The Celtic Star
·27 ottobre 2025
Sandman’s Definitive Ratings – Honeyball v Celtic
Sandman’s Definitive Ratings – Honeyball v Celtic | OneFootball
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SANDMAN’S DEFINITIVE RATINGS: HONEYBALL v CELTIC
“Every calamity is to be overcome by endurance.” – Virgil (Not Van Dyk…)
Celtic Huddle at Tynecastle. Hearts v Celtic, 26 October 2025. Photo Vagelis Georgariou (The Celtic Star)
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THE FRIENDLY GHOST – 6/10 – What a save! Not good enough for some, though, as he scrambled round from his net entanglement to see the big daft kid smash it back past him. Totally raging at his withering defence for the unstoppable second, made a good effort at saving Shankland’s penalty. No fault to lay at Kasper’s door.
MELLOW YELLOW – 4.5/10 – Raw, but at least enthusiastic and committed; plucked like a chicken at their second, but recovered and persisted in attempting to salvage something.
KATIE – 5/10 – Looked like powerhouse KT had returned with a terrific overlap and alert cutback for our equaliser. But faded poorly after the break with the collective when he should have been an assertive on-field leader, demanding standards were raised.
OF JUSTICE – 4.5/10 – Ach, Liam, hero of the Euro, gormless of Gorgie. Highlight of his game, calling the MIB a ‘Shank’ on camera. The same noun could have been used as an adjective to describe his performance after that; spooked by his defensive partner and indecisive when we required a boss on the backline.
GREAT – 1/10 – Not so great at all. And not easy to be the blunderkid of the season’s biggest domestic game to date. But it all went wrong from the first whistle. “Have it!” he yelled as he leathered in the opener like a bedlamite with rickets. ‘Don’t have it at all…’ he mused, refusing to stick a leg out and block the second. ‘Truck it,’ he thought, blundering in to gift the penalty. All over the place mentally and physically, and far too much time on the ball for the good of the team as his process of thought and action isn’t up to pace. It’s nearly Halloween, kid, go watch, ‘The Nightmare Before Christmas’ – it’s your highlights package.
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Callum McGregor’s equaliser…Hearts v Celtic, 26 October 2025. Photo Vagelis Georgariou (The Celtic Star)
CALMAC – 7/10 MOTM – One shining light – the skipper’s heroic effort to save the season. Brilliant play to score, and on-point aggression to counter Hearts’ nippy wee koala. Shame the rest of the side couldn’t find in it them to take any inspiration from their captain in that dreadful second 45.
THE TERMINATOR – 4/10 – Wherefore art thou, Arne? Looked the part when we surged back into the game, taking control of the mid with Calmac. But after the break? Deliveries went to hell and he appeared spooked by the ghastly display of Halloween masks in the crowd. For a bhoy that often exudes arrogance, there seemed a bit of a confidence crisis going on.
HAKUNA HATATE – 2.5/10 – Ghost in the machine. When Reo doesn’t click these days, he’s lost in the shimmering fury of a midfield battle. Today, we waited… And waited. And he wandered and wandered, and eventually wandered off.
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NEGAN – 3/10 – He’s Swedish, yes, but he’s not Henrik Swedish. So blast it into the roof of the net. It’s a fine line between zero and hero, and despite the deftest of touches his immediate attempt thereafter at smartarsery became game-defining; we miss the chance to take the lead and sicken them, they get invigorated at a perceived miracle-save and momentum swings. Even so, around that moment he was very much the invisible man.
TUTANKHAMUN – 4.5/10 – There were moments. Flurries of inspiration. But it was always, ‘Did you see it, or didn’t you?’ up to his departure as the elusive final ball or clean heels run never transpired; though would have left him on to give us a slugger’s chance.
KENNY JOHNNY – 2/10 – His big opportunity. Be the focal point, the rapier striker. Ended up like watching a greyhound with head trauma chasing a beach ball in a storm.
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SUBS –
FEIN – 6/10 – Not saying it’s much but he did more in his stint than his predecessor had managed all game, and when we were on top. Put himself around, nearly got on the end of a few chances, glorious take-down out of sky only to be denied by a brave block. He looks as though he could offer something. His elite manager doesn’t share that opinion…
Michel-Ange Balikwisha. Hearts v Celtic, 26 October 2025. Photo Vagelis Georgariou (The Celtic Star)
BALIKMORY – N/A – He does understand he’s allowed to run forward? With the ball?
JAMESY – 6/10 – Jamesy usually thrives in Edinburgh but despite Celtic’s ghod of fertility injecting some zip and sharp play, his team-mates remained impotent.
HIGHLAND TOFFEE – 6/10 – Would you Luke at that – Luke’s shown the rest of them how to take a shot. Another of the sub trio that really should be starting next week for their laudable efforts to look like they cared.
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Brendan Rodgers talks to the media after the match. Hearts v Celtic, 26 October 2025. Photo Vagelis Georgariou (The Celtic Star)
THE NOTAPRODDYGAL – 2/10 – “We started the second-half well…” We lost two goals in the first ten minutes of it, for heaven’s sake. “I’m working night and day to get the best out of my squad.” No you’re not. You’re probably hoping now that Wolves can their hapless no-wins boss because you’ve got a nice empty gaff in the Midlands you’d prefer to escape to. I know I am.
That after match presser almost – but not quite – trumped the pre-match reasoning for selecting big sleepy puppy Murray over SIX MILLION spend Trusty, ex-EPL and U.S.A international: “Dane’s right-footed so we didn’t want two left-footers in there. Y’know, for the sake of balance.”
That might have the Brendanistas cry-shanking over mystical tactical insight, but I’ll tell you what it really is – a phish-talking grifter thinking the logic of a 12-year-old picking his FIFA team would mug-off a support with access to the internet; I’ll rest my case with the Champions League starting eleven for the heroic awaday 0-0 battle against top Italian swashbucklers, Atalanta. Central defence pairing – Scales and… Wait for it… Wait for it… Trusty.
Off you pop, Brendan.
MIBBERY – 2/10 – Laughing all the way to the ludge tonight, without even breaking sweat. Shameful, Celtic.
OVERALL – 3.5/10 – So Thursday wasn’t a defining moment in the season, after all. It wasn’t the turning point we’d hoped. With dread, it now looms like a highlight of a tortuous campaign. After the start we feared, the Bhoys looked like they’d remembered they were Champions and decided to slap Edinburgh’s wee diet mongrels around their own kennels. Shaky as we were, going forward we looked dangerous and full of intent, led by a skipper with a snarl.
So what happened at half-time? Did somebody lace the Pina Coladas with bromide? We completely lost the urge, lost any momentum, and ambled around like bewildered inmates from One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest on a day outing, poor Calmac playing McMurphy to his team-mates’ ineptitude.
Big screen at Tynecastle. Hearts v Celtic, 26 October 2025. Photo Vagelis Georgariou (The Celtic Star)
Hearts, though without finesse, still deserved their victory – hungrier, more dynamic, expressing a competitive edge we failed to match sufficiently, us just relying on sporadic patches of quality to get anything. Ghod knows what happens now – we’re running out of time to find consistency and players in-form enough and good enough to re-assert domination.
If you want a real sign of how bad it’s become, note that the comedy club across the city are now within two wins of us. That’s absurd as a duck-billed Platypus sneaking up on a Bengal Tiger, and there’s a good chance the jungle cat isn’t going to wake up in time. Get your act together, Celtic.
Go Away Now
Sandman
Celtic in the Eighties by David Potter, signed copies by Danny McGrain available from celticstarbooks.com
Don’t miss the chance to purchase the late, great Celtic historian David Potter’s final book. All remaining copies have been signed by the legendary Celtic captain Danny McGrain PLUS you’ll also receive a FREE copy of David Potter’s Willie Fernie biography – Putting on the Style, and you’ll only be charged for postage on one book. Order from Celtic Star Books HERE.
Celtic in the Eighties and Willie Fernie – Putting on the Style both by David Potter. Photo The Celtic Star
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