Newcastle ‘remove all reference’ to Guimaraes in definite Arsenal transfer update | OneFootball

Arsenal are the latest club to complete all the transfers this specific week for some reason, while Newcastle have airbrushed Bruno Guimaraes.

Nonsense, ahoy.

Gi whiz

‘Gianni Infantino controversy takes big overnight twist as plan to ‘paralyse’ chief leaks’ – Daily Express website.

That is, in all fairness, a quite considerable ‘twist’. Also a bit drastic, even if we aren’t the biggest fans of old Gianni. Just get Binface in instead.

The joys of six

Fans of Mediawatch passim will enjoy this from the Daily Express website:

That’s still less than Tottenham’s eight and Manchester United’s seven, although more than Liverpool’s five transfers in what promises to be an utterly preposterous week.

You might expect some of those 26 transfers to be completed on Monday, just to ease the pressure on the remaining six days. You might also be an idiot who should shut up.

Cut off your own nose despite your face

Another candidate for one of those Spurs deals has been revealed by The Sun:

You mean his 10 Arsenal appearances don’t preclude him from joining Spurs? Can Donald Trump have a word?

We don’t talk about Bruno

One of those six Arsenal transfers might but definitely won’t be the signing of Bruno Guimaraes, whose interminable move continues to stutter and stumble towards inevitable completion.

The latest non-update comes from The Sun website with this:

And immediately the alarm bells are ringing. Either Newcastle have removed all reference to Guimaraes or they have not. It is not possible for them to have simply ‘appeared’ to do so. It also seems vanishingly unlikely that they would go to such lengths to airbrush Guimaraes when he has just joined up with his current team-mates on a pre-season training camp in Spain.

By the way, ‘Newcastle appear to remove all reference to Bruno Guimaraes from St James’ Park’ actually just translates to them taking down a single banner outside the stadium. And the only possible inference is that Guimaraes to Arsenal is done, not that Newcastle wanted a picture of a player in the new kit with the sponsor actually on the shirt instead.

Jacob Murphy was also on the previous banner next to Guimaraes. Is his move to Arsenal basically confirmed now too?

Express delivery

In other Bruno news, we have this from the Daily Express website:

The first line, about Manchester United identifying a potential replacement for Fernandes, comes from one throwaway line towards the end of a Daily Mail longread which reads thus:

That is the update in its entirety, apparently enough to headline a live transfer blog with a months-old transfer rumour.

Sale away, sale away, sale away

It is difficult to disagree with the general premise in Samuel Luckhurst’s Sun column about how Manchester United ‘are paying the price for years of a sub-par approach to sales’ and have long struggled to extract as much money for their players as your Chelseas and the Manchester Citys of this world might.

But it seems weird to write an entire piece chastising Manchester United, saying ‘the lack of sales are hurting them’ when it comes to signing players, and claiming that ‘the Red Devils’ only senior sale agreed has been 21-year-old Tyler Fredricson’, while basically ignoring the £38m received for Rasmus Hojlund from Napoli this summer.

They also got £10m or so from Mason Greenwood’s move to Fenerbahce. They seem to be alright.

Wouldn’t say Bou to a goose

It has to be said that ‘Ayyoub Bouaddi ‘reaches full agreement’ as Liverpool target closes on mega-money transfer’ is one way to report on a Manchester City signing.

One way if you are the Liverpool Echo and every transfer means more, of course.

Farke’s ache

A message to The Sun website: not sure your headline can possibly start ‘Leeds boss Daniel Farke fumes’ when the quotes within include the phrase, “all jokes aside”.

Renovate good times, come on

‘Champions League stadium to look unrecognisable after £171m renovation’ – The Sun website.

You would hope so.

Wags to riches

A challenge for you, dear reader: see if you can spot what particular theme The Sun website has landed upon in its Arsenal transfer coverage. It’s a difficult one to spot so best of luck:

That second story features this impossibly brilliant non sequitur: