Man City ‘bottlers’ as Arsenal fans promise to be ‘insufferable’ | OneFootball

Man City imploding at Everton has sparked some predictable ‘bottle’ talk, with Arsenal fans enjoying the reversal.

We also have mails on Liverpool, Man Utd, Spurs and more. It’s warming up. Mail us at theeditor@football365.com

Man City and the big old bottle chat

Well I guess Man City have bottled it?? Weldoninhio, BAC

…Are City bottlers now? Are their fans nervous? Do they display nervous energy? Should Pep be doing better with unlimited funds, whilst also breaking the rules? Or does this just apply to Arsenal for clicks?

Always rated Uncle Moysey.

Drink your bottle of tears now you Sky Sports planted tw*t. Carragher nearly in tears trying to spin a positive outlook on it, didn’t remember the same when Arsenal bottled it 3-3 to Southampton. COYG Eoghan Ryan

…By the way. To all the United, Liverpool, West Ham and Chelsea fans who are cheering on City because Arsenal fans are insufferable, I have one thing to say. I don’t think you’ve ever met insufferable. I don’t think you even know what insufferable means. But this year you’re gonna learn. Russell Crowe (only OG’s know the reference)

…Presumably having found him so quickly after accidentally happening upon him in the crowd a couple of games ago, Sky will have no problem tracking down the Man City bottle guy for his in-depth analysis of that City performance? Simon, London

We are all bottle jobs

Not slamming Will Ford, but can the collective give it rest with the “bottling” narrative? It’s such a reductive taxonomy construct of success/failure denuded of context or nuance.

Did Renegade, Ocelli or Chief Wallabee “bottle it” or did Golden Tempo simply run a magical better race in the Kentucky Derby?

And though Roger Waters maybe has aged not so well, The Wall, like stinging nettles, well posited the normalized cruelty of how the English love to exploit the guy in the moment to have a laugh.

You can go back to the F365’s in the early 2000s, when F365 headlines referred to the OG Ronaldo as “the buck-toothed Brazilian”, Frank Lampard was derided as FFL (Fat Frank Lampard), and when Tim Howard signed for Manchester United, the F365 headline was to the effect of “Man U sign GK with f*cking Tourette’s!” They were “bottle jobs” not by actions, but just by appearance. Winner or loser – no in-between. Other than all aforementioned had professional careers to be envied, if you have haven’t achieved more than Ronaldo, Lampard or Timmy Howard, you are all bottle jobs.

For me, it was easy to sort while semester abroad studying at Birkbeck College in the 1980s and playing for their university 11s. It didn’t take long for me to learn to always be playing chess when others were playing checkers. Be ready to humiliate someone before they come at you, not Tai Che but MMA wordplay at the pub, and when you win by shaming the closest Lofty from EastEnders, the lads will pay for your next pint!

Yeah, there are true bottle jobs – Lol, my ATL Falcons vs. NE Patriots (and mostly Tom Brady) in Superbowl LI (51)…2005 CL final – bottle job by AC Milan (or Gerrard’s brilliance), for sure.

But seriously, is the sum of the English life experience a just reductionist exercise in assessing a binary outcome of “you are a bottle job…or not”?

The Manchester City vs. Arsenal outcome is shaping up to be a lot of fun for the neutral – one team will win and one will lose – BUT it has to be a bottle job on someone’s part, right?

Of course, doesn’t matter how you answer, Arsenal, Manchester City, your team, all teams, in real time, are both winners and losers, simultaneously – a Schrodinger’s Cat for footy fans – until the final whistle. And then someone will be a bottle job, or just didn’t win.

BTW, full disclosure, I live in the USA, love my country, and sorry, we are bottling it right now. Looking forward to next season, if there is one. Russell, Birmingham, AL

Everton could have won that game

1) Ndiaye should have scored two more. 2) Rohl tackled in the box, literally, no penalty. 3) Referee adds on more time where there was none to add.

Welcome to the Premier League. TX Bill (still can’t wait to see City skate punishment on the 115 charges) EFC

Does Bernardo Silva have a pass?

Wow..what a match. I’m sure others will comment more fully, but do different rules apply to Bernardo Silva? For both the O’Brien goal and later in the game, he was properly bear hugging Everton players and in the case of the second instance, wrestling them to the ground whilst not even looking at the ball. How does VAR justify not getting involved when they insert themselves into much more marginal situations? Pete, Shropham

Just play less football, guys

Just a note on the amount of football being played at the moment. One of my Arsenal friends has been complaining that the reason why Arsenal are struggling is because the players are tired. Pep has also moaned about the extra extra time added on and how it affects players.

I agree that there is too much football being played for normal human beings. LateStageCaptalism is reducing us to cogs in a machine and unfortunately the profit margin holds more value than humans in modern society

So while this isn’t going away, it should lead to clubs prioritising what competitions they want to compete for and remain in. You can’t push for every single competition and then feel grumpy that your players are knackered. It should lead to more open competition in things like the Carabao cup and fa cup where “bigger teams” could just blood younger players and academy prospects while focusing on “bigger trophies” like the Champions league or Premier League and we can go back to teams like Portsmouth winning trophies.

Point is that you can’t have your cake and eat it too. Disgruntled, RSA

Done with Arne Slot at Liverpool

That’s it, I’m done with Slot, I probably was weeks ago but may have given him some leeway, but Sunday’s result confirmed it. Not because Liverpool were absolutely dreadful, not because we once again started a game as if we had no idea as to how the opposition would be set up, not because we again played slow pedantic football (against a team who have struggled against pace all season}. Not because he once again made terrible substitutions, as poor as Chiesa is, 3 minutes plus added on time is pathetic, just stick Konate up front!

No, the reason is that I didn’t celebrate Liverpool’s goals, I wasn’t arsed, they were a “so what” moment. Before the game started I hoped Liverpool would win, before the game I wanted Liverpool to win, during the game I couldn’t be arsed. I did want a third goal if only for the meltdown there would have been amongst the United fans, if only for the amusement of saying “you lost to THIS Liverpool side!”.

The only thing Slot doesn’t do is rub his face in bemusement a la Roy. His “inspirational” team talks must be a joy to behold. “Now then lads, when you lose the ball, don’t lose it here and here as United have really fast players, they’ve got Bruno Fernandes, I’ve got no idea how to handle him. Tell you what, take it easy early on and I’ll decide what to do at half time”.

His post match conferences are even worse, “this keeps happening to us”. The signings have been a disaster, who’d have thought we’d concede so may goals from set-pieces when our full backs look forward to the Xmas period when they can moonlight in panto. I actually excuse Wirtz from this as he claims he was convinced to join as Slot had a clear plan of how to use him, a plan he has clearly not implemented and can’t really blame injuries.

Yes he won the League and whilst I don’t subscribe to “Salah carried the team”, he was the difference maker, as poor as we have been, we are still fourth!

Everyone was saying that Liverpool would blow teams away with the addition of the summer signings, but when your manager sets the team up and implements tactics to nullify this threat don’t be surprised if this doesn’t happen.

Thanks but goodbye, if FSG keep him, next season could be worse! Howard (not interested in injuries as an excuse} Jones

Man Utd just not played any football

I see Manchester United are being hailed as being the best team in the league since Carrick’s appointment with numerous articles supporting this stance gracing the home page of the revered F365 and other, shall we say, less reputable media outlets.

Fair play. Their results have been good. Their performances less so at times, but it is results that matter.

That being said. If we delve a little deeper into circumstances since Carrick’s January 13th appointment. There is a glaring difference between United and the other top five teams.

This is the amount of games that the top five have each had to play on or after January 13th…

Arsenal 27 Man City 23 Man United 14 (Yes. Fourteen!) Liverpool 23 Villa 23

It turns out that the luxury of playing almost half the fixtures of other teams whilst being able to thoroughly rest your players is a major advantage. Who’d have thought?

Once again. Good results, but surely a little context is required when praising United’s form. Paul King, Manchester

Man Utd must still appoint Michael Carrick

I see that despite Ian Watson’s piece about Carrick’s performance, the general tone at F365 is that it would be a mistake to give Carrick the job. Here are 4 more points to ponder.

(1) Carrick’s job was to deliver Champions League and he has not only delivered it, but has done so with 3 games to go. The value of this shouldn’t be underestimated. It allows for 3 free-hits of experimentation. Three games to give the likes of Lacey, Fletcher, and Thwaite a chance to prove themselves at top level, and also evaluate them for next season. Perhaps to give Yoro a run of games to also see if he can perform consistently. And to start squad planning early for next season including decisions for Rashford, player sales, getting early discussions going with prospective targets – that’s a 3 week headstart compared to where they could be otherwise.

(2) The common opinion on these pages and elsewhere seems to be that Enrique is the man who we really want. I just want to highlight that amazing as PSG are, and glittering as his CV is, there are asterisks to his credentials. At Barcelona he took over a treble winning team – with Messi, Iniesta, Xavi, and Busquets in the engine room. At PSG he runs a team with the highest wage bill in world football. By some reports the PSG first team wage bill is €100 million more than Man United. How sure are we that Enrique’s magic will persist on a relatively meagre budget? Is this as risk free as we think it is?

(3) Iraola is the other candidate who I think a lot of United fans (including myself) wouldn’t mind at Old Trafford. But to think this is a sure shot is folly. First we’ve had recent examples of why success at one mid table club does not translate to another club looking to play a different brand of football. Second, Bournemouth have done well-ish but are still a club that tends to beat their peers, lose to the top teams (exception – Arsenal and a stuttering Liverpool), and occasionally drop points to the bottom teams (Burnley, for example). The impressive thing about Bournemouth is of course their season by season progression – 15th, 12th, 9th, and currently 6th. If we went from Amorim to Iraola, most of us would have been jumping with joy. Yet, going from Carrick’s current version to Iraola may end up being a sideways step with a lot of cost involved. I’d prefer Iraola to Enrique, though.

(4) And lastly, let’s consider the scenario where United to get in a new manager. It is definitely not unthinkable that a new manager takes time to bed in, the team take some time to adjust to (yet) another new system. Some players don’t work out for the new manager. United slip to mid table and we write it off as a transitional season and there are rumblings about how the squad isn’t good enough and might take 3-4 transfer windows to fix. The same story we’ve heard on repeat for a decade. Meanwhile Carrick and his team decamp to Bournemouth. Or to Newcastle – where he’s treated like the returning prodigal son. And guides them to a top 4 finish. And F355 goes back to calling it ‘hilarious’.

Football is littered with examples of clubs that thought they could do better but badly burnt themselves. West Ham sacked Moyes after winning the Conference League and after finishing 9th. Or remember Pochettino and Spurs. Sometimes the grass just seems greener on the other side. Ved Sen (MUFC)

Michael Carrick is The Boat v The Mystery Box

Remember way back when Family Guy used to be funny…

Well, there is an episode that I remembered when thinking about this “difficult situation” Man Utd currently find themselves regarding Michael Carrick (the boat).

Peter Griffin (Man Utd Board) and his wife Lois (Man Utd Fans) are in a pushy salesman’s office. The pushy salesman (The media and opposing fans) is hoping he can persuade them to make a comically wrong decision (the mystery box).

Here is the conversation:

The media and opposing fans: Mr and Mrs…Man Utd. If you sign this contract without reading it, I’ll take your blank cheque, and you won’t not be not loving your time-share before you know it.

Man Utd Board: We’re not gonna buy your lousy time-share, all right? Now where’s my boat?

The media and opposing fans: Hold on! You have a choice. You can have the boat or the mystery box…

Man Utd Fans: Are you crazy? We’ll take the boat.

Man Utd Board: Not so fast, fans. A boat’s a boat, but the mystery box could be anything. It could even be a boat! You know how much we want one of those.

Man Utd Fans: Then let’s take the…

Man Utd Board: We’ll take the box.

Thank you for your time. Paddy G, MUFC, Mombasa, Kenya (winning 5 games in a row and getting that annoying guy to shave his hair, counts as a trophy)

Cry those salty tears, Spurs haters

It’s funny but I’m not sure I recall an entire Mailbox moaning when Palace rested Sarr, Kambada and Mateta with Wharton already out against West Ham a couple of weeks ago.

It’s almost as if people are so desperate for spurs to go down they are being total hypocrites isn’t it?

Also worth pointing out that even the ‘weakened’ Villa side wasn’t missing their keeper, captain and best centre half, all of 3 of their senior number 10s and their entire first choice forward line.

I know it’s inconvenient for most but maybe Spurs just played well and deserved to win. Get over it. Phil, London

…So I’d been wondering if Spurs were really as doomed as everyone said they were, or if the majority of football journalists just really disliked them. I read through the usual round of predictions on Friday, where no one gave Spurs a chance and thought, I’m not so sure.

I get it. The 9th richest football club in the world being relegated is hilarious. And Lincoln away writes itself. But isn’t journalism meant to be about finding an unexpected angle. I’d seen enough from RDZ to have some belief about last night’s result. Anyways…the bookies saw it. The journos weren’t having it.

Villa. Failed to score in last two games. In between two-legged semis. Ageing squad reliant on a settled 11. Likelihood for changes to disrupt the team’s rhythm. They were there for the taking…and they were rotten. (Usually a lot to like about Villa. Not last night).

This goes from the very top to the very bottom of the journalist pyramid by the way…

Jonathan Liew. The best of the best. Writes a very shaky article about Spurs cheating on the romance of football a couple of weeks back

Tickner. Does Tickner support Spurs? Mate, this is journalism, not therapy. Do better.

Chris Sutton. Couldn’t wait to drop a Lincoln gag on Friday. Work harder for license payer’s money.

Alan Smith. Look, everyone’s got to earn a crust but he’s probably got enough in the bank by now. It’s time for him to be taken off air. His boring, moribund voice and anti-Spurs sentiment makes a mockery of anyone handing over money for football coverage. Enough.

Spurs might still go down. But please stop churning out crap copy. If I want Lincoln away bants, I can go on instagram. Andrew Woodford Green

…To West Ham fans raging about Sunday, a reminder that Spurs are above you because they have lost fewer games than you, scored more goals than you and conceded fewer goals than you. Sam

Point of order on the Agueeeero moment

In response to Tony’s red tinted revisionism, can I offer some facts. Both second halves started at exactly the same time. The reason City’s game lasted longer was due to a certain J Barton deciding to get sent off, and then trying to instigate a brawl so City players would retaliate, so one or more would also get a red. That used up a chunk of time resulting in City’s game needing 5 minutes of injury time to complete.

Now Fergie did complain post-match that both games should finish at the same time, but didn’t offer an explanation how that would work. Should the United game be paused for 3 minutes so they can catch up? What if a United or Sunderland player got injured after that, causing another stoppage, then the City game has to be paused as well. The games could go on and on! It’s unworkable and just one of those things grown-ups accept and get on with it.

And if you listen to Nedum Onuoha talk about the City v QPR game, he had no idea that QPR were safe and collapsed to the floor after Aguero scored (rewatch the game and look), as he thought he had been relegated. So again, you’re wrong, QPR didn’t all lose interest and gave City and easy win.

Imagine being that bitter for so long, for the wrong reasons!?!? And passing that to your son as well. What a waste of time and energy, when Google is free.