16 Conclusions on the World Cup final: abysmal Argentina, pathetic Fernandez, brilliant Spain, weird HT show | OneFootball

Spain were laughably deserving winners of a ridiculously American World Cup final against an abysmal Argentina and their childish players.

Now drive me away from all this madness, unendingly smiling OG Ronaldo.

1) “Sadly, they played very dirty. So much so that they should have been down to nine immediately, then they made two [such] ugly and hard tackles that even I felt the damage.

“This ugly, vulgar, hard, hermetic, hardly eye-catching, hardly football style… If with this they got satisfaction, fine, but they lost. They were playing anti-football.”

Johan Cryuff would not have felt the same nationalistic shame as in 2010, but the primary advocate for and arbiter of Total Football’s sense of embarrassment, mortification and justice eventually, belatedly, finally, thankfully served would have been similar, if not stronger.

There is no mystery as to how and why facing Spain in a World Cup final provokes such a painfully small-time approach, but if La Roja had a gold star above their crest for every time they have reduced an intensely proud, identity-driven country to the simplest of inferiority complexes on the most global of stages, well…

At least the Dutch mixed some attacking endeavour in with their absurdly physical gameplan a decade and a half ago. Argentina must be ‘privately stunned’ at how utterly abysmal they were in making England’s semi-final surrender look adventurous by comparison.

2) It is remarkable that the final two games of the tournament panned out in pretty much exactly the only ways that could make England’s defeat to Argentina look worse.

Bukayo Saka scoring a hat-trick in a largely meaningless 6-4 win having not been brought on at all in the semi-final was bad enough. But the fact England felt compelled to retreat in deference to and fear of this opponent – after taking the lead! – was made all the more baffling by how unfathomably poor Argentina were here for the entire 120 minutes.

3) In hindsight, this preposterously one-sided World Cup final was imbued with an inexorable 2010 final energy the moment Andres Iniesta removed the trophy from its official Louis Vuitton bespoke luxury trunk and presented it to a self-anointed – and almost entirely silent – 80,000-plus full house, before Tom Cruise embarked on an apparently unironic speech about how football is a “language spoken without words”, and that this has been “a tournament that brought the world together” (unless you’re from Iran), while Nicole Scherzinger and Robbie Williams in a blue sequined tracksuit vaguely melodiously suggested “you’ve got the ball and you’re driven by dеsire” (unless you’re from Argentina), and a ludicrous amount of Buffers screamed a ten-second countdown into existence for a kick-off that was ultimately delayed by six minutes.

Spain were always going to win 1-0 with an extra-time goal. And the United States should be barred from every hosting anything ever again.

4) That had nothing on a half-time show which featured: Ronaldinho and a mildly confused Ronaldo driving Madonna onto the pitch in a hilariously impractical jeep; The Muppets, sans Enzo Fernandez, performing Seven Nation Army; a curiously melancholic Justin Bieber performance; some Chris Martin; Shakira further strengthening a World Cup legacy which outstrips most of the game’s greatest players; a FIFA rule-bending break of 27 minutes between play; and Wayne Rooney underlining his evolution as a genuinely decent pundit with a fine summary.

Can I just shock you? I like Wayne. Despite what I said earlier.

5) Had Rooney swapped “artists” for “Argentina players”, one would have struggled to produce a more succinct, accurate synopsis of the first half.

Lionel Scaloni’s side committed more fouls (nine) than they had completed passes ending in the attacking third in the opening 45 minutes. Alexis Mac Allister evaded a booking for an early scissor-like slide on Dani Olmo, while Nicolas Tagliafico bundled about four offences into one particular touchline mugging of Lamine Yamal, including a scrape of the studs down the teenager’s leg, without receiving a yellow card.

The infuriatingly higher baseline for Argentina players to face punishment was pushed to its limits in the semi-final, with forearms in the back of the head a particularly egregious early allowance because of passion and some nebulous need to protect the flow of a game the South Americans would much rather ebb.

In short: this manner of humiliating defeat could not have been inflicted upon a more worthy team, which took its medicine predictably well by incurring a second red card after full time by picking fights which didn’t really exist, against a champion they refused to acknowledge after Spain spent two hours rising above the aggravation and patting Argentina on the head.

6) It was an especially uncomfortable and fittingly brief encapsulation of Lisandro Martinez.

In the space of three minutes just before the break, the Manchester United centre-half was booked for scything down Mikel Oyarzabal to prevent a counter-attack, then substituted with an apparent thigh injury.

There will likely be no renewed dig at Gary Neville from a player who, in as kind terms as possible, simply cannot be trusted consistently at this level by club or country anymore.

7) Nor can Fernandez, albeit for different reasons.

The nature of this Argentina display means there were not ten heroic lions to juxtapose against one stupid boy. But the Chelsea midfielder played the latter role impeccably anyway, receiving one yellow card for dissent – then immediately clapping the referee – before sealing his dismissal ten minutes later in second-half stoppage time with a comically late challenge on the brilliant Pau Cubarsi that he had the audacity and nerve to appeal.

It couldn’t have happened to a nicer bloke. Fernandez let his country down and for the first time at this World Cup, it seemed like the globe was united in celebrating the misery of someone so genuinely deeply unlikeable.

8) Lionel Messi grassing on Marc Cucurella in a futile attempt to get the Spain defender sent off for fleetingly covering his mouth in the aftermath of the Fernandez red was degrading enough in itself.

It was the most influence Messi exerted on the game, his pleas falling on deaf ears as the conspiracy and the dream of a second World Cup crumbled around him.

One masterclass in collectively stifling his space and nullifying his excellence was all it took to render the greatest footballer the world has ever seen an insecure, desperate mess willing to debase himself to unjustifiably level a playing field Argentina never once showed any intent of playing on anyway.

9) Messi’s only touch in the opening 15 minutes was the kick-off. He ended up having Argentina’s first shot: in the 117th minute, from outside the area, and immediately blocked by Mikel Merino’s face.

Spain conceded a single goal all tournament – the fewest ever for a champion – and became only the fourth World Cup winner not to trail at any point. Emi Martinez made more saves in the final than Unai Simon did all summer.

If attack is the best form of defence, possession can be the key to both when harnessed properly. Spain controlled a two-hour game almost completely through their bravery on the ball and knowledge that on the precious few occasions they inevitably lost it, their structure, organisation and cohesion was such that it would almost instantly return.

Argentina had an average of 60.8 per cent possession and a 90.4 per cent pass accuracy in their seven games leading to the final, in which those numbers crashed to 34.9 per cent and 77 per cent respectively. Spain’s statistics were congruous with the rest of their summer.

One team played their usual game. The other was forced to adapt and never came close.

10) Key to that was Rodri, a deserving Golden Ball winner very possibly fuelled in the final by what would have been a biblical sore loser post-match interview if Argentina had somehow emerged victorious.

The Manchester City midfielder was never going to let that happen. He orchestrated this victory with calm authority on the ball and tireless work off it, making more tackles than any player and not even switching off for the trophy lift, tactically fouling Donald Trump as far out of the triumphant picture as he could.

11) “I said to him, and he maybe struggled to understand, it’s not about six, seven, eight months out, then playing and being the Rodri of before. No. Do you know when Rodri will be good? At the World Cup with Spain. At the World Cup he will be the best Rodri.”

Pep Guardiola might have a future in this business.

Rodri is now the seventh player to win the World Cup, Champions League, Ballon d’Or and their international continental title. His status as one of the greats is secured.

12) A World Cup final played in broad daylight does not look right.

13) Another considerable contrast between the two teams was in the effectiveness of their substitutions.

Scaloni was forced into at least a couple of his Argentina changes, including those of his starting centre-halves. Both Martinez and Cristian Romero made way in regular time, and while they had no foothold in the game at any stage, such fundamental alterations to the team did essentially prevent momentum being built.

Nicolas Otamendi was poor when he came on. Nahuel Molina wasn’t much better. Nor was Facundo Medina. Leandro Paredes should have been sent off during the game rather than for the bitter nonsense that came after, and what Giuliano Simeone offered in energetic abundance he took away in technical quality.

The son of Diego was Argentina’s only attacking substitution. They had settled on trying to force a penalty shoot-out long before Marcos Senesi replaced Julian Alvarez in their final change. Spain’s goal three minutes later meant their deficit-chasing team resembled the sort of mess they reduced England to in the semis.

14) But Spain’s winner was set up and scored by players who came off the bench, while Pedri and Martin Zubimendi were able to propagate their midfield control and Eric Garcia was solid in his cameo.

Mikel Merino changed the game too. But it was Nico Williams and Ferran Torres who swung the pendulum most definitively.

Torres channelled his inner Iniesta, slamming a Williams knockdown into the roof of the net to intertwine a personal growth with a national triumph. Having “entered a bottomless pit” at the end of his first Barcelona season, seeking the help of a psychologist after the unique pressures of succeeding in the Camp Nou, Torres has delivered a second World Cup to Spain.

Yet the biggest switch was arguably Williams, whose back-post header from Pedro Porro’s cross set Torres up for the grand finale. With Yamal tormenting Tagliafico on the other side, the Athletic Bilbao winger wreaked a similar level of havoc to that which defined the Euro 2024 final.

Spain might well have found a way without him, but Williams shifted the needle just enough to make sure. He should have scored from a header, did score from a scramble of sorts but had it disallowed for reasons, and then unleashed upon this final a baffling attempt at skill when clean through at 1-0 up that had Luis de la Fuente screaming on the touchline.

15) It was, ultimately, a World Cup final between two teams who could not beat Cape Verde over 90 minutes.

De La Fuente preached “calm” and a need to “keep growing” into the tournament after that shock goalless opener, adding that “this team is reliable” and would improve once Yamal, Williams and Olmo were fully fit.

The Spain manager later said the draw “made us better” and their increased ability to erode low blocks since suggests it did help.

Argentina engaged in a nonsensical slug fest with the same team, the sort this run to the final was characterised by. They took the wrong lessons entirely from that experience, believing this coronation to be fated and Messi’s magic to be enough. Spain listened and learned.

16) “The best part was when it finished,” Rooney added in his scathing half-time show critique, doubling up as an acerbic assessment of an eminently forgettable final.

As perhaps the wisest man once said: “It’s the World Cup, hallelujah. It’s the World Cup, hallelujah.”

It really was the World Cup, hallelujah. A pretty decent one, all in all, in spite of a really quite dreadful host who should never be granted the opportunity again.