Carrick cannot avoid Manchester United sack after worst possible ‘feel-good factor’ assessment

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·10 April 2026

Carrick cannot avoid Manchester United sack after worst possible ‘feel-good factor’ assessment

Michael Carrick has been consigned to the Manchester United sack by a harbinger of mood-evaluating doom who thinks rondos are woke.

Just when things were going well for Carrick, Samuel Luckhurst has delivered a positive assessment of the Manchester United atmopshere.

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But first, some Mo Salah weirdness.

I believe in miracles

For Ian Ladyman of the Daily Mail, ‘it was clear that’ Mo Salah ‘was never going to play in Paris’ when he ‘was still left on the field for all but the final 14 minutes’ of the FA Cup quarter-final defeat to Manchester City.

It would have been nice for him to clue us all in on this sooner than after the event, but still.

It also seems harsh to say Salah ‘shot so poorly across goal that the ball went out for a throw-in’ in that game, thus completely and conveniently ignoring Abdukodir Khusanov’s block.

But the most questionable paragraph penned by Ladyman is this:

‘My guess is that Salah starts next week against PSG at home in the second leg. A 2-0 goal deficit is not insurmountable and maybe, just maybe, Salah may detect the smell of Barcelona 2019 in his nostrils. That was the night a 0-3 problem became a 4-3 aggregate work of art and Salah still has his name written right through that miracle.’

Considering Salah played as many minutes of that second leg against Barcelona in 2019 as he did in the first leg against PSG this week, that seems a strange thing to say.

Does Salah really have ‘his name written right through that miracle’ when he was sidelined with a concussion? Divock Origi, Georginio Wijnaldum and Trent Alexander-Arnold want a word. Hell, Xherdan Shaqiri too.

Scouting for goals

‘Liverpool scouts watch £35m-rated Bundesliga star ‘EVERY WEEK’ amid stunning Hoffenheim form as they look to replace outgoing Mohamed Salah – with Premier League rivals also circling’ – MailOnline.

…isn’t that what scouts do? Not particularly sure there should be any incredulity at all, never mind of an ALL CAPS nature.

Mood lighting

Sorry, Michael Carrick. It’s been a great run, but the harbinger of Manchester United doom has consigned you to the sack within the next few months.

Samuel Luckhurst of The Sun writes that there is a ‘feel-good factor’ at Manchester United thanks in large part to Harry Maguire’s new contract and a three-day training camp held in Ireland which has ‘galvanised the squad’, adding:

‘There is a breeziness about the United camp that those who have covered them for years are unaccustomed to.’

Apropos of nothing, here was Luckhurst during his final weeks for the Manchester Evening News, writing about the club’s general mood back in August:

‘Three games, two wins, one draw, eight goals and one trophy marked a positive pre-season tour for Manchester United as they won the Premier League Summer Series in the United States. ‘Beyond the results and performances, United have looked fitter than at this stage in recent years, the manager is secure and no clouds are hovering over the squad. ‘The past fortnight has provided a promising platform for a successful season.’

It was hailed as the ‘most upbeat United pre-season since 2017’. If ‘those who have covered them for years are unaccustomed to’ Manchester United feeling positive after a break, they have a significant short-term memory problem.

Mediawatch can remember when Manchester United had been ‘rebuilt’ by ‘mastermind’ Jim Ratcliffe, for example. It went well.

Here Luckhurst again, back in the summer:

‘Manchester United players are convinced they will have a successful first full season under head coach Ruben Amorim. ‘A senior United player assured the squad is “very optimistic” after a propitious pre-season tour of the United States, and that there is a “much better feel” around the camp. ‘Other dressing room sources have described the atmosphere as “very good”‘.

They then lost their first game, drew their second and scraped a win at home to Burnley in their third through a stoppage-time penalty, suffering a humiliating Carabao Cup exit to League Two side Grimsby in the meantime, before Amorim was ultimately sacked five months later.

Carrick might as well resign now; no-one survives a positive Luckhurst mood evaluation for long.

Rond moment

Also in that Luckhurst piece is this gem:

‘United used to primarily start opening training sessions with generic keep-ball exercises, known as “rondos” by football’s hipsters.’

For ‘football’s hipsters’, simply read: ‘most people who watch football a bit’.

Hey, Jude

Seems like a decent excuse to highlight this bit of standard Luckhurst self-importance, too, as it had initially slipped through the Mediawatch net.

The Sun‘s writers recently picked their best England XIs for the World Cup this summer and Luckhurst marked a perfectly sensible selection with this line on Jude Bellingham:

‘Bellingham is England’s most talented player and has to start as the No10 – if his inexplicable privileges are ended (ie dodging media commitments).’

Unimprovable pompous nonsense. No notes.

Silence is olden

‘Arne Slot breaks silence on Liverpool future after owners’ sack decision’ – Daily Express website.

The story from the Daily Telegraph broke on Thursday night and Slot addressed it at his scheduled press conference on Friday morning – the earliest possible opportunity for a man who presumably – and thankfully for his own mental health – does not live online.

Fair play to Slot for holding onto his ‘silence’ for so long.

Hakuna Mateta

The following lines all appear in Isabelle Barker’s match report from Selhurst Park for The Sun:

‘JEAN-PHILIPPE MATETA fired home his first goal in 98 days to leave Fiorentina dead as a Dodo at Selhurst Park.’ ‘The French striker slotted home a penalty on 24 minutes after Dodo had clattered into Evann Guessand in the box.’ ‘The spot-kick was given and Mateta crashed his penalty past David De Gea in the Fiorentina goal on 24 minutes.’

Mediawatch puts it to you, dear reader, that a goal simply cannot simultaneously be ‘fired home’, ‘slotted home’ and ‘crashed past’ a keeper. We’re all for having fun here but let’s not be too silly with it.