England v Argentina in a World Cup semi-final? It’s going to be agony | OneFootball

Nearly 18 million people tuned in to watch England muddle past Norway on ITV over the weekend, so it’s a safe bet that tonight’s World Cup semi-final with Argentina will comfortably top 20 million viewers on the BBC.

Some will be watching this World Cup for the first time. Some might be new to following England in tournaments. If that’s you, welcome. You’re not too late. The World Cup is a book that can be opened at any page, each chapter a distinct challenge, a new puzzle to solve. You don’t need to have watched England toil against Ghana to understand this intense showdown with Argentina.

Perhaps you’re 10 years old watching your first World Cup, in which case absorb it, it will forever be your favourite. Perhaps you don’t usually watch football but the algorithm served up reels of Wonderwall singalongs, Harry’s Kane’s high-pitched interview, John Stones’ party shoulder, and you thought, I need a bit of whatever this is.

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England fans watch the World Cup quarter-final against Norway (Getty)

Come on in. This is where we keep the memories. Mind your step, the floor is littered with trauma. That faded picture on the back wall? That’s Bobby Moore on a throne of shoulders. The dusty statuette in the corner? That’s the old World Cup trophy. Ah, yes, the rake you just stepped on is the physical manifestation of Diego Maradona’s left hand. And the handle that just hit you in the face is his left foot.

Because – and it’s only fair to give some warning here – it hurts to support your team in knockout football, pain spawned from a specific kind of angst that churns your insides. When Alexander Sorloth and Erling Haaland rushed behind England’s defence on Saturday night, and Norway were effectively one pass from the semi-finals, you may have experienced side effects such as rapid swearing or forgetting to breathe. Don’t panic, this is normal.

For each endorphin rush of a Jude Bellingham wondergoal, every serotonin shot of England players singing together arm-in-arm, the dopamine hit of seeing Thomas Tuchel grinning maniacally like a mad scientist in the heat of a highly dangerous experiment, the lows will be deeper, more visceral.

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Jude Bellingham, Harry Kane and Dan Burn sing Wonderwall with their adoring public (PA)

England’s men have played in only two World Cup semi-finals since 1966: there were Paul Gascoigne’s tears and the heartbreak of penalties in 1990; then the extra-time defeat by Croatia in 2018. England fans serenaded the manager with “Southgate, you’re the one” and a nation ached.

This time it’s Argentina, a once-in-a-generation match against a country with which England share a bitter footballing rivalry and an emotive political history. Relations weren’t great before Sir Alf Ramsey described the Argentinians as “animals” after their 1966 quarter-final, but it didn’t help. Then came Maradona’s sin and grace at Mexico 1986, David Beckham’s brush with Diego Simeone in 1998, his restorative penalty in 2002. Twenty-four years later, animosity still simmers. Losing will hurt that little bit more.

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Diego Maradona scores with his hand to give Argentina the lead in their World Cup quarter-final (Getty)

Every defeat leaves an indelible mark, and this is the thing with England: World Cup knockout games are rarely straightforward. They never just… get beaten. In some ways we could take a 3-0 loss on the chin, Argentina were the better side, shake hands, embrace, all the best. But if there’s one thing we already know about England v Argentina in a World Cup semi-final on 15 July in Atlanta, Georgia, it’s that something will happen that people not yet born will debate in pubs 30 years from now.

It’s not so much a football match as a historic event, and historically, England’s World Cup knockout defeats have come down to fine margins, controversial decisions, freakish moments, idiotic mistakes. Sometimes it’s a red card, sometimes it’s penalties. Sometimes it’s both. VAR will probably be more influential than whoever starts at right-back.

See every knockout exit for the past 40 years. Mexico ‘86, the hand of God; Italia ‘90, penalties. France ‘98, Beckham’s red card, penalties. Japan ‘02, Ronaldinho’s lob. Germany ‘06, Rooney’s red card, penalties. South Africa ‘10, Lampard’s ghost goal. Russia ‘18, what if Kane had squared it? Qatar ‘22, what if Kane had scored it?

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England and Argentina have history on and off the field (AFP/Getty)

And because defeat is never simple, because it’s never cut and dried, because hope greets you at the door, takes you out for dinner, kisses you and then never calls, you are left reeling, pondering, wondering. It is a kind of grief for a tournament you used to know. How can they go on without us? Will they still think about us during hydration breaks?

So, if you’re just joining, welcome. The World Cup is still football’s purest form, a place where joy and pain spring fresh from the same well. For all its flaws, this tournament has been absorbing, dreamlike, a cave to happily get lost in. But it’s the hope that kills you. Following England is agony. Six down, two to go. Enjoy the game.