Jose Mourinho’s greatest quips: from God’s favourite to time-wasting cows and the “specialist in failure”

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·26 Januari 2026

Jose Mourinho’s greatest quips: from God’s favourite to time-wasting cows and the “specialist in failure”

There haven't been many bigger characters in football than Jose Mourinho. The Portuguese coach has often been box-office, giving football fandom no shortage of iconic quotes and memes.

Here are some ofJose Mourinho's very best headline-grabbing quips

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The Special One

The comment Mourinho will forever be remembered for. Upon his appointment atChelsea, fresh from guiding underdogs FC Porto to Champions League glory, he not-so-humbly announced his arrival in the Premier League.

“Please don’t call me arrogant because what I am saying is true, I’m European champion. I think I’m a special one.”

God

It's not just Jose who has a high opinion of Jose. God does too, apparently.

“He must really think I'm a great guy. He must think that, because otherwise He would not have given me so much. He has helped me out so much that He must have a very high opinion of me.”

Young players

Mourinho's often been accused of not handing opportunities to young players, but he's adamant that's not the case.

Or, of course, he just doesn't like melons...

“Young players are a little bit like melons. Only when you open and taste the melon are you 100 per cent sure that the melon is good.”

George Clooney

Another brilliant example of Mourinho's unwavering self-confidence.

Who better to play The Special One than a multi-time winner of People magazine's Sexiest Man Alive award?

“If they made a film of my life, I think they should get George Clooney to play me. He's a fantastic actor and my wife thinks he would be ideal.

Time-wasting Cows

For man who candidly admits he'll doanything to win, Mourinho hasn't often liked it when rival teams have followed suit. His take on Newcastle United's perceived time-wasting was a classic.

“You may as well put a cow in the middle of the pitch, walking. And then stop the game because there was a cow.”

Wenger the Voyeur

Few people have taken more jibes from Mourinho than Arsene Wenger...

When discussing Wenger's unhappiness withChelsea's pursuit of Ashley Cole, Mourinho likened the Arsenal boss to a Peeping Tom.

“I think he is one of those people who is a voyeur. He likes to watch other people. There are some guys who, when they are at home, have this big telescope to look into the homes of other people."

Specialist in failure

Another barb fired at Wenger branded Arsenal's three-time title-winner a specialist in failure.

“He's a specialist in failure.”

Playing style

Forget playing styles, winning is all that matters in the Mourinho playbook.

“It’s not important how we play. If you have a Ferrari and I have a small car, to beat you in a race I have to break your wheel or put sugar in your tank.”

Harry Potter

He might be special, but he's not magic. Jose was quick to remind theReal Madrid fans of that after a goalless draw with Mallorca.

“Look, I'm a coach, I'm not Harry Potter. He is magical, but in reality, there is no magic. Magic is fiction and football is real.”

The Only One

Mourinho might not be a magician, but he's certainly a musician. One that blows his own trumpet - and loudly.

Sadly for Jose, this nickname didn't last long. Carlo Ancelotti later completed the set of Premier League, La Liga and Serie A, while the Italian also has Bundesliga and Ligue 1 titles to his name...

“Like me or not, I am the only one who won the world's three most important leagues. So, maybe instead of the 'Special One', people should start calling me the 'Only One'”.