Gareth Southgate aims ‘sly dig’ and come-and-get-me plea to Manchester United at the same time | OneFootball

Gareth Southgate has aimed both a ‘sly dig’ at Manchester United and a ‘nod’ to Sir Jim Ratcliffe over his availability and willingness to work with him.

So quite why his latest comments have been interpreted as anything other than Southgate discussing the current state of football management is unknown.

Journey South

Gareth Southgate taking to LinkedIn to somehow both support and one-up Liam Rosenior’s “if you split the two words it’s ‘man’ and ‘age’ – you’re ageing men” spiel is a great bit.

Those are 14 unimprovable paragraphs on a Leader, Manager, Coach ethos presumably inspired by John Terry, and the modern ‘erosion of a Manager’s authority’. And yes, Southgate obviously capitalises the word ‘manager’. Probably does the same with ‘club’ too, ffs.

Jeremy Cross of the Daily Mirror was among the many to read that Southgate thinkpiece, and he goes with this opening paragraph:

It’s not exactly like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife, is it? Chelsea, Manchester United and Real Madrid have all dispensed with head coaches recently after losing the ‘power struggles’ of which Southgate speaks.

On goes Cross:

Not entirely sure that Steve Holland or his short-term appointment to a new Manchester United coaching staff is emblematic of ‘the current power struggle between managers and club bosses’ but okay.

Cross continues, quoting Southgate:

No.

Cross ends an almost entirely pointless opinion piece by saying that whatever happens at Manchester United going forward, Southgate ‘is keeping himself relevant’.

By posting his thoughts to 29,137 followers on the hub of viral activity that is LinkedIn? Cross’ definition of ‘relevant’ sounds about as accurate as his grasp of ‘ironic’.

It’s all Linked

That Southgate post is manna from heaven for an uncomfortable number of shameless outlets.

The bloke literally wrote about the inherent problems in ‘moving from the title of Manager to Head Coach,’ dismissing the idea it is pure ‘semantics’ and writing:

So yeah, this was no come-and-get-me plea from Southgate, no ‘nod’ to Ratcliffe and Ineos that he is willing to swoop in and rescue them. If that was A Thing then Manchester United would probably have appointed the unemployed man already, instead of just picking his former assistant up for a few months.

We thus get headlines from the likes of usual bastions of reliabilty GBNews, such as ‘Gareth Southgate makes sly dig at Man Utd set-up amid speculation over future aims’.

And the Daily Express website wilfully ignoring Southgate’s point to instead write that he ‘has said he has no problem with directors of football eroding a manager’s authority,’ without stopping even for a second to wonder how batsh*t insane a thing that might be for an actual manager to say.

Happy to confirm what we all suspected: nothing good can possibly ever come of a story based on LinkedIn quotes of all things.

Toney award

Mediawatch does not especially disagree with the general sentiment that there are a handful of Premier League clubs who could do with, as Andy Dunn of the Daily Mirror puts it, ‘the ‘ice-cold finisher’ Ivan Toney.

The bloke scored 20 goals in his last full Premier League season less than three years ago. If he is available and affordable then Your Evertons and The West Hams Of This World could probably do with that level of attacking quality – if indeed it still exists after a season and a half in Saudi.

What Dunn can and should be pulled up on is the feigned surprise that Toney is ‘somehow’ not really part of the England conversation any more.

The 29-year-old does indeed have 18 goals in 24 games for Al-Ahli this season, but eight of those have been penalties and he has not scored or assisted in any of his last four appearances for his club and country as a substitute: the role he absolutely would be still playing for England if he was in the picture.

That feels more pertinent than him making someone look silly with a stoppage-time penalty recently.

But as Dunn writes, Toney’s World Cup hopes are basically ‘non-existent’.

‘They should not be,’ he adds, because ‘Toney’s form and composure surely demands Tuchel take another good look at him,’ since having him in the squad means ‘you are taking a penalty taker of the very, very highest order’.

1) Are England really still doing the ‘make space in the squad specifically for a specialist penalty taker’ in 2026? They’re all quite good at them now; Toney did score in the shoot-out against Switzerland at Euro 2024 but so did everyone else.

England last missed a penalty in the final of Euro 2020. They definitely need to use a squad spot on someone who won’t play unless there is a sniff of a spot kick.

2) When Jordan Henderson moved to Al-Ettifaq, one writer condemned the ‘significantly lower standard of play’ and ‘mediocrity of the Pro League,’ adding that ‘life in the Saudi Pro League means Henderson’s days in an England shirt are surely coming to an end.

‘He cannot go to the Euros on the back of an entire season in Saudi,’ Dunn added back then. If only Henderson had mugged off Mailson of Al-Taawoun; he’d have been an obvious squad pick.

Keeping up with the Joneses

For anyone wondering how Samuel Luckhurst is getting on over at The Sun, his latest ‘Man Utd files’ piece contains more words about Phil Jones being described as a club ‘legend’ in an email to supporters about some sort of charity evening than anything else.