Sandman’s Definitive Ratings – Celtic v Stoned-Apis | OneFootball

SANDMAN’S DEFINITIVE RATINGS: CELTIC v STONED-APIS

Celtic goalkeeper Kasper Schmeichel Celtic v Hibernian, Scottish Premiership, Celtic Park, 27 September 2025. Photo IMAGO Stuart Wallace IMAGO Shutterstock

THE FRIENDLY GHOST – 6/10 – The silent protest couldn’t match how quiet Kasper’s afternoon was. One straight forward stop, a narrow escape, and the rest of the game spent calculating how many minutes this season he’s been standing hands on hips waiting in vain for the opposite net to bulge.

Marcelo Saracchi of Celtic crosses the ball beyond Chris Cadden of Hibernian. Celtic v Hibernian, Scottish Premiership, Celtic Park, 27 September 2025. Photo Stuart Wallace IMAGO Shutterstock

SCRATCHY – 7.5/10 MOTM – The Uruguayan Charlie Manson’s got a bit of dynamism about him. Not sure what I expected but it was less than he produced; intelligent runs and use of the ball, superb deliveries, and he’s got a left boot like a traction engine – fairly lashed that one off the bar. Let’s hope this was just a regular day at the Spahn Movie Ranch for him and not a psychotic episode. If so, KT’s got some proper competition.

Anthony Ralston of Celtic tackled by Josh Campbell of Hibernian Celtic v Hibernian, Scottish Premiership, Celtic Park, 27 September 2025. Photo Stuart Wallace IMAGO Shutterstock

TONY THE TIGER – 6.5/10 – The Brickie doesn’t shirk the call – the quintessential fan in a jersey gave his all and almost augmented it with some sparkling moments. But the finesse wasn’t there at crucial times when we’ve previously seen the Ralston killer ball.

Kieran Bowie of Hibernian challenged by Liam Scales of Celtic Celtic v Hibernian, Scottish Premiership, Celtic Park, 27 September 2025. Photo Stuart Wallace IMAGO Shutterstock

OF JUSTICE – 7/10 – A challenge for Liam – up against the SPL’s most complimentary and troublesome strike force. If ever the Ginger Baresi would have his wits tested domestically it was through Susan Boyle’s mezzo-soprano notes and Davie Bowie’s strangely androgynous alter-egos, not to mention trying to work out where those different-coloured eyes were glancing next…

Wait a minute. Wrong Boyle and Bowie.

Yeah… Eh, pace and physicality, that’s it – a handful of a duo but Liam exhibited a reassuring prowess not always appreciated by the casual observer; his anticipation and movement was terrific, mirroring his opponents and allowing him to be on them like white on rice.

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Cameron Carter-Vickers of Celtic reacts after Referee Don Robertson showed him a yellow card for a challenge on Kieran Bowie of Hibernian. Celtic v Hibernian, Scottish Premiership, Celtic Park, 27 September 2025. Photo Stuart Wallace IMAGO Shutterstock

GET CARTER – 7/10 – Tackle of the season. Textbook-perfect slide, feet on the ground, cleaning out ball and man. Penalised. Booked. Get lost. Like his defensive counterpart, the big mhan got a good workout against the polarised cultural icons. Kept him occupied and alert for the 90, which is a tune-up bonus for the coming matches.

Celtic captain Callum McGregor looks frustrated at full-time. Final score Celtic 0 Hibernian 0. Celtic v Hibernian, Scottish Premiership, Celtic Park, 27 September 2025. Photo Stuart Wallace IMAGO Shutterstock

CALMAC – 7/10 –  Calmac the way he was meant to be – henchmen around him, not invisible. Allowed the skipper to rotate the ball sharply, probe excessively, and wonder like the rest of us how Hibs survived.

THE TERMINATOR – 6.5/10 –  As above – facilitates his captain’s best game. It’s about Engel’s positional play, Playstation FIFA-generation chumps, not his nerdy stats or X flaming G or YMCA or whatever else perks their peenies. Simply this – compliment the dictator with an able and capable vizier and we’ll dominate. Oh, and how Arne didn’t nail the winner with that eight-yard stab is known only to the secret society of flukey goalies.

HIGHLAND TOFFEE – 6/10 – Luke at that starting eleven! It IS Luke! And he did alright; certainly more involved than we’ve seen Reo this season, appearing confident and guileful. Just faded second 45 when we could really have done with his can-opening feet.

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