Three signings ‘ended Howe’s Newcastle career’ – but did he quit in ultimate ‘d*ck move?’ | OneFootball

Eddie Howe will fare better than Newcastle out of this break-up, with the Magpies ‘a f**king mess’ with a ‘disintegrating’ squad.

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Howe am I supposed to live without you?

Eddie Howe’s departure marks the end of a highly successful era at NUFC. It’s also highlighted his strengths and flaws in a way that will be useful to England head honchos after Tuchel flies off back to Germany propelled by his magic ears.

First and foremost, Eddie Howe is one of the best English coaches of all time. Burn, Gordon, Anderson, Hall, Livramento, and Wilson all made their England debuts after being identified and coached by Howe and Miley could be next.

2nd, Eddie Howe only really needs two world class players to build a PL top 5 system. Howe’s Newcastle was essentially Bruno Guimaraes FC with Isak tapping em in. This bodes well for England. Howe can absolutely maximise the performances of players who buy into his system: Joelinton, Longstaff, Murphy, Wilson, Isak and Burn being good examples. But his biggest flaw is that he cant adapt his system to suit maverick players like Woltemade. Both Elanga and Wissa scored more goals at the World Cup than under Howe at Newcastle. They both looked like £50m internationals this summer but at Newcastle they played like body doubles.

3. If u look at NUFC’s line up against Liverpool in the Carabao cup final less than 18 months ago, it’s absolutely mind blowing that they got to that point so quickly after surviving relegation. That was really the high point of the Howe era and its unlikely they’ll field such an 11 again in the next 10 years or maybe ever. This was the big problem both Howe and the club were facing. Without Bruno and Isak, Howe no longer has the players or the quality to make his system work. Signing Wissa, Elanga and Woltemade ended Howe’s Newcastle career because he can’t use them effectively. Wissa and Elanga were starightjacketed and neutralized by Howe’s management and Howe actually made a post match dig at Woltemade about the type of goals he was scoring during his hot streak. A huge boo boo from a man who usually handles the media extremely well.

4. No one knows what Nick Woltemade is but what everyone knows is they definitely want to see him on the pitch ALL THE F**KING TIME. He’s not a world class player but he is a maverick magician. Newcastle are not big enough or good enough to leave Woltemade pushing out piles on the bench. The reason no one knows what Woltemade’s best position is, is because there is no position. A bit like Trent and David Luiz. He can’t play as a lone striker and he’s not really a #10. He’s the mythical 9 and a half. A character out of Harry Potter. You have to play him with a #9 and you have to have a solid midfield behind him so u play 4231 or 4222.

5. Jaissie’s job interview at Newcastle  is basically: Can you play 4231 and 4222 and would u like millions of pounds? (Yes and Yes by the way).

6. Eddie Howe’s next job needs to be a big 6 club with a world class midfield general and a habitual goal scorer at #9. NUFC and Howe have split at exactly the right time but Howe’s future is more likely to be brighter. Ben

NUFC and England fan.

Howe has provided the only trophy in my lifetime. Against a Liverpool side everyone was expecting to win easily. That’s a memory I’ll never forget. Big Dan Burn, Isak’s goal, Bruno in tears. All thanks to Howe.

These players and manager may leave, but fair play you’ve earnt it.

Plus, we’ve got a massive name in Jaissle(?) coming in. Simon S, NUFC, Cheshire

I’ve wanted Eddie Howe gone for months, and now he is. I’m glad we’re turning the page, but know too little about this new guy to be excited. And I’m angry at somebody, I just don’t know whom.

If Eddie up and quit on a club that wanted to keep him three weeks before the season, it’s a dick move, however bitter he may have been to watch his squad disintegrating. He is, after all, part of the reason some players want to leave at this point. Or did the board just drag its imbecile feet in finding a replacement they’d decided to find much earlier?

There are so many questions, beyond “Did Eddie jump, or was he pushed?”

How did we have a replacement already lined up? Did Eddie come to an understanding with the club at some point? When? Might the club have warned him of the decision and kept paying him to avoid bad press or save his dignity? He hasn’t really seemed like himself in recent pressers, though UNFC.com reports that he interacted with players and coaching staff normally during the City friendly. .

Were the squad aware of the decision before the Bristol City friendly? Before that? Why would the club let him coach the squad for important friendlies, if he was to be sacked? How much input has he had on transfers? Could even Gordon and Tonali have known before they left? If so, how could the club move so slowly? Or was the mooted (insultingly low, imo) £80m Bruno transfer in fact the last straw for him?

The only thing I’m sure of is that NUFC are a f**king mess right now. I’m probably a little angry at everybody involved. Chris C, Toon Army DC (My nephew reports that Anthony Elanga was actually a handful v Bristol City. That’s what I’ve got for good news, because Botman, Pope and Jaouen were evidently awful.)

King of football

It was probably inevitable that the two most corrupt entities on the planet would finally align themselves to extort the World even more. After witnessing the potential cash cow that the World Cup is, and with the USA unlikely to ever be competitive in it, Taco probably thought, “why not just take over FIFA instead?” Sort of like what happened to Venezuela but this time the leader gets a cash payout.

If you thought hydration breaks were bad, wait until the USA “Americanizes” Football. That word is gone for a start and we will all have to call it “the gulf of soccer”. There is already talk of 64 teams at the next World Cup, and I’m sure we can imagine a host of other ridiculous ideas, such as the World Cup every two years to name just one. In order to push this through, FIFA seems to be taking a page out of the Elon Musk playbook and bribing smaller nations with cash to approve this measure so it is undoubtedly going to happen. After all, countries like Cape Verde probably need the cash (although how much will go to the Executives instead of the grassroots is debatable).

And guess who will then be installed as the new FIFA President! And you think FIFA is corrupt now? Surely this cannot be allowed to happen.

Does UEFA, and its constituent national F.A.s have the stones to just break away? It’s been done many times before in sport. Boxing has a zillion different bodies, the USFL, the Kerry Packer Circus, are just a few other examples. In fact, UEFA actually holds all the cards – all the major leagues in the world are in Europe and all the best players in the world play in these European leagues. Europe already has its own version of the World Cup, the Euros, and whilst it may be missing a few football powerhouses like Brazil and Argentina, I’d be willing to forego all that diversity and pageantry for what is going to be shoved down our throats.

I’m not suggesting that UEFA is any less corrupt but I don’t think I am being melodramatic when I say that if the USA gets its grubby little hands on Football, it will be the end of the Beautiful Game! Adidasmufc (I pondered all the ridiculous things an American run FIFA might try and introduce and I began to get depressed)

Trust Infantino to twist the knife. What a despicable man.

With so much riding on equally corrupt football associations doing the right thing, our only hope is for the footballers themselves to wake up. They are the ones who would be playing for the world, and making all of these fat b*stards richer.

Why not a fifpro organized world cup? Akillies

I dreamed a dream

Hi all,

I had a weird dream last night. The 115 infractions or whatever finally come through and PL has finally agreed to punish City. But city are too big to be relegated now, and what with the Sheikhs in UAE being pissed off in this war like political climate and good old corruption, it is decided that City pay a fine of XYZ million pounds to each of the affected teams. Obviously some of the richer teams refuse,mainly the big 6 (or is it 8 now?). As a compromise, City allows each of the big teams one exchange of players, but with certain rules, they have to play more or less the same position. Example you can’t replace a defender with a striker, and also only 1st team players allowed

Also City’s latest signings, aka Anderson doesn’t count.

As current champions, Arsenal go first, they Obviously ask for Halland. Now you would think they ll exchange one Scandinavian forward for another in Gyokeres but nope, they return Gabriel Jesus instead. Pretty Hilarious.

Next is United’s turn, being the next highest finisher and also their biggest rivals. United happily ask for Rodri, and give away Ugarte, a defensive mid for a degemsive mid. City isnt happy, Ugarte being crocked for like a half a year (and of course his footballing abilities). United argue that Rodri has back issues and might need surgery and some time off too. So an injured DM for another. The PL agrees.

Next up are the scousers. Think they ll replace their Egyptian king Salah with another king Marmoush? nope, too many 9s/10s in the squad. They give away Chiesa for Sememyo. City are somewhat relieved it isnt Gapko.

Villa  try being cheeky and ask for Doku in return for Garnacho but loan signings don’t count. They finally settle on Phil Foden for Ross Berkley,  an English dual utlity CM/AM  for an English CM/DM.

Next up, Chelsea, they swap Fofana for “experience” of Ruben Diaz. Alonso later points out that they could have had Donnaruma or Dokuor even Marmoush but the blue company is happy. Next up Newcastle, with having sold everyone they don’t really have anyone to exchange. They trade Woldermate for Omar Marmoush.

Spurs, being Spurs,  finally get Savinho and give away Mathys Tel.

And that’s all folks. That’s the dream.

City being punished by just a 5k fine would still be a dream come true at this point. -Rahil, Mumbai,MUFC (loved the biggest signing concept from Calvinho, for us United, Casemiro has to be the top one in post SAF era. A world class multiple CL winning midfielder, coming in for big money, still somewhat in his prime, with big promises, who didn’t do too bad at United and left as somewhat of a hero and fan favorite, Pogba is a close 2nd but loses points for his shenanigans and not achieving his potential, wondering what others think)

Rashford365

Is it ok now to just call Marcus Rashford a greedy b*stard? Everybody is talking as if his contract situation is some sort of unsolvable puzzle? I’m seeing lots of sympathy for him due to Barcelona picking Gordon over him. I’m seeing articles on the complications of his contract, his salary, his expectations etc etc. Its all nonsense. He’s just a greedy b*stard. That’s ok. But lets just start at the root cause of the problem. Marcus (and Man Utd).

Marcus simply needs to accept a lower wage to get a relatively simple move to a champions league standard team. He does however clearly value money above all else. He simply refuses to envision any future that does not involve 300+k per week . He of course does not deserve 300+k per week. He has been a mixture of good, ok and piss poor since he signed that contract. Currently hes a 100k per week standard player max. Barely…

He does not care about Man Utd. He is holding them to ransom. That’s ok, united were stupid to offer him a new bumper contract as he mysteriously raised his game around contract negotiation time. But lets just call it what it is. Greed. I would probably do the exact same thing, but i wouldn’t expect anything else other than disdain from the people affected. In this instance the club and the fans are affected. So the “Manchester boy” nonsense needs to stop. Lets accept reality. He seems like a good bloke who refuses to give up money he does not deserve but is legally entitled to.

United now has to either take back a player who was a terrible influence on the team, or loan him out as he runs down his contract. He’s the equivalent of the bloke in work who got injured on site and has milked it for the last 5 years just because he can. The rest of the team are affected, the business suffers, the additional workload shared, the job made harder for everyone.

Just because you can, doesnt mean you should… Shz

Headline act

So I saw your article headlined ‘Liverpool set to lodge huge offer for Bradley Barcola after Fabrizio Romano update‘ when I got in from work this morning.

I was sincerely hoping that the ‘Liverpool set to lodge huge offer for Bradley Barcola’ and ‘after Fabrizio Romano update’ parts of the headline were completely separate things, and thankfully they are! No club should be doing anything based on Romano’s bullsh*t.

The ‘huge offer’ bit was provided by talkSPORT and the ‘Romano update’ was one you published yesterday about personal terms.

As an aside, I sort of agree with the quotes attributed to Jamie Carragher that he doesn’t see Barcola as a Salah replacement as ‘he plays on the opposite flank’ so I don’t think this would be the intention, but this could mean we will be trying to sell Cody Gakpo (Barcola would be an upgrade for sure) or possibly that Iraola doesn’t see Wirtz as a player who will be playing off the left so much.

I do see a problem on the right hand side though, unless the intention is to rehabilitate Frimpong or Chiesa in this position, buy someone else, or something else entirely! A, LFC, Montreal.

A bunch of Scaloni

Now that I have fully recovered from my irrational hatred of all things Argentine, I can face my Argentino amigo again and say things like, Enzo Fernandez is a nuisance but most of us would begrudgingly agree that we’d rather have such a player on our team than on the opponent’s.

James Hornastle often bigs up his Lautaro, telling us that he deserves greater respect across European fandom, and as a team, the never-say-die spirit is what we love and adore across the English football pyramid. The Albiceleste have it in spades.

So, the young coach, Leo Scaloni, taught at the FIA school of De La Fuente along with Arteta, Alonso and many others, has a bright future ahead of him if he chooses to leave international coaching.

I’ve been pondering his possible career path, among many other things, in this endless lull of competitive footie.

Bored of the transfer coulds and maybes my presumptions are thus.

So with the big cultural connection between Italian football and Argentinian, there is a decent chance that the Nerra-Azzuri would be interested. Since Simone Inzagi fagged off to the backwater which is West Asian oily ball, they haven’t looked so decent. Champions in a weak league yes.

Then there is the hottest of hot seats at the Bernabeu, where, given the chilli ingredients, I’d suggest a honeymoon period as brief as a hydration (refill my cold beer) break, swiftly followed by a Jose grumpy fit, leaving the door ajar for a Scaloni mega contract, with a side dish of Argentina legends.

Alongside Madrid, some top wages would be on offer across the so-called Big Six English clubs though too. And, given a financial shenanigans rule change, NUFC  might also be a destination as, surely there must be pressure on the country’s controllers to loosen the purse strings to allow the Magpies to magpie Europe’s top talent some time soon. UK’s Arms deals are important after all.

Post Bates Chelsea being Chelsea, they would be my first bet for a Leo Scaloni bumper contract yet one could also foresee them Red Devils needing a headline act if the haloed one doesn’t quite pull it off.

To finish, last but not least, who would your ‘dark horses’  for the early runners this new season be?

Liverpool won five out of five last August/September and if their transfer plans come together, I can see an early new manager bounce, whereas Villa started appallingly and will desperately want to improve on that.

Will Cov see through the fatfrankness of their coach?

Just bring it on forthwith and don’t spare the horses. Peter ( Barcelona to be crowned European Champions ) Andalucia.

Biggest Premier League transfers

Nice letter from Calvinho about the most, “……….wwwwwhut?” signings in Premier League history. I don’t think I have a list that will be a big departure from the other lists that you receive, but I’ve typed it all out now so you might as well publish it. Soooo… in absolutely no order:

Ravanelli to Middlesborough – the first one that sprung to my mind. Ravanelli wasn’t Juventus’ star striker, nor was he a starting striker, but he was an Italian international striker that was leaving Juventus (bah gawd!) to sign for Middlesborough, which back then were literally akin to the Dog & Duck. Ravanelli clearly only went for three big reasons: 1. The money, 2. The playing time, 3. The lure of Bryan Robson. Today’s equivalent to that transfer would be Bradley Barcola signing for Coventry.

Lombardo to Palace – Hot on the heels of Ravanelli was Lombardo. Maybe the thunder-stealing wow factor was Ravenelli’s, but 40 year old balding Lombardo was actual levels above anyone else in the Palace side at that time.

D’Allessandro to Portsmouth – maybe he wasn’t the massive household name mega-star of some of the other names, but he was an extremely highly regarded prospect and I don’t think anyone was surprised to see him turn up in the Premier League, but at Pompey? Wowsers. D’Allessandro is the archetypal Tottenham player. Burns brightly for a short time before shuffling off in to obscurity.

Ansu Fati to Brighton – like, whhhhhhhhut? The only other Ansu Fati I’ve heard of is the wonderkid product of La Masia. This must be some other Ansu Fati, right? Oh it is the same Ansu Fati and, oh, he’s had a bad injury and, oh, he’s never really recovered from that injury.

Asprilla to Newcastle – absolute shenanigans at the time. Don’t forget, Parma were one of the biggest clubs in Serie A back then. This would be like Newcastle signing Jeremy Doku from Man City today, only if Doku was absolutely mental and gone in the head, as opposed to being a committed professional.

Bergkamp to Arsenal – as an Arsenal fan, this one is special. I remember being about 14 or 15 years old, being on holiday on a beach in Torremolinos, and it was the opening weekend of the Premier League. I went to grab an English newspaper to get all the match results, and to especially see how many hat-tricks Bergkamp had scored, only to see that Arsenal drew 1-1 with Middlesborough. Ugh.

Ozil to Arsenal – this one came from nowhere. In the golden age of Sky Sports News 24hr Transfer Deadline Day, there’s no more room for surprise transfers. Everyone knows everything and nothing is genuinely out of the blue any more. Unless you are Ozil to Arsenal. Today’s equivalent is Jude Bellingham rocking up, out of nowhere, to Arsenal. Or…

Sol Campbell to Arsenal – Arsene Wenger called a press conference randomly and suddenly. In walks Sol Campbell. On a free. Scenes.

Klinnsmann to Tottenham – this is a very important transfer because no one could ever really quite believe this one happened. Klinnsmann was, at the time, the starting striker for Germany, who were the best international team in the world. Better yet, and I mean this with affection, he was the perfect fit for Spurs. It was mutual adoration, and plus he still had it.

Renato Sanches to Swansea – I know it was only on loan, and I know Swansea were the coolest side in the land at the time but still… WTAF?

Robinho to Man City – quite possibly the biggest statement of intent of all time. Robinho, at the time, was destined to be the next Ronaldinho. Newly-minted Man City took Real Madrid’s star young player and there was nothing they could do to stop them

Tevez to Man City – actually, maybe this was quite possibly the biggest statement of intent of all time.

Sancho to Man Utd – for me personally I remember being absolutely gutted that Man Utd got Sancho. He was probably the best attacker in the world at the time and I really was concerned that he would lead Man Utd to the Premier League. Thankfully he forgot how to play football when he arrived in Manchester, but for me at least I thought Sancho was going to Real or Barca. Dale May, Swindon Wengerite

Good question from Calvinho.

Most of the suggestions were players past their best or players signed in the big money era (post Man City becoming rich), or both.

My suggestion: Juan Sebastian Veron to Manchester United.

United had just won the treble, shaking off years of European underachievement and exile. Italy was still THE prime footballing destination and Veron was at his peak having been an integral part of THAT Lazio team. He was a genuine Rolls Royce of a player that hadn’t been developed and sold off, but actually plucked from a top side in the top league at his prime, for a league record signing fee of almost 30 million quid.

Sure he was a bit of a flop, but any signing that prompts Fergie to call the press pack “f**king idiots” has to be worth a mention. Samwise,  MUFC

Happier times