Manchester United hatch brilliant plan to avoid Champions League ‘nightmare scenario’ | OneFootball

Manchester United, ‘the biggest losers’ of a damaging midweek in which they didn’t even play, have an incredible Champions League plan.

David Beckham has also absolutely not waded in on Paul Scholes’ latest episode of being middle-aged on social media.

But both Piero Hincapie and Eddie Howe have definitely ‘hit back’.

Becks appeal

Mediawatch has all the time in the world for the MailOnline doing the old obfuscatory picture trick to their leading story on Friday morning.

Here is the headline:

And the image has David Beckham front and centre, the ‘former Man United team-mate’ your eyes are drawn to most, with Nicky Butt’s face just about visible in the background.

The idea that Beckham would have taken time out from his busy schedule to discuss – probably on a podcast, probably hosted by Peter Kay – how Scholes took the public response to his Instagram post about Carrick, is sensational.

By lunchtime, the image has been changed to one in which Roy Keane is comfortably most prominent, with Scholes and Butt again barely noticeable in the background.

It is at least a little bit more likely that Keane would wade in. But you fear for the reach of the The Good, The Bad and The Football Podcast, you really do.

Dreams can come true

Perhaps in direct response to the ‘scary’ ‘nightmare scenario’ facing the ‘biggest losers’ of the Premier League’s general European humbling this week, the Manchester Evening News seek to alleviate any concerns:

Thank your deity of choice for Tyrone Marshall, who quite presciently points out that third-placed Manchester United ‘should be good enough to finish in the top four from here, and whatever else happens, that would guarantee them a return to the Champions League’.

A 582-word explainer which ultimately boils down to ‘Manchester United should simply finish in the top four’ is definitely entirely necessary.

Brown source

The following are all excerpts from Samuel Luckhurst exclusives in The Sun:

‘They’re currently monitoring England stars Elliot Anderson, Adam Wharton and Alex Scott…United are also keeping tabs on Brighton midfielder Carlos Baleba’ – January 23.

‘The club are interested in Nottingham Forest linchpin Elliot Anderson, Adam Wharton of Crystal Palace, Brighton enforcer Carlos Baleba and Alex Scott at Bournemouth’ – January 13.

‘United have been tracking Premier League talents Elliot Anderson, Adam Wharton, Carlos Baleba and Alex Scott amid a planned overhaul of their midfield’ – December 22.

It has been seven weeks since Luckhurst last revealed Manchester United would quite like to sign at least one of Anderson, Wharton, Scott and Baleba so Mediawatch was understandably really rather worried. But March 13 brings sweet, sweet relief.

Good to have you back, Samuel. Except this actually is completely new information that he is remarkably giddy to divulge (Luckhurst refers to ‘United sources’, ‘sources’ and ‘well-placed sources’ in three of five paragraphs midway through the story).

Because Manchester United – and please, dear reader, be seated for this bombshell – are also fans of Sandro Tonali.

That interest has been public knowledge for years; reports in Italy suggested Manchester United were eyeing Tonali last May.

But Luckhurst might be the first put all those targets together in one list so let him have an ‘exclusive’ which basically amounts to one of the biggest and richest clubs in the world, currently third in the Premier League and famously planning for a midfield overhaul, like some of the excellent midfielders performing well lower in a division they bought from heavily last summer.

It’s the sort of stuff you only get from ‘well-placed sources’.

Merse code

‘Paul Merson makes bold title race prediction for Arsenal and Man City – ‘Game over!” is a Daily Mirror website headline which promises rather a lot.

Is he backing an almighty Gunners’ bottlejob? Does he still think Aston Villa have to be mentioned in the conversation? It is a ‘bold title race prediction’ so the mind really does wander.

Let’s hear it from the man himself:

So Merson’s ‘bold title race prediction’ is that Arsenal will have it wrapped up if there lead is nine or ten points with seven games remaining. He’s really stuck his neck on the line there.

Piero pressure

You know the drill with this Daily Mirror website headline:

How many times does Piero Hincapie mention or even just vaguely refer to the man he is ‘hitting out’ at? Precisely zero. Which is also as often as he weirdly shouts “we don’t do anything illegal!”.

Howe about that?

On which note, this is immediately identifiable nonsense from the MailOnline:

Eddie Howe has never ‘hit back’ at anything in his life. He’ll have tied them in LinkedIn-shaped knots and nothing more. But sod it, we’re intrigued now:

Well exactly. Nothing says ‘hits back’ quite like “my perception is that he does face a lot of scrutiny”.