaremongering term but Matt Law does at least clarify that ‘the expectation is that Rice will be cleared to face Norway,’ which sounds positively petrifying.

And yes, back to that Norway ‘sickness bug’ which amounts to Jorgen Strand Larsen missing the opening game – he has featured only in the group dead rubber against France so don’t know if his absence against Iraq can really be put down to a bad cough – and Marcus Pedersen sitting out the win over Brazil.

Oh, and Stale Solbakken ‘coughing violently’ during that press conference that one time.

It does feel like everyone is going to be just fine really.

Viking power

The rest of The Sun‘s build-up to Saturday’s game literally amounts to them having sent a poor journalist around Tonsberg, ‘defiantly wearing our England shirt and bucket hat’ as he ‘bravely led the way for the Three Lions – by storming a Viking longboat used by Norway’s footballers for a fearsome promo shoot’.

‘The idea may have been to intimidate rivals, but The Sun struck back by claiming the boat for our own,’ it says here. ‘The Sun went into action after the “Viking row” became a common sight in the US, with fans in stadiums and streets taking part.’

Eurgh.

We also have this from the Daily Star:

Sod it, let England v Norway go ahead. But please do not let England v Argentina in a World Cup semi-final be A Thing because if Viking longboats are being ‘stormed’ and runic curses being placed now…

Insult to injury

Behold, the headline to Martin Lipton’s latest Sun match report from the World Cup on another France win:

‘France 2 Morocco 0: Mbappe scores, misses penalty and suffers injury concern as French breeze to World Cup semi-final’

The ‘injury concern’ is detailed at the end of the story, and is covered in its entirety by this single line:

In for the Kyl

That does lead us nicely into this MailOnline doozy:

The ‘outrageous lengths’ were to fly from Blackpool to Nice, talk to Mbappe and his family on a private plane, eat some food and fly back.

Absolutely absurd stuff, we’re sure you’ll agree. But we are now yearning for the days of Mbappe-to-Liverpool Mediawatch-adjacent nonsense yore.

Silence is golden

In an admittedly uber-competitive field, is this the worst example of ‘silence-breaking’ imaginable?

Anthony Gordon breaks silence on Mexico manager’s ‘f*** you’ comment during England World Cup clash – The Sun website.

Anthony Gordon breaks silence on X-rated Mexico ‘compliment’ and Marcus Rashford rivalry’ – Daily Mirror website.

Can there be a ‘silence’ worth ‘breaking’ over a light-hearted exchange? And on the very first occasion the silence-breaker has been asked about it?

We don’t talk about Bruno

Bruno Fernandes might be regretting his arguably actual broken silence on Portugal’s inevitable World Cup demise, because…