Ranking the 7 worst football statues we’ve ever seen: Messi, Ronaldo, Michael Jackson… | OneFootball

Lionel Messi & Cristiano Ronaldo are just two iconic footballers who have been immortalised by some of the worst statues ever seen.

The rush to commemorate the sport’s greatest stars and club legends alike have produced some truly horrific sculptures.

We’ve ranked the seven worst statues in football history, with each one more horrific than the next. You might want to wash your eyes after these…

7. Lionel Messi (Kolkata)

This recently unveiled statue of Messi in India isn’t the worst likeness on this list – although, if you squint, it does kind of look like Cristiano Ronaldo.

But the 70-foot size is something else. Indians love football more than you’d expect, but the national team is a shambles while resources are diverted towards eyesores like this.

6. Alan Shearer (Newcastle)

The one thing you’d associate with Shearer the footballer, apart from using his elbows without a licence, was his meat-and-potatoes goal celebration.

So we don’t know why the sculptors went freestyle with Shearer’s right hand. Not like there were 260 Premier League goals to use as inspiration.

5. Mohamed Salah (Sharm El-Sheikh)

We congratulate Jimmy Krankie on his eight-and-a-half years at Liverpool, winning every major trophy and becoming one of the best players in the club’s history.

Or maybe the Egyptians contracted this Salah statue to a certain Arne Slot, who was conveniently between jobs when his monstrosity was unveiled in 2018?

4. Michael Essien (Kumasi)

Rumours that this statue of Essien was based on a print from a screenshot of Sensible Soccer remain sadly unconfirmed.

3. Ted Bates (Southampton)

Bates served Southampton as a player, manager, director and president which earned him the sobriquet “Mr. Southampton”.

Which made the likeness of his 2007 statue to Milan Mandaric, the former chairman of hated rivals Portsmouth, both extremely unfortunate and extremely funny.

A replacement was quickly knocked up and unveiled a year later.

2. Cristiano Ronaldo (Aeroporto da Madeira)

Ronaldo might have lost the GOAT argument to Lionel Messi (which he definitely has), but he arguably has the most infamous statue in football history.

The bust of Ronaldo’s face was unveiled at a ceremony to rename the Portuguese island Madeira’s airport after the then Real Madrid player. Cue social media meltdown.

Comparisons to Niall Quinn were made, whilst the creator of the statue, Emanuel Santos, had to defend his work.

Santos said: “This is a matter of taste, so it is not as simple as it seems. What matters is the impact that this work generated.”

1. Michael Jackson (Fulham)

Former Fulham chairman Mohamed Al-Fayed commissioned the 7.5ft statue of Jackson in 2011 and it stood outside Craven Cottage for two years before being removed by current Fulham owner Shahid Khan.

Al-Fayed and Jackson were close friends with the statue planned to be seen outside of Harrods, which the Egyptian owned at the time, after the popstar’s death in 2009.

But the businessman sold the department store and Fulham became the surreal owners of the plaster and resin statue.