Neville’s ‘shock role’ for England at World Cup revealed amid incredible Man Utd midfield masterplan | OneFootball

England’s World Cup preparations have included a ‘shock role’ for Phil Neville, but the big story is the Man Utd midfield masterplan.

World Cup fever is ramping up – although not enough for one poor Sun writer.

And Mikel Arteta has also been ‘rocked’ by something he himself has done.

OK Supercomputer

If England have bothered to stick around for the World Cup after Monday’s crushingly ‘miserable verdict’ on their chances, The Sun‘s mysterious supercomputer might finish the job in sending them back home early.

It ranks England as third favourites behind Spain and France with a probability of 11.3% to win the whole damned thing. Which does, once again, sound really quite decent. And echoes what the actual bookies calculate.

But no, ‘ENGLAND fans have been warned that the nation’s wait for an international trophy may not end this summer’.

They will be stunned to learn that all entrants to a 48-team tournament are not guaranteed to lift the trophy.

No ex-Spence

“Everyone knows how good I am defending one versus one, but going forward is a bit different playing on the left because it’s not my natural side going forward” – Djed Spence.

Neville’s advocate

‘Phil Neville’s shock role for England at World Cup revealed just TWO WEEKS after ex-Man Utd star sacked by MLS team,’ screams one Sun website headline, which is sadly not based on his perennial placing of number 50 on the England ladder.

That ‘shock role’ was, instead, to be one of two English coaches who have recently worked in the United States, who were consulted by Thomas Tuchel about the differences in and challenges posed by the climate, time zones and even traffic.

Really quite sensible stuff then – when one recovers from the ‘shock’ of learning that a former England international who has previously been in the England coaching set-up, including for three years as manager of a women’s team who played two tournaments in the States during that time, was asked to share his expertise on acclimatisation and logistics in terms of coaching in the country he has worked in for the past five years in a 90-minute Zoom call.

This all comes from a grand reveal in the Daily Telegraph, who reported earlier in the week that England had referred to Neville and fellow coach John Herdman during their preparations for the tournament.

The best bit is that neither story in any way refers to *the actual column* Neville wrote for The Times last week detailing *the entire process*, which starts:

So, in summary, this ‘shock role’ is neither shocking, nor in any way actually recent. Aside from that, spot on.

You give me fever

Mediawatch has all the time in the world for Martin Lipton walking around Manhattan on a Monday morning and writing an entire Sun column about how ‘New York has NO appetite for World Cup fever’.

How does he know? Because after ‘scanning the sports pages of the three New York papers yesterday’ and finding ‘no mentions of Harry Kane, Lionel Messi or Ronaldo,’ he saw plenty of reporting on the current NBA playoffs, and New York Yankees and New York Mets, whose MLB seasons are ongoing.

It truly is bizarre for things that are happening right now to get more coverage than something that hasn’t started yet.

Dog’s work

With Lipton on the New York beat, The Sun need someone to tell us that ‘England’s World Cup training base is next to notorious dogging spot loved by randy couples’.

And with Nick Parker presumably no longer allowed to implore the nation to kiss a photo of a footballer’s boot, there is arguably no-one better for the job.

That job, by the way, entails such research as this:

It’s the sort of vital, award-winning journalism only a foreign editor with an incognito browser could carry out.

Taking the Michael

It is also objectively hilarious that Lipton’s lament for the lack of World Cup fever in the United States is chucked halfway down the The Sun‘s homepage, with this story top:

Only Samuel Luckhurst can break the exclusive that Manchester United would actually quite like their midfield to resemble that of the back-to-back European champions and best team in the world if possible, please.

And how will they achieve that? They’ll ‘KOBBLE IT TOGETHER’, move Bruno Fernandes back a bit, sign Ederson for £35m and give Mainoo ‘licence to roam further forward’, with his ‘new role’ that of…a midfielder.

Luckhurst does seem to be of the belief that to ‘create PSG-style midfield’, you simply need to play three midfielders. That is definitely the trick that has won them two Champions Leagues. Luis Enrique will be furious now his secret is out.

It feels like a slight simplification of how good Vitinha, Fabian Ruiz and Joao Neves are as a unit and individuals. But fair play to the perceptive Michael Carrick, who ‘considers the Iberians to be the benchmark amid United’s midfield overhaul’.

The breaking news here is that someone thinks the best team in the world is good. But also that he thinks they can be copied just by moving one player back a bit, one player forward a bit, and signing someone who couldn’t get into Brazil’s World Cup squad ahead of a 32-year-old Fabinho or the 34-year-old he’s replacing at club level.

Sh*thouse headline of the day

‘Trent Alexander-Arnold Liverpool reunion to be announced as four-year deal is signed’ – Liverpool Echo.

That truly is one way of saying that Ibrahima Konate is joining Real Madrid.

Insult to injury

‘Mikel Arteta rocked as key staff member leaves Arsenal just weeks after stunning Premier League title win’ – The Sun website.

That truly is one way of saying that Arsenal have sacked their head doctor after an Arteta-led review into their injury problems this season.

Not sure the bloke who commissioned that review will be particularly ‘rocked’ by one of the consequences.