Arteta would be ‘absolutely bonkers’ to start Arsenal top scorer against Manchester United | OneFootball

Mikel Arteta would be ‘absolutely bonkers’ to make one selection call against Manchester United, while a ‘theory’ has emerged that Pep Guardiola will resign.

One football writer saw Viktor Gyokeres score against Inter at the San Siro and decided to plough straight through with the narrative he settled on after half an hour.

And Guardiola is about to step down from Manchester City THIS WEEK.

Viktor spoils

Fair play to Charlie Wyett of The Sun, who for not a single second contemplated changing the angle of his Arsenal reaction piece to the victory over Inter.

Many of those watching events unfold at the San Siro quite sensibly felt that beating Viktor Gyokeres with a Gabriel Jesus-shaped stick was no longer applicable once the Swede rose from the bench to score a wonderful goal of his own.

Do not count Wyett among them; he makes basically no effort to disguise the seams of the paragraph he crowbarred into what he had already written after half an hour:

He scored his second in the 31st minute but fine.

That would indeed undermine the very foundation of the piece if you didn’t just barge straight past it like Gyokeres in the Portuguese league.

Sorry, but a) that’s an atrocious hyphen, and b) what the f*** is ‘an ACL knee’?

Wyett gives what barely passes as an explanation for his stance that Arsenal, the Premier League leaders with a perfect Champions League record based largely on squad depth and rotation, ‘need Jesus starting games’, praising the Brazilian’s ‘all-round play and the way he held the ball up and linked play’.

Jesus was very good but it doesn’t feel as though Gyokeres would be hailed for ‘the way he held the ball up and linked play’ after completing 14 passes.

It’s almost as if someone was forced by that sublime Gyokeres finish to manufacture another reason as to why Jesus apparently ‘HAS’ to start because they couldn’t be bothered to start writing again from scratch.

Arsenal have won seven and drawn two of the nine games Gyokeres has started since the November international break. He has been far from brilliant but it also doesn’t feel like Arteta ‘will be absolutely bonkers if he once again sticks with’ his joint top scorer this season in their next game.

By the end, and with no more evidence offered in support beyond that fabled way Jesus ‘held the ball up and linked play’, we are told again by Wyett that ‘Arteta needs to be cruel’ and keep Gyokeres benched against Manchester United.

Just embrace the rewrite, pal. You tend to look daft otherwise.

Gyok the weak

The Sun website does love itself a theme, mind. So ”Gyokeres, pack your bags’ – Arsenal star Jesus scores two in 30 minutes v Inter’ remains a prominent headline on their homepage despite it being rendered really quite moot by full time.

‘ARSENAL fans told Viktor Gyokeres to “pack your bags” after watching Gabriel Jesus net a brace against Inter Milan,’ apparently.

It was one Arsenal fan, whose tweet to 395 followers received two likes. And a headline in a presumably reputable news outlet.

I’ve got the Keys, you’ve got the secret

The Daily Mirror website realises that sticking one in on Gyokeres after that goal doesn’t really work, so they instead try and convert the open net presented by Manchester City being hilariously bad.

And they finish with aplomb as this is their leading story:

That ‘theory’ has been put forth by Professor Richard Keys, who says “it’s on his mind, I’m telling you, to leave this week”.

Is that a theory? Or just a professional thrower of sh*t at the wall doing what he does best?

Either way, it is compelling, almost inarguable evidence that Guardiola will be gone THIS WEEK (despite Manchester City being second in the Premier League, in a Champions League knockout phase spot and in both other cup competitions, including a semi-final in which they are leading 2-0 heading into the second leg).

The bloke stuck around for much worse than a couple of admittedly insipid defeats last season. But he’s off now.

“He does this a lot, so you can’t read much into it, but this time you can” is pure, uncut, unadulterated Keys.

Main man

The player scapegoated by the previous manager but immediately platformed by the next one and given 90 minutes to impress on his first Premier League start of the season in a Manchester derby is going to STAY?!

What gave that away? Definitely the ‘talks’ that REVEALED it.

Jack it in

‘Grealish sweating on England spot as star set to miss MONTHS with foot fracture’ – The Sun website.

Can you be ‘sweating on England spot’ having not made a single squad in over a year, including none of the camps held by the current manager?

Thomas Tuchel didn’t pick Grealish in September when he started his Everton loan with four assists in three games; he probably wasn’t on the precipice before this injury with two goals, two assists and a red card in 18 appearances for the Toffees since.