Guardiola quit ‘announcement’ teased ‘within days’ as Manchester United ‘stars’ set for axe | OneFootball

Pep Guardiola will have a fortnight off to consider his Manchester City future; that doesn’t mean anything will be ‘announced within days’

Also, the ‘stars’ description of a handful of Manchester United and Arsenal players is called into question.

And Arne Slot has left Jamie Carragher battered and broken.

More than a revealing

Another year, another Champions League exit to Real Madrid for Pep Guardiola. And with that comes substantial news from the MailOnline.

There are a few different headlines to Jack Gaughan’s exclusive on the Spaniard’s future, such as:

The eye-catching part is based on this one line:

The ‘plan’ is coincidentally for there to be an international break after the Carabao Cup final, so yeah. The Mail have basically exclusively ‘revealed’ that Manchester City won’t play again for 13 days and Guardiola thus has time to kill.

It doesn’t sound like a decision will actually be made either, just that he will ‘take mid-season break’ (like every other manager) and use some of that time to think about his future, as is natural.

Pep talk

The above might seem like an entirely innocuous story, some headline silliness dressing up the obvious as a grand reveal. And it is. But the problem is that outlets like the Daily Mirror website see that ball and run with it.

‘Pep Guardiola’s Man City future to be announced within days as plan set ahead of Arsenal final’ is just absolute nonsense, isn’t it? At no stage in the Mail article is an ‘announcement’ even hinted at. They say Guardiola will go away and review his future, not that a press conference has been booked for Guardiola to go all Jordan Belfort and declare he isn’t f**king leaving.

In the body of their story, the Mirror themselves do not even talk about an ‘announcement’. Because a decision hasn’t been made, and thus the confirmation of one hasn’t been planned. It’s just an awful, clicky headline for the sake of it.

Slot machine

The idea that Arne Slot might have ‘hit back’ at anyone is fun, but the MailOnline insists ‘Arne Slot hits back at Jamie Carragher after his scathing verdict’.

Among this scathing response to Carragher’s criticism are these lines:

It’s difficult to read. Our thoughts are with Jamie, presumably applying ointment on those burns, at this tough moment.

Stars in their eyes

This summer promises to be another busy transfer window for Manchester United and whomever dares replace interim Michael Carrick, the options for which include permanent Michael Carrick.

There will be a great many more signings, but also plenty of outgoings to appease those balance sheets and correct some past mistakes.

So this is an intriguing headline to see from The Sun website:

The mind naturally wanders to precisely who these ‘FOUR stars’ could be – which unfortunate quartet is being turfed out in such a ‘brutal’ way?

And then you’re greeted with this opening paragraph:

That immediately sounds far less ‘brutal’. And considering Mediawatch cannot name four current Manchester United goalkeepers, the idea they all qualify as ‘stars’ feels preposterous.

Andre Onana you can have. Altay Bayindir? Just about but already the boundaries of that description are being pushed uncomfortably far, and we still have two goalkeeper ‘stars’ from Old Trafford to go, and they probably aren’t about to sell Senne Lammens.

And then comes the big reveal:

1) 39-year-old Tom Heaton, the last of whose three Manchester United career appearances came in February 2023, will ‘sit down’ with the club and discuss his future as his contract expires in the summer.

2) Dermot Mee, who ‘is effectively a training keeper’ having made five first-team matchday squads but not his debut since joining in 2015, ‘could be released’.

When such’ stars’ are ‘facing the axe’ of contract negotiations and being let go having never played, it feels like

There are also ’11 Arsenal stars who could be sold as Andrea Berta makes transfer priority clear’, according to the Daily Mirror website.

They are less liberal with their use of the term: Gabriel Martinelli, Benjamin White, Ethan Nwaneri, Myles Lewis-Skelly, Leandro Trossard and Gabriel Jesus all fit the ‘stars’ bill.

You can even just about squeeze Christian Norgaard in there.

But Jakub Kiwior is pushing the ‘star’ boundary a little too far, as is Fabio Vieira and Reiss Nelson. They’re all out on loan; of course they ‘could be sold’.

They know full well they’re taking the p*ss with Karl Hein and his single Arsenal career appearance, though. He’s played even less than Tom bloody Heaton.